Replacing Rosie Perez dancing in the opening credits of Do the Right Thing with Kid Rock in those little cutoffs to stick it to woke.

But Trump said we’ve stopped all the immigrants from coming in now? You know, the ones who were taking all our jobs. Weird. www.thedailybeast.com/layoffs-unde...

The Epstein emails should really end the debate over whether society should have billionaires. "Do you want there to be a class of people so powerful they can fuck your kids and no one will even try to do anything" seems like an easy sell if everyone in politics wasn't trying to get on their payroll

“Not at all” For people out here believing Homan is some sort of savior, and acting like anything anyone in this regime says can be counted on

To be remembered this way. Boers and Bernstein was literally the funniest radio show in Chicago and it was a sports show. RIP to damn legend. youtu.be/Ear3mq7pb8s?...

Just started doing new data analysis and I know I keep saying this, but: I really, really don't think people appreciate how much this moral panic was a deliberate and extremely expensive invention.

I keep reposting this article, but statistically and historically it's basically a given.

ICE sucks so bad that CBS doesn’t even have a prime time drama about it

these are.... confessions

This is just like how I won Best Stand-up in The Chicago Reader in 2011

You are now legally allowed to read garfbert.com

JUST NOW: Rep. @brotherjones.bsky.social arrives at the start of the new Tennessee legislative session with a huge “ABOLISH ICE” flag

Gavin Newsom has terrible political instincts. Cozying up to racists like Charlie Kirk. Attacking trans kids. Defending billionaires. When left to his own devices he always picks the wrong path.

I heard his Dogbert found the body

this was also consensus opinion for center-right types after george floyd’s murder five years ago. the state media apparatus will be working overtime the next few weeks to reprogram them

Have already done a brief run through photos/videos from Chicago to see if we happen to spot the agent who killed someone in Minneapolis today. Don't think we recognize him in any footage, but there's more to comb through. If you believe you recognize him, our Signal is unraveled.66.

Here's a tracker of all the people (40) ICE has shot, including someone celebrating New Years by shooting his gun who was killed by an off-duty ICE goon. www.thetrace.org/2025/12/immi...

"You gonna murder someone else? You can't kill us all, Nazis."

Starting a podcast where I scream the r word because I care about the first amendment while I justify state murder for protesting ICE

Abolish ICE is the new floor if any democrat wants my vote

The US currently has a bigger wealth gap than during the fucking Gilded Age if any other country wants to bomb us and install a new regime. Fair's fair.

@lataco.bsky.social is offering 50% off an annual subscription today only. I don't really promote any other products but this one is worth supporting because they do such important work here on the ground in LA/SoCal. For $25, it's a BARGAIN! lataco.com/products

"We surveyed one hundred people. Top five answers are on the board. Name a celebrity who is burning in hell."

Erika Kirk taking the TPUSA stage

The 6-7 thing makes me weep for the future. In my day we spent our time on the playground discussing important things like Richard Gere’s ass gerbils while holding our hands up to our faces to see if we had aids.

Schumer received the 7th-most amount of money from military contractors last election cycle. On Wednesday, Schumer voted to authorize $901 billion in military spending. www.stephensemler.com/p/senate-vot...

Pretty smart of Amazon not to show the teams’ records. Keeps you lost. Pushes new fans away. Great at everything company.

The male loneliness epidemic explained truthfully: the patriarchy lied to you. It only exists to uplift a few powerful men. (It intersects w/white supremacy too.) For you & for most men, it’s a series of rules that keep your life small & keep your attitude something women don’t wanna be around.

I heard Billy Bob Thornton doesn’t touch his Boxmasters money.

"AI is simply a tool." - a tool

Marjorie Taylor Greene watching Mamdani cuck Trump

I was on Subway Takes and they never aired it because I said Jesse Welles was a CIA op

I mostly watch sports to hear men describe other men as long.

This is an official BlueSky team response to a CSA victim complaining about BlueSky banning Patton Oswalt for saying "Wood chipper. Feet First' regarding Megyn Kelly's defense of CSA and Jeffrey Epstein.

I'm seeing people wonder why ICE is going after Charlotte. ICE has been at war with Charlotte's sheriff ever since he won in 2018. We'd covered this at Bolts back in the day; this quote is from that sheriff:

Did Underage Girls Ruin Politics? Tomorrow in the @nytimes.com

Tax advice. #TheJoeRoganExperience

Ghislaine got a puppy this year.

What liberals don’t understand is a lot of Trump supporters are in church every Sunday so they’re totally ok with supporting pedophiles.

Instead of telling people my age I just say how many times the Democratic Party has radicalized me.

Bob Kuttner's latest on the shutdown is brutal on the Senate Cave Caucus. He also has some reporting on the House, where nearly all Democrats will oppose this and maximize pressure on Mike Johnson to find the votes. prospect.org/2025/11/10/d...

I try to never give advice to younger comics but if you want evergreen material 1) personal stories about your family 2) the Democratic Party caving to Republicans.

The 8 Dems who surrendered: @SenAngusKing @timkaine @SenCortezMasto @JohnFetterman @SenatorDurbin @SenatorHassan @SenatorShaheen @SenJackyRosen

Just SCREAMING at their voters "do not mobilize for us, it is a waste of your time and energy"

So @schumer.senate.gov really thinks we don’t understand that he orchestrated this by getting senators not up for re-election to vote yes?

This is so insane. #MedicareForAllNOW

They caved in March so they could get a better deal now. They’re caving now so they can get a better deal in some indeterminate future. The better deal is always just beyond their reach, but continuing to cave will get them there. And if you don’t agree with that, you don’t understand Politics,