lol

@centralbylines.co.uk what is going on in this news room? You guys need to clean house. Promoting Reform as a party with any competence for governing is out of touch with demonstrable reality, calling them anything but the dog whistling racist bigots they are is dereliction of duty.

In the last two days I’ve learned two bits of information on pollution and climate change and basically the wrong kind of snakes are getting bigger. We really need to lead with that. #teenytinytrousersnakes

With so much awful news, here is something to brighten your day:

Really? We should be "waging war" on fake politicians who pretend to be MPs, are paid fortunes by the British taxpayer, but who can't be bothered or trusted to turn up for work... even in the constituency where they were elected. #FakerFarage #ReformUK #ukpolitics #r4today #bbcnews

Honestly, my opinion of the NHS is only getting worse, and it’s not always a result of Tory policies. I know for sure though that the blue waffle pictured is only going to make it worse with his plans and his capitulations to lobbyists.

I got the yarn plied! It’s far from great, but I’m still very pleased. Except all of my other fluff is lost in the loft sooooooo… is there any way to unspin it so I can use it again? (Pretty sure e-spinners are addictive.)

A mug that detects when it’s full and beeps every few minutes to remind you to drink from it. #whatthetechworldshouldbegivingus

a handmade embroidery artwork titled "Manually embroidered cats" created by artist @ladyserebrennikova.

I borrowed an e spinner from my guild (I can’t treadle, so trad wheels are no go’s) and was expecting to remember absolutely nothing from my brief stint of drop spindling. Turns out my hands have a much better memory than my brain, and apart from the fact that I fight the fibre, I think I did good

I forgot about the carrot thing.

Voters have just today left to register to vote for the local elections taking place across England on 7 May. Anyone who wants to take part must register before 11.59pm tonight. Registering takes minutes at gov.uk/register-to-vote. Just need name, address & National Insurance number. Pass it on.

Happy 80th birthday to Tim Curry who has always, *always* understood the assignment.

I found a photo this morning of my mum eating tapas from years ago, then someone at the guild meet mentioned tapas and now I’ve just opened an app and it’s played a vid about a tapas place in Mayfair at me. I think the universe is telling me to eat tapas.

Talking to my cat about identifying our inner arseholes and not doing what they say.

I gave it another chance. It was painful to get through any scene with Mrs Bennet (literally - seething hurts the teeth) and I still dislike how they couldn’t let a woman be unlikable, thus denying us the pleasure of watching Mary actually grow. But it was charming and funny enough to entertain.

Just saw a post of someone saying they can’t decide if they miss music festivals or just being young, and when I was young I couldn’t afford music festivals but, tell you what I do actually 100% miss - clubbing.

‘Kay, so… from these comments it sounds like ‘pet deaths’ is the bot farmers new engagement bait du jour. So, fuck those soulless cynical bastards into the sun, and, unless you know the poster, stop liking the posts until they stop or move on to some other (probably equally gross) type of content.

Me: Onion rings and a bottle of wine for the table waiter: white or red? Me, trying to impress my date: whichever onion the chef prefers

HELP! Can I borrow you for 30 seconds? 🥰🌟 We want to track MP donations from people and organisations linked to private healthcare 🚨 AND we want to find out if meetings are happening between our policy makers+representatives from the private healthcare industry🚨 We’re …

So I had the first day out in the new chair! It went great… until my brain was hijacked by a display of tulips and I drove into a bollard. It was more of a boop than a crash, but still. So many witnesses. I had to loudly plead Tulip Fever between the hysterical giggles.

Kimberly-Clark in their FAFO era. 🤣

"sex doesn't belong in YA books" Listen, I learned more about birth control, menstruation, and how to get and give consent to different acts from Tamora Pierce books than I did from my school. There's a huge difference between smut and showing teens what healthy sexuality is.

The new chair arrived! The battery is on charge so first drive is upcoming but it’s here! Squeee! Though I have one gribble - it is perfectly stable, but the way that it looks like it’s going to tip over is STRESSING ME OUT. 😅

I want to be happy about the ceasefire- I just don’t believe US/Israel are going to stick to it. We KNOW how Israel behaves in Palestine, and Trump is a feckless twat with the MO and sticking power of a flu virus. I hope rather than believe. I hope the Iranians keep staying safe (as possible).

True perfection. These incredibly intelligent, driven and well trained people messed about like kids while he was drivelling, then said absolutely nothing. No platitudes, no being polite. Perfection.

