Tweet version of this sketch: youtu.be/NBGOryiqZZI?...

Utter nonsense. Not even a foul. #HEAvCEL

Lots of numpties retweeting the misleading Green chart will also have been championing the criminalise politicians lying idea.

When you’re considering Trump, you have to always consider what would be the single dumbest thing, not just a random dumb thing.

You may think this Board of Peace thing is a way to pay Trump bribes, and it is, but because that’s not maximally stupid I think the actual purpose is to give Trump a Board of Peace Prize.

They either the stupidest people in the world, or they think their voters are.

T T T TACO!

If European nations acquiring territories is fine and dandy, what was Hamilton all about!?

Real cancel culture.

coalition of the will you shut the fuck up

Can't believe there has been another attempt on Trump's life.

Respect ma authoritah!

Deutsche Bank here with the good stuff. Game on.

Absolute bullshit yellow card. #GLAvSAR

Reform have recruited which means they don’t get to murder tonight

Imagine Sky attached a hardcore porn channel to its standard family package, rolling it out to all present subscribers and explained it was fine because Sky weren't the only platform on which people could access the content. That's the argument Grok is trying to make right now.

I don’t think people realise how awful it is in Ukraine right now. Yesterday my friend posted how it’s -9 and because of the power cuts - due to Russian attacks - she has no heating. This is in Kyiv. And this is the day after a mass missile & drone strike killed four people.

So ludicrous is the Grok X situation that no media outlets will publish the images as that would be illegal but it’s grand for it to be on grok and x

Starting to look like we called the American Civil War early.

In one day, Farage has been antisemitic, pro-Putin, and confirmed he's an anti-vaxxer. It's obviously humiliating for Labour that they're trailing this person and his fellow travelers in the polls, but the longer he stays there, the more embarrassing it becomes for the whole nation.

"Human failure" for the govt not to overturn centuries of an independent judiciary to force the courts to grant bail to people who swing sledgehammers ar people.

Blackadder Goes Forth.

Who’s who at X, the deepfake porn site formerly known as Twitter. Featuring illustrations by Grok, because “pixels 🟰 zero harm” apparently. www.ft.com/content/ad94...

"Who's who at X, the deepfake porn site formerly known as Twitter". The Financial Times reports on career role models on and around the blurred boundaries of media, technology, sex and the enterprising transnational criminal networks of Musk & co www.ft.com/content/ad94...

Hi, I'm twin outboard RIB, being driven over the top of me.

The English don't half do some strange things.

It's not the main benefit of post-Brexit rapprochement with Brussels, but watching the reaction of these numpties will be fun!

There is "no less an authority" than that of former PM. That's how our system works.

Rob Reiner: I'm going to make a coming of age drama, a fantasy adventure story, a romantic comedy, a psychological horror and then a courtroom drama. Us: Across your entire career? Reiner: In a 6 year period. Us: That sounds- Reiner: -Each one will be arguably the best movie in that genre.

Sickening news from Sydney.

Reports of a mass shooting at Bondi Beach, Sidney, at or near a Hanukkah event which was taking place on the beach. I have seen videos of two men in black shooting down to the beach, but I'm not sure if those are the assailants or LEO. Reports of many casualties.

I better win something.

Brutal attack on the decision to leave the EU from the leader of the L̶i̶b̶e̶r̶a̶l̶ ̶D̶e̶m̶o̶c̶r̶a̶t̶s̶ Conservatives.

I didn't think a US World Cup would be able to top Diana Ross's "penalty" for embarrassment, but here we are.

This is awful. ⚽️

"If I'd known I'd have to sit through an hour of Gianni Infantino I'd have just played a square ball" - Kieran Tierney

The Trump Peace Prize isn't even in the top ten worst things FIFA have done in the last 10 years. Get over yourselves.

I liked Jamie's Italian. And the critics are wrong about Mrs Brown's Boys. There, I said it.

The headline, the main takeaway from a European viewpoint is this: The transatlantic relationship as we know it is over. Yes, we kinda knew this. But this is now official US White House policy. Not a sppech, not a statement. The West as it used to be no longer exists.

Truly shocking that Rachel Reeves had the audacity to call herself the U14 girls chess champions when she won the U14 girls chess championship but some bloke thought she was talking about something else.

Not to be all dramatic, but this will now mean my cancelling my subscription.

In 2005, we definitely knew that was a racist term.

Innovative twist on the standard "things you like are actually bad." Chapeau!

I don't think men outside the standard definition of at-risk should be getting regular tests for prostate cancer, privately or through their GP, and this should be mentioned more frequently when highlighting cases of public interest.

Yippikayay, Charlie Brown.

The audacity. 4-2. No Scotland, no party!

My column this week: on the 'infernal circle' in immigration policy and Labour's muddled and uncertain attempt to get out of it:

I appreciate I am a lily-livered pinko, but if the problem is pull factors attracting people to the UK, can we not, in some small way, make a positive of that?