One day kiddos, you will be 43, and you'll feel young, and beautiful, and powerful. You know the hip lingo that your niblings use. You use people's preferred pronouns. You boycott Starbucks. You are with it. And that same day, IG will try and sell you these panties and your soul will leave your body

This Holiday Season, when your friends and family ask if you bought any skateboards or any shirts with rabbits on them at the dinner table, you can tell them yes. Yes I have. SHOP NOW: devolver.link/4qbb3WK

"Sorry I'm late, I got stuck behind this Waymo for a long while."

Welp, almost ruined my family Christmas party & a dear family member's sobriety because I completely forgot that extracts often have alcohol. I'm glad I checked. If you do the family cooking/baking for the holidays, please consider this your reminder to omit this stuff. There are alternatives.

The fact that my mom didn't raise me to be Hannah Waddingham is actually quite fucking rude.

We're putting up the Christmas tree and my husband said "This won't work without a specific spare bulb," and I ran to my junk drawer and immediately whipped it out. Hello. I'm the Dad now.

"A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved." -Kurt Vonnegut Happy Birthday Vonnegut, to us all.

Off of work and OOO today and I accidentally deleted the Slack app with my armpit and just...

I have tasted the sandwich that was lobbed at my bulletproof vest and which you probably spent your hard-earned money on forgive me it smelled delicious so onion-y so mustard-y

According to my gas station guy, "no one feels very Halloween this year," and yeah, that's accurate.

While driving out of my neighborhood, there was a witch hat dead-center in the road, sitting perfectly upright. I thought it was a trap, but I can't help but wonder if I missed a big adventure.

From 1 to 10, she's a Certified 20.

Sending my freshman to school tomorrow with a Hotline Miami lanyard for his new school ID, because that's all I could find. #motheroftheyear

"And they were roommates."

I just cracked one of the funniest jokes of my life in the family group chat and I keep looking at the laugh reacts and now I understand why dudes all think they need a podcast.

Hey, between you and me - if you do refund Borderlands 4 and "play a different game" please know that Mycopunk is just $15.

Hey, go work with some really awesome people.

On a plane and I just had to choose between watching Paddington 2 and The Princess Bride and I feel like I just told my dogs which one of them is my favorite.

America heartbroken to discover president somehow still alive

So, @vben.bsky.social asked me who this is and the @harris.zone Bullying Alliance is formally ended.

Slinging these bad babies all weekend, come snag one!

Inscryption Trading Card Pack 3 is live on the Devolver Merch Shop! Each pack features the same 12 cards - 8 regular cards and 4 holo-cards to please Leshy.

I asked my kiddo to help me find a travel-size face moisturizer and they handed me this. So, I have a 17yo up for adoption, if anyone's interested.

My husband and I just showed our dog an IG reel of a batch of puppies on our phones so she didn't think the puppies were real and get scared.

I'm angry that Washington DC just became a martial law zone and is sweeping up and detaining the unhoused *AND* I'm angry that this forced me to Google a teen named Big Balls.

Dang, Kristi Noem has been so terrible lately, I almost forgot she was also a dog murderer.

Extremely sad news about @stephencolbert.bsky.social A man whose voice never shakes when calling out the powerfully wrong, who tackles social justice issues with thoughtfulness & grace, & who does it all while giving us some chuckles in a harsh world. You are gonna make it, through this year.

Give. The. Baby. In. The. Bear. An. Emmy.

It's 2025, and there are bigger problems, but I remain deeply unsettled by how many traffic jams were depicted in The Jetsons.

Ted Cruz, who was out of the country until this morning, just posted this No mention of his name. He says "twenty cookies. " She wrote "Tweety Cookies, famously named for Tweety Eastland, director of Camp Mystic. he didn't even get good Tupperware The self-owns from this man are rather incredible

trans rights are a winning issue. ending the genocide in palestine is a winning issue. rent reduction, free transit, lower cost of groceries. these are the things the average person can get behind, yet the democrats refuse to acknowledge it

HELL YES, NYC!!! KEEP IT UP!

Dark humor, unmitigated rage. That is it. That's all I've got right now.

Welp.

Austin absolutely showed up today. #NoKings

You know how in movies the evil villain spends all his time talking about his evil plan before enacting it? "I can't believe he's done this!" Anyways, it's all there. Everything we're currently horrified about. All there. This is the Evil Villain Speech. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project...

The absolute fucking cowardice of going after children in schools.

one does not awaken of a summer morning expecting to say "we stan Glendale," and yet...we stan

Volvy is For All-vy!

We're donating 100% of proceeds from our Y'all Means All merch to Trans Lifeline, a non-profit offering direct support to trans people in crisis. Get good Devolver shit, & support the trans community. US: merch.devolverdigital.com/collections/... Elsewhere: merch.devolverdigital.co/collections/...

Give the photographer the Pulitzer Prize

Hotline for Immigrant Law Defenders: 213-833-8283 Legal representative line for CHIRLA (Coalition for Humane Immigrant Rights of Los Angeles): 213-201-3797 ACLU Rapid Response Hotline for LA County: 888-624-4752

I just put dry rub on a large hunk of meat and I wasn't wearing black latex gloves and somewhere 40 male Internet chefs just vomited in anger.

I Klarna'd three steak fajita burrito bowls with extra guac in anticipation of my DOGE check, to whomst do I lodge a complaint?

God damn, today is just delicious.

Babysat my cousin's 2yo and he fell asleep in the grocery cart at the store and got carried to the car and then got tucked into his couch bed with a soft blanket and nuggies to watch a movie and he has light-up shoes and it hit me... I am extremely fucking jealous of this baby. HOW DARE HE.

In our house We love it when the rice cooker sings We hate it when the washer sings Can't explain it, but we all agree

"Oh dang! When we get home, we gotta make scorpion repellent." --Me, to my husband on the way home from a very nice dinner.