Latest iteration - the two reels of pink sewing thread that were on my work table with the binding tape - until I went to put one in the machine. Binding tape was still there. No sign of either reel. *shakes fist at universe*

Can’t be the Noems, the nips are on straight.

A mind-breaking muddle of news this morning: Humans going further than ever before in space and a lunatic president openly threatening war crimes at home. The sublime and the degenerate. Hard to keep it all in your head at once.

No big deal just a solar eclipse as seen from the moon streamed to us here on Earth by astronauts who are farther away from their home planet than any human has ever been

Have just told the Google feedback that everyone of their descision makers should be ashamed of themselves and that I wish anal warts on their shareholders. Just flash fury at being treated like a child. All I wanted to do was turn off the AI search. #Google - it stand by it.

Test drove a powerchair today. It was taller - not much, but enough! Suddenly hips didn’t hurt, I could reach tills. I wasn’t tilting back as much so my voice was clearer & louder. I didn’t feel like a kid, the ‘adults’ talking over my head. And no obnoxious beeping! Every chair should be like that

Happy bank holiday weekend/Festival of Chocolate/Easter weekend to everyone. Today is a great day to get all of your devices out of their cases and give them a good clean. ‘Cause unless you already have a complex, I can guarantee you it’s nasty back there.

When the fantasy books start making the political commentary loud enough for the snoozers in the back row…

Apparently they know about it, it’s fine. Whoot!

One month left to apply: People voting in the upcoming local elections in May can apply for a Voter Authority Certificate, a free form of ID that can be used to vote at a polling station. The Electoral Commission is calling for people to get hold of one if they don't have other photo ID

Suddenly I like Jamie Dornan. Was not expecting that. #thepowerpfpotatorocks

The book I had on pre-order has shipped 5 days early and I am simultaneously excited beyond belief and also peeved for the authors cause I don’t think this was their plan and I know they had plans. Ack. BUT…

If you want to know about my marriage, husband and I somehow spent half an hour listing all the boob descriptors starting with a P, and all the men’s hats starting with a B. The prompt was someone online asserting that Tim Curry wasn’t in fact a Muppet in human form.

I’m ’makes a noise like a small distressed dinosaur whenever I stretch’ years old.

I bought a whole reel of that silicone cord to use to hold stitches and it was a bit stinky so I left it to air. I’ve seen it every time I’ve gone into the kitchen (it’s fluoro yellow, hard to miss!) right up until I needed it and went to grab it. Gone. Disappeared. Into the ether.

I will, forever more, be pronouncing the yogurt as Fadgy. I was all on board with Fa-yay for 10 repeats, but now the feckers have driven me to using my least favourite mouth noise out of pure exasperated spite.

You all have to follow this guy. He photographs shells. But, he sees well enough and captures skilfully enough that the shells start to look like magical cosmic events. And don’t underestimate the joy of a magical cosmic event each day.

They always use the word "brigade" when it's a group of people who disagree with them but who are right. This reads like "House fire is exactly what fire brigade wants" no they have just been telling you not to fry chips while drunk for the last 50 years.

If you ever wanted proof that Streeting is a Tory, his grand plan to reduce NHS waiting lists is, apparently, just stop having waiting lists. Brilliant eh? I don’t think Truss could have done better! Yup, instead of referring you to a specialist, your GP will now spend multiple appointments worth

Ok, so turns out Loctite are way ahead of me.

There needs to be some kind of glue layaway service. You buy a bottle of glue but they send you out a drop of fresh stuff on that one occasion each year that you actually need it. This post is bought to you by a used once and now completely solidified 60ml bottle of Gorilla Glue.

*Overly Niche comment incoming* I never realised it before, but this is exactly the type of “make over” they gave Liverpool for its Capital of Culture Year. (Banished the alt, groomed out the character, smothered everything with shoppable gloss and put a stupid bow on it.)

I keep promising myself I’ll post more about knitting again, but this is my only project currently (I have many UFO’s and even more excuses for not finishing them 😁) and I keep setting milestones for showing it that I still haven’t hit. But here it is now, in all its “slow-crafting“ glory. 🧶

I’m ten minutes in to the The Other Bennet Sister. I don’t like it. I don’t like what they’ve done to the characters. I don’t like the Bridgertonification of the costumes and make up. I don’t like that they do daft crap like comment on having too many people in a half empty ballroom. Ah well.