putting on some hand lotion before i snap my beans

chicago pope has the chance to do something that is so funny. in fact doing such a funny thing would be a great commercial for the church

isaac chotiner has to register his tweets as a deadly weapon in 17 states

opening a burger joint called MarkDaniel’s and our mascot will be Grimace with no changes

biscuits is being a little bathtub weirdo currently licking the shower curtain and purring loudly

likely thing for ham family to say

hey east coast go look at your deep red crescent moon looming over the horizon

wuthering heights but heathcliff is a dracula

this trump administration is bent on turning high school assistant principals into John Brown

re: roblox dude's interview crashout. the thing he wants to say but can't is "at scale, kids are gonna get hurt. that is the price for scale." the thing nobody wants to say out loud is "maybe scaling to a level where harm isn't manageable is bad, and scale should be contained"

the more i think about it the more it is so disrespectful that jd vamce allows himself to be photographed without his girdle. civilians should not be subjected to the undulations of our elected officials torsos

baby is throwing WOODEN LEMON up and down the hallway

thinking of the insane luck of the relative handful of people who’ve made it with bonnie raitt

ahhHH i found jacob elordi’s bag when i was reading huffpo

wasted so much time in my life listening to radiohead when i could have been listening to Bonnie Raitt

i don’t want to downplay anything bad that happened to people in charlotte but that Uh Was Fast

unless an angel stole his soul and stored it in an innocent child’s body to hide him from satan so he couldn’t have dick cheney as chief strategist in The War Between Heaven and Hell

i love her nd i know she will miss my xompamy. but my bitch wife will never let us ve happy

thinking of the insane luck of the relative handful of people who’ve made it with bonnie raitt

tummy hort

i wonder if any relation to Frank Kitchen

getting a t shirt printed that says ‘i tried to impress my boss by starting the RACE WAR but all i got was my maserati impounded by the federal government’

APAB FOREVER

Livvy Grant Jailbait EP song titles: Jail Bait Canker Sore In School Detention (ISD) Email My Heart * Sorry to Break the Nuzz (Ta-Ta, Goodbye) Guess You Caught Me Redhanded (Twice) fea. Ludacris *with permission from Jive Records

juh juh juh jailbait

this woman was clearly raised by wolves

that’s okay pam bondi has retroactively signed off on all related documents 👍

that’s a HOOF

pulaski needs to stop being so prejudiced against data. where does she get off

if you don’t have worms you better go get worms!!!

maybe basic bitches are smart people

asked O out for drinks after our 2nd mtg. said she had a headavjke think i might cut off all contact…

eric adams: international man of ????

guillermo del toro is like if francis ford coppola could go to work without hurting small animals

why is he adding a ballroom to the white house. what’s he gonna do in there? dance? like a girl?

The Taste of Charlotte (NC)

desert washed and windswept, she smiled wryly behind her oversized sunglasses: “The Heart is a Lonely Hunter,” she stated seriously, yet with a touch of impetuousness. one gets the sense that perhaps the novel of her life has yet to finish, for she is firm and ripe as a peach at an athletic 32 yea

i just cried for five minutes when i found out there is an eric carle museum of picture book art in amherst massachusetts. what is wrong with me lol

NYT: Retired Florida Politician had Unique Approach to Constituent Services

so grown women are too childish to have jobs but little girls are mature enough to have 50 year old boyfriends 👍

what we must do is simply ban all men from politics for 500 years

protect????? lauren👁️👁️???? boebert???????????

lauren boebert might, more than most congressmen, empathize with the position of the epstein/trump victims, closer to them in status and age too

airhorn noise

Dilute! Dilute! Not OK!

he ran an underage modeling agency and an underage beauty pageant; trump was procurement and epstein was client-facing

its not wrong to want keanu to be happy but i also wanted to turn off the first John wick when the puppy died

Died my hair, short at the time, blue and got told I looked like "a mouldy handburger"

if you want me to vote for you show me see your vat of rejuvenation goo