Tuesday’s @thetimes.com cartoon times.newsprints.co.uk/morten-morla...

No, of course not. Jesus.

Just seen the two Brewdog pubs in Bristol shut forever today with immediate effect. I only thought there was one so that’s doubly good news.

You couldn’t make this up. And if you did, everyone would say it’s too much.

I think all in all, Starmer has done alright with this Iran nonsense.

On the plus side that cartoon Pete Hegseth will be itching to get over to the Middle East for a photo op for his socials and he’ll be shot in the back by six or seven hundred Americans.

This is going to absolutely suck ass.

This new Dr Who is weird.

The morning I literally popped out of the flat to get the ‘paper and ended up going to the Watford v Everton game before ending the day at a party in Chelsea having a fight with a man dressed as Scooby Doo was better planned than this Iran caper.

Seems like good news. I’m away for a pint.

www.thejournal.ie/melania-trum... LOL. Everything is absolutely fucking mad isn’t it?

Looking forward to the Kuwaitis accidentally shooting down the ‘plane bringing the Dubai ex-pats back to London.

She is an absolute raving cunt.

Sun’s out, first pair of summer trainers get an airing.

‘The defence of the oil’ begins.

This all seems frightfully expensive.

Looking forward to Led By Donkeys sorting out all this Iran caper.

Lots of condemnation, but the Starmer actions are a response to the Iranian attacks on civilian structures in the Gulf. For sure its escalation on escalation - and thus generally unwelcome - but in this specific case it is reasonable to help defend civilians outside Iran that are now targeted.

Monday.

No Prime Minister could cope with an actual mad man in The White House, there are no good options.

Starmer's ability to find the exact sweetspot which pisses off everyone is extraordinary. He's a savant.

Fuck them.

Arsenal are going to balls if up, absolutely no doubt in my mind.

Town when Cleese rolls a seven.

Oh Spurs.

Hot and sunny in Bristol tomorrow lads.

Getting quite into cookies lads. Not really featured in my remit until the last few weeks.

Expecting Fulham to get bummed by this terrible Spurs team.

Lad in IKEA having a full on hangover snooze in one of the beds. His wife is fuming.

I don’t think I’d ever heard of Bahrain until yesterday. My Middle East knowledge begins and ends with the song ‘Little Donkey’ I reckon.

Off to IKEA lads. Plot twist - I love it there!

He’s looking well anyway.

Ticket for the Fulham cup game next Sunday lads. 6 of us from school going the match together for the first time since we were in the third division. So the kick off is at midday of course. And the District Line is closed. So I’ll probably just sack it off on the day. #fuckoffEverton

Oh Kelly Osborne. Someone help her out.

I like this Marc Bolan / Jarvis Cocker lad.

Hearing that Rio Ferdinand has merced someone.

Just say no kids!

Has Tim Burgess had a facelift?

Good Lord. I would buy that Dua Lipa a pint of mild at The Grapes.

Whisper it by Winehouse wasn’t much of a singer.

Songwriter of the year hasn’t written a new song this year.

Scumbag Gillespie getting some screen time.

Thought that was Steve Coogan on the piano.

Have ended up playing some Happy Mondays to the child and she’s dead keen. Quite a turn up for the books.

What’s happening?

Pop stars seem dead boring these days.

The child knew all of those songs which was quite nice.

‘Barry Can’t Swim’? *fills hot water bottle*

This woman is in the nip!