once bitten it is only a matter of time

wikipe-tan in the library of babel. very important

new ethical self defense weapon sichuan pepper spray

everyone should have their mohs hardness rating in their bio

dollgirls when you offer them the joint

horny jeb bush: please cum

doing knifeplay with a bladeless knife with no handle

when the balls have a dick >>>

queen sized dick dinner for crab

me and my wife collectively decided to start headcanoning the child of welsh medieval history youtuber Cambrian Chronicles as transgender based on nothing apparently

🤰

Can’t wait to introduce bird-based storage into my backup system

fujoing out watching my girlfriend and our friend have an engaging conversation about linguistics

I'm cool. No problems.

"how much fuck would a wood suck dick" -my drunk wife

GO! MY LABUBU MISSILE! KILL!

Snow is real pretty if you don't have to go out in it.

me specifically having a feather collection feels like slut behaviour

they should invent velvet shedding but for girls

i bet velvet shedding feels good as fuck

heatstroke got me staring at a still image of google maps on my boyfriend's phone thinking it is entertainment

"yeah yesterday with like Gobo and Froggit or whatever..." <- my beautiful wife trying to talk about Frodo and Sam from Lord of the Rings

my body is a machine that turns my girlfriend's tshirts into my tshirts

instinctually giggling when my girlfriend picks me up

christopher eccleston best doctor so far

was scrolling social media in front of girlfriend and saw a random selfie of some man in an unspecified location in norway and gf inmediately goes "wait. i wanna find that on streetview" and we did

Hey, little cutie! Do you need a mature woman to show you the ways of the world?~ Okay! This is a called a torrent client. It doesn't work on its own. You have to go to websites and search for torrent files and magnet links. They'll tell the torrent client how to download the files that you want.

the failed academic -> sugar baby pipeline is so real

"you're the 9/11 of girlfriends" -my wife

sweat kink is awesome until summer comes around

Happy 4th

I need more deplorable middle aged women in art please.

it is boyfriend time official no clickbait

having the equally exciting and horrifying realization that i have actually picked up IPA through osmosis by dating my linguist girlfriend

Not interesting. Sorry. Not your fault, perhaps, but you are not interesting, and I can't waste energy talking to boring people.

"do people even do autobiography anymore or are they just doing video essays" - christina

at that stage in my shift where i saw the license plate of the car in front of me (13321) and immediately exclaimed "ohh! cute!!"

oscillating rn. vibrating. transferring af

oscillating between having a constant breakdown about and thinking it's funny as fuck that i am The Insane One with all the Symptoms

what is the verdict on picking your boyfriend you haven't seen in 5 months up from the airport while looking like shit. grounds for divorce? what is the wergild

strangely satisfying to have someone ask you to confirm some red flags they've noticed about someone i knew and being able to tell them that Yes They Are Bad Stay Away

genuinely do wish i could attend pride some day though

tipping your transgender taxi driver 20% is what pride is all about

oh hey life update btw: so this plural thing is pretty crazy huh

naps one hour before bedtime is just all i am left with to feed my gambling addiction these days

why is it that fake jewellery can't just be fake jewellery and it HAS to make your skin grey and green and blue and whatever as it disintegrates around your finger. 🖕

i feel like i should post more pictures of my like freakishly sharp teeth. people seem to like them