YUUURRRS! No idea.

Few things can cheer me as much as this banger popping up on a shuffle of my liked songs.

I call on my party and my government to remove themselves entirely from X and communicate with the public where they actually participate online and can be protected from such illegality.

@fulhamfc.com do the same

Howling at the woman on the BBC news just now in St Ives saying how terrible it was as a lad walked past her on the way to the pub and a wave hit the harbour at high tide. “We’re hiding in the van from the storm and it’s rocking slightly.”

Christ the wind has arrived in Bristol unexpectedly and it’s bin night. Off out to tie down my #cans

Hearing Semenyo has actually just retired from football and is working in marketing from Monday.

Arsenal are going to make a shite of this.

Fuck all farmers.

He’s done it again, unstoppable political gamesmanship.

Sat at my desk listening to CMAT again lads.

This is a very sad read. Totally understandable emotions as well.

It’s annual appraisal time here lads.

No one in this country needed this to be made.

Got pissed the other night and about £500 worth of Lego has just arrived at ours. No idea. So I’ll spend the afternoon sending that back.

Oh the Ev!

Harry Wilson is ACE

My mate lasted 15 minutes at the Fulham game but has gone home as it’s too cold. Got to respect that.

BourneLOLZ more like.

Everton fans crying it in on genuinely Olympic levels on here today. And I love it!

Good heavens.

Just seen that Reform have picked that absolute horror to run for Mayor of London. She’ll probably win as well because of Essex and Kent voters all being vile racists. The cunts.

Supposed to be having a meeting with a lad now but he’s just cancelled as he’s ’not feeling centred’. Sensational stuff.

Going to fly off the shelves in Ireland.

Who’s this cunt now?

Fuck it, I’m off to buy some nice biscuits.

‘Hale knew, before he had been in Brighton three hours, that they meant to murder him. Probably just by the Pret A Manger that is now doing hot mac and cheese for £5.50.’

It’s like watching The World At War these days.

Starmer should just reply to every question with, “go on then you cunt, what would you do?” Just for the LOLZ. I think we should invade Greenland with them. Cards on the table, looks like an easy win to me.

Jarrod Bowen having a terrible time at Man Utd next year is absolutely nailed on.

We’re such a little bitch of an island of shit.

LOL

Working Girl just started on Comedy Central lads. Best opening shot ever?

Scalded my hand doing my hot water bottle lads.

The seating plan at the West Ham stadium is baffling for this observer.

We might need Our Brave Boys here for when the United States Marine Corp are marching through the streets of Sussex.

Chilly out lads.

“They’ve got a proven history of acting the cunt and we couldn’t be bothered dealing with them. Now get your knickers on and make me a cup of tea.”

Do they mean half eight here?

Lost another hour of my life looking at rocking chairs lads. Defo getting one for my new office though.

Had food poisoning a while ago and awoke in need of immediate evacuation. In an attempt not to wake the house I decided to use the downstairs toilet. Got to the top of the stairs, fainted, somersaulted all the way down. Bit the tip off my tongue but other than that, not a bump.

Latest update on ‘Rachel from Accounts’ killing the high street.

Self-important bellend.

FTSE 100 CEOs earn more than average worker’s yearly pay by noon on 6 January

I reckon if Starmer could sort out the fast forward and rewind speed on the iPlayer he’d sweep the next election with an even higher majority.

New manager of Man Utd needs to tell Fergie to fuck off home and stay there.

He’s going to run for President I reckon.

How’s your January back at work going? I’ve just eaten and entire Terrys Chocolate Orange.