JESUS CHRIST FIRST TUESDAY OF THE MONTH SIREN JUMPSCARE OF ALL JUMPSCARES

I have had some version of "he wants all of us to be buried with him" in stuff I've written about Trump in the past and usually but not always taken it out. It didn't like looking at it, mostly, but over time it just became one of those things that was too obvious to bother with. It's all sickening.

what if we just show him an AI slop video of Iran-looking stuff exploding and then just send him to the golf course for the day, every day

Man, that FIFA Peace Prize sure was bullshit.

Good champion.

Every human on Earth vibes to "Set Adrift On Memory Bliss"

Kinda on the nose for Solo Ball to hit a solo baller shot like that

Game

I don't love rooting for Michigan but it feels right here

I think we need to consider the possibility that the Brewers somehow stole the Cardinals' Devil Magic in the past couple of years

"Orion, the Moon, and the Earth. EVERYONE, in that picture" - #Artemis II Mission Control.

At 6:07pm CDT, the Orion spacecraft will reach its furthest point from Earth, and the four astronauts on board will all set a new record for being the furthest humans from Earth. You just KNOW that they'll be jostling position inside that capsule to be The One that's actually the furthest. I would.

The Artemis II crew proposed naming a moon crater after Commander Reid Wiseman’s late wife Carroll, who lost her life to cancer 😭

I just know some guy is watching the Artemis broadcast right now asking aloud, "who da heck is dis Al Beedo guyy?"

Some discussion on Artemis II broadcast about how dark the Moon is compared to Earth. Here's a really nice look at the two together from the same camera -- the Moon isn't white, it's dark brown www.planetary.org/space-images...

THIS IS A VERY WEIRD BASKETBALL DAY IN MY FAIR CITY

Can we just have Moon stuff happening all of the time?

BREAKING: The White House schedule, which originally contained an Easter event, is BLANK and an event with Melania and Donald Trump is listed as CLOSED.

never forget when the Easter Bunny sent Teddy Roosevelt to the shadow realm

This appears to be a home game for the Illini

It may not be orange and blue, but Real Ones know the old-school power contained within. (And it fits again, too.) 🔶️🔷️ I - L - L

At this point in the Augusta National Women's Amateur, I think the only golfers out there who can catch Asterisk Talley are Ampersand Bracket or Parenthesis Colon

Trump essentially just yelled the English translation of "Allahu Akbar" while threatening violence. If they don't have the spine to invoke the 25th Amendment, they should at least take away his phone.

You know how bad it is when the sundowning president ACCURATELY dunks on you?

"It's dementia!"

They're actually discussing "known smells" coming from the toilet right now, I am being serious

If I may recommend something to watch tonight that doesn't suck? The live feed of the Artemis crew. They're up and chilling with each other now, as they now are closer to the Moon than they are to Earth.

More like UCan't, amirite Folks

was there a moon before me? i'll never know because I wasn't there

of course Ted Nugent's solution involves teenagers and nudity

Artemis took a picture of us: defector.com/artemis-took...

So, like, make your bed or something today.

Right now, four people are gliding through space at 4,200 miles per hour after being slingshotted to the exact spot where the Moon is going to be in four days, and it was done with such precision that the spacecraft will use the gravitational pull of the Moon to direct itself right back to Earth.

Uh, the ACLU's birthright citizenship spot using "Born in the U.S.A." is freaking inspired and a winner. Do not let consultants nerf that message!

Sure looks like a QLCS heading into Harvard.

Could be a huge night for righty sluggers. [places finger to earpiece] Say what now

Radar-indicated tornado from this cell now

I can't see it, but that HAS to be a tornado forming

The sky is moving in two different directions here

What an absolute douchebag.

kinda rad to learn that Orion could blow my car off the line at a stoplight

The serrano pepper has been one of my chili's semi-secret weapons through two (2) championship cook-offs. 🥇🥇

Serious-looking hook echo on this tornado that'll skirt just south of Iowa City. More of this to come tonight for northern Illinois, it seems.

Noteworthy that the women in the Cabinet - Kristi Noem out, Pam Bondi now out, Tulsi Gabbard on the chopping block - are facing the heat while legit psychos like RFK Jr. & Pete Hegseth and other unqualified, inept dunces like Sean Duffy seem secure for the time being.

it's probably a bad omen for incoming severe storms that all the windows in my house have just fogged up in the last 20 minutes?

Between Bondi and Noem (both of whom deserve to be fired and scorned), it’s a masterclass in why siding with the patriarchy is never a safe bet for women.

That would've been a pretty crappy six days.

From its angled view, GOES-18 also captured the historic launch of Artemis II.

You just say out loud ONE TIME that maybe it's bad that everyone in Cuba on a ventilator died and suddenly it's no more Heritage Foundation coffee klatches for you