i’m gonna be honest. i don’t really “get” comedy.

gluten free pretzels are da truth

waymo?? wish it could be wayless more like

there’s a waymo epidemic

playing house music on the beach until people dance

apparently everyone except for me knew that bruno mars was a million kabillion dollars in debt

look at my alma mater dog (they posted something about drake on the official athletics inst*gr*m account)

sometimes a sister can be like a brother

do they still make music videos?

why is michael cera like that? 😂

my team and i started chain chewing gum at work due to the stress #girlbossconfessionsafterdark

rutabaga

why did cops choose blue?? don’t they know that’s the same color as the democrats 🤣

let’s go mets baby love da mets

the true test is if your supermarket has the tortillas with the breads or in the international section

pearl had to go to the emergency vet for the first time ever today

hey 👋 I'm that PM from work who sends last minute meeting invites for 8am. scheduling a group this big is tough, haha, appreciate the flexibility! looking forward to seeing everybody online bright and early, just in time for me to cancel the meeting at 7:55

(chewing ice cubes) compliments to the chef!!!!!!!!

rice doesn’t expire #funfact

just remembered i’m obsessed with this song and listened to it 6 time within an hour

i was gonna ask everyone their fave millennial song bc i’m trying to make an indie pop playlist and so far all i have are 2 belle and sebastian songs and yoshimi battles the pink robots pt 1

dads love to put air in your tires

suuuuun cityyyy

i would dance and be merry life would be a dingleberry

the butchie the bakie the candie stick makie

charlotte is one of the worst places i could ever imagine

too many ppl are asking about my jacket

When the moon is in the Seventh House And Jupiter aligns with Mars Then peace will guide the planets And love will steer the stars This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius

my dad is blasting john petrucci and i can’t hear shit!!!!!!

going kid mode on a road trip with my parents this weekend and their hellion dog

apparently ppl h8 KAT on some platforms

target audience reached

bleak leak

oh dogs are as smart as a 3 yr old human baby??? well my dog is as smart as a 4 yr old human baby.

when someone famous has a weird nose that’s okay but when i have a weird nose it’s bad??????

i can’t believe i had to work today the day charli releases a new single

i saw some passion flowers this morning if u even care

it’s cozy time ‼️⏰🫵

my b vitamin complex is more of a girls girl than caffeine will ever be

i could spot space grotesk from anywhere

i don’t think u should put expired food in the community fridge

yeah i’m watching the met gala

feeling extremely vindicated for having never seen or read harry potter

i have the most american disease ever “oh if i eat too many vegetables i get the worst stomachache in the history of the world”

i’ve never seen star wars

sometimes i’ll be like oh my gosh. i just remembered….I HAVE TO EAT MY COLORS

My boss tells me what to do even though we're both equally adults.

what would be playing on an old pair of desktop computer speakers either the myscene theme song (youtu.be/7cWrWMitGho?...) or shoes or hamster dance

you’d have to pay me to go on a cruise

i loooove the feeling of getting into a hot car!!!!!! idk why dogs and babies complain about it so much :/