I don’t know how old Geena Davis is but she can still fuckin get it

If your wrist cant fit in the Pringles can you must forfeit the remaining Pringles to someone with more slender wrists

happy memorial day

You know how Frankenstein be dead dickin you?

Got that dog* in me *chilli dog** **eleven chilli dogs

I said she had “Family Guy pussy lips”

You know who’s got a big cock is horses

How suicidal are you? On a scale of “ideation” to “don’t leave me alone with a knife”

Howard Pussy Lovecraft

I’m so hollow, man, I end a bang with a whimper

I’m so hollow, man, I end a bang with a whimper

A good way to stop caring about declining birth rates is to get some fucking pussy

You come at a giraffe you best have ups

They should make an action movie about the Swiss guard and they’re fucking people up with halberds in those goofy ass outfits for two hours.

This is like when both Coreys were in The Lost Boys!

Oh shit, Bill Paxton AND Bill Pullman are both in this fucking movie?

I’m not worried about the straight of Hormuz; I’m worried about how that straight whore moves (away from me at rapid speed)

Fat Shady, an Eminem tribute act who weighs 300 lbs.

What’s weirder, that Fox McCloud’s name is Fox or that Fox Mulder’s name is Fox? I know Fox McCloud is a fox, but what if Mulder’s name was Human Mulder? That would be weirder, wouldn’t it?

john jacob jingleheimer thick

Historian of abolition here, history tells us how we got here, to put it succinctly “John Brown was hanged for treason and Robert E. Lee was not.”

The Big Short? Is that a movie about my dick?

The things that sucked the same amount sucked at a time when my back didn’t hurt as much and I had more energy

The thing about nostalgia is some things used to suck less.

Mixtape made me feel sad about being old

Ooooh he rigglin’

Tried to make Eggs Benedict for my wife on Mother’s Day and god damn is that a meal with a high degree of difficulty

Catch 22? I woulda caught a lot more than that

Canonically, the Minions are responsible for the Holocaust

i'd let my children hang out with doc brown i don't give a fuuuuuuck what those little bastards do to the past not my business

Walking out of Oppenheimer like “he do be am becoming death though, for real”

I bet Columbo’s dick game is craaaaazy

@drode.bsky.social my first car was a delta 88

They should make a woke Gallagher

Everybody got that one friend who am legion

I bet Shrek got a thick ass penis

They should put a Time Machine in every movie. I don’t give a fuck

I was thinking about what the worst Nirvana song is and I think it’s the Devo cover from Incesticide

miniaturisation is a scam by Big Small to sell more less

You contain multitudes? Cool story, bro. Me too.

Jesus, the OG sad white boy

I have, nor desire, any context for this

MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU!

has anyone shown alanis morissette how to use the side of a spoon in a sawing motion

Watching the Hulk Hogan Netflix doc and remembering how glad I am that that Nazi fuck is dead

I ain’t crispin but I’ll glove her

That’s some nerd shit, bro. Stop being a nerd.