I am super Mutually Assured Destruction about it, which is why I have fired all of the nukes.

Hulk Hogan Yoda:

Thumbnail: "Mobster upset cookie has M&Ms instead of regular chocolate chips."

Ah, sweet, the boss nightmarishly stares at you 5000!

@jazzpomegranate.com The Emperor has requested more human high culture promotion from the social media accounts of his subordinates. starwars.fandom.com/wiki/High_Hu...

@ladyemily.nebula.tv Oh no, this is why it doesn't look right!

"We interviewed an EMBALMED MAFIOSO CORPSE?! #prime #lunchly"

Amazon Web Services Yesterday:

People like Tiffany Wheat think they should be declared 5 star michelin chefs because they know how they like their fast food orders.

Healthcare $0 Science $0 Education $0 Housing $0 Suicide Prevention $0 Infrastructure $0 Food Safety $0 Banking Regulations $0 Gun Safety $0 Argentina $40,000,000,000 Abducting Spanish Speakers $45,000,000,000 Climate $0 someone who is good at economy please help me budget this. my country is dying

Ferrari F1 Team circa 2005:

Friends! Do you enjoy... 1: Funny parodies of late stage capitalism. 2: Existential crises when you realize people would actually buy some of these things despite them intentionally being silly parodies? 3: Commitment to the bit? You might want to read this thread and follow this guy, then.

This is a pretty good flowchart.

Gig economy be like:

This is what Shadow The Hedgehog hears in his head as he commits war crimes against Venezuelan fishermen.

@tallbart.com They found the first YTP!

@nytpitchbot.bsky.social You're going to have to go to one fucked up Ohio diner.

guy in 3000 bc: remember when tools were made of stone 🪨 now every thing is bronze 😡 we used to live in cave ⛰️ now we sleep in hut 😪 instead of hunting ox 🐮 we make them pull plow 🌾 who else wish we could go back 😩

When you leave your leftover Hitler in the fridge too long:

@littlekuriboh.bsky.social You ever feel like two different galaxies just collided?

Important point: That's every company. They all want to grow infinitely, and to do that, you need everyone buying your shit. Maybe not right away, but you do. The people doing this don't have an infinite amount of money, and everyone else hates them enough to boycott any brand that kowtows.

@katie.bzky.team The Goombas got Mario.

Sometimes, someone else says what you feel like so well that you have to share it.

Why did you wait until the end of the thread to bust out this banger?

@taradeenihan.bsky.social Ancient Egyptian Hippo Sculpture!

@chrisdeleon.bsky.social I'm gonna play some mario on my playstation.

Ultimate Texas Pick Up Line:

Steven Crowder: "I trained this Jynx to do black face, CHANGE MY MIND."

I want this comic in indie game form one day.

The sick irony of Greenberg's post here is that JD Vance's policies and those of his fuhrer are going to create a hell of a lot more impoverished, drug addicted rural moms. He's going to cause a lot more of that trauma.

@vanoreo.bsky.social Greek Vegeta

@bugsmaytrix.bsky.social Dinosaur Spider-Man marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Pter_Pt...

I watch star wars for the pyrotechnics and light shows and consequence free violence and I'm tired of pretending otherwise. "But junk food entertainme-" Shut the entire hell up. "But philosophically deep and educational-" I SAID SHUT UP! (Shoots lightning from fingers)

Me setting a bush on fire:

Sometimes I wonder why I even go on social media. Other times I discover "Everything We Pizza, We Pizza With Love" and the world is strangely beautiful for one brief moment.

Also, where are they going to get the ammo, food, water, fuel, and soldiers? The occupations of Los Angeles and Washington DC have been complete messes so far with morale in the toilet for the occupiers, AND that's when they can get food, gas, and a place to stay because they're in a city.

POV: You're the Ace Attorney Legal System.

World's coolest toaster:

Holy shit, he's got the zoom app icon labeled "Situation Room"!

The Rush map in the beta's real, real bad. It's making Tom Sawyer real, real sad.

Two games for if you badly want to touch grass but not enough to actually go outside: Proteus and Flower.

@cockremover.bsky.social Me and the boys, out on the town:

Rooster farmer calling for civility at the local county fair:

It should have been called a contamination hearing.

Corporate environmentalism be like:

Female Praying Mantis during mating season:

Me whenever I go on social media while never learning to just go to the associated press website or something:

I'm proud to announce the first cryptocurrency exchangeable for Flanian Pobble Beads. (Arr, this be a joke, landlubber! Also, this disclaimer be a pirate for some reason!)

Rise Of Skywalker: Rey turns out to be a Palpatine, thus a series ostensibly about unlikely heroes rising from nowhere to defeat a massive, fascist empire turns out to actually be about psychic bacteria eugenics and space nepotism.