im at that age where my flashlight just be on sometimes

breaking news: a stranger/local hero just showed me his dog!! held out through the car window !!! it was a lil greyhound-esque green bean of a dœg wearing a sweater !

whoever invented quesadillas was cooking

the world isn't ready for retirement home polycule drama

i can’t help that i learned all my social manors from the princess diaries

The right wing want us to weep for their deaths while they laugh at ours, and they become incoherent with rage when we refuse to obey.

im my own demons and simultaneously bff.

i’d take a slowly buffering youtube over ads any day

Keeping seeing people my age or older ranting about protecting kids from online dangers while spouting the most toxic and extreme online conspiracy theories

what is blood, if not sauce

has anyone made a sex toy version of those 90s water sleeve aquariums things that everyone with a penis has (unsuccessfully) tried to fuck at least once in their life whether they'll admit it or not? feel like it'd make a killing.

hey my name is trey i have a basketball game tomorrow

tell ya what, frozen uncrustables arent what i thought they’d be

whoa, babe you feeling ok? you havent even touched your Used Cereal

Vibe check!

“so anyway, what’s that dump truck run on? diesel?” -me, flirting w an absolutely caked up hottie

polly pocket clothes, iykyk

I'm a black trans woman fighting poverty and homelessness. To support myself, I set up a patreon where you can get access to all my recipes, poetry, artwork and photography for just £5. Something new EVERY SINGLE DAY. You won't regret it. http://patreon.com/fightingpride93

overheard yte men, biking: gentle-guy #1: “dude, where do you get these numbers?” dude in question, #2: “you know you can just make shit up, right?”

fantasy baseball here we go

reality show concept where toxic straight men think its a dating show and all the women are just licensed therapists

STAIRS ONLY HAVE TO GET LUCKY ONCE. MCCONNELL HAS TO GET LUCKY EVERY TIME

Whenever I think of Elon fixing anything with DOGE I remember when those kids were stuck in a cave and his plan was to build little metal coffins for them and call someone a pedophile. Behold! Your intellectual god is among you!

Happy National Girls and Women in Sports Day 💜 Here's to the athletes who inspire us today and the next generation who will push the game even further! #NGWSD2025

and if that ain’t

what is the meaning of life, if not enduring more and more moments just so you can call-back to them as a ✨bit✨ time will tell

We're all just out here trying to live 😳 #NWSL #WNBA #Unrivaled

and a secret special goodnight to anyone trapped in a liminal space, we’re on our way to get you were five minutes out. just don’t pay attention to the creature in the corner, it’ll all be fine and he’s not even that scary that’s just Jared - he just likes to chill, he’s a chill guy

1. make bathroom stall doors open OUT 😤 2. put women’s names on the bottom of the jersey

can always trust my snarky weather app to twist the knife 💔

pre. cisely. my guy

fuck this shit

but fr though, trauma-bonded nurses will fuck your shit up… and tinktonk is all they really gave us for covid. nah dont get me started

donny sucks -> what ima call drumpf this whole residency

alright, i’m off like a prom dress…

me, rn, listening to music and lurking on a group chat hang

NO SHADE OTHER BLONDE LADY BUT WHERE’S HOLLY

women’s sports y’all. its the magic mike for the gays (me)

cheerleaders…(hear me out…😌) at unrivaled games. for womyn empowerment obvi 😏✨🫡

oops im leslie and the american healthcare system is my pit

love how you can NOT have unlaminated paper in patient care areas (fair, valid) but you CAN have a raised planter box full of rocks where staff eat. iykyk

gifs are one of the best things to happen for office humanity in the past decade

is it being a sensitive younger sister or is it being non-binary and curious to learn more about cis-male internal spaces

gotta be safe at all times 🔑

major 🔑 alert

happy chok-full-o-nutz november to all who celebrate 🫵💋