HAPPY FRIDAY, NEW YORK!!! TODAY IS A BRIGHT, AND LOVELY DAY, MINUS THE COLD. MAKE SURE YOU ALL KEEP YOUR BEANIES ON TODAY, AND DRESS FOR THE OCCASION! REMEMBER: IF ANY WALL-CRAWLING MENACES NAMED SPIDER-MAN ASK YOU FOR A SCARF, OR A HOT COFFEE... SAY NO!!! HE BELONGS ON THE STREETS!!!!

❝ Oh! The Daily Bugle is back, how—... Ah—❞

Jonah, we really shouldn't be posting such sensationalist news. We need readers, yes- but being extremist isn't the way of going about it. There are real stories out there. Just look at Urich's desk. Reel it in.

// Jameson: This won’t come back to haunt me probably

“ Hey I might be yer eyes in the sky but I ain't no Hater. . . Has anyone ever told you your mustache looks like Hit--” -- Gets Fired -- “ Well shiet. ”

#RELEASE(Osborn)FILES!

............................

“ WHOAAAAAA HEY HOLD ON A SECOND WHAT WAS THAT LAST COMMENT THERE!?! ”

UHHH... NEXT QUESTION!

Wow. That sure is a huge plot twist than any of M. Night Shamalan's movies.

” Hi Ma! Oh wait she's dead ..also how Am I talkin' through a newspaper? Anyway! Clear skies from Chopper 616 JJ! Now back t' ya in the studio ” { I guess this is a thing now? Sure! Lmao }

A BUNCH OF BALONEY. BALONEY, I TELL YA. MAC GARGAN DID IT TO HIMSELF!!! AS FOR THE SPIDER-SLAYERS, I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM- BUT I MUST SAY, THEY'RE DOING A FINE JOB! KEEP THE ARACHNIDS OUT OF NEW YORK!!! GO BACK HOME TO SPACE WHERE YOU BELONG!

BREAKING NEWS: THE OSBORN FILES. WHAT THE HELL. FORMER CEO AND FOUNDER OF OSCORP, NORMAN OSBORN, RECENTLY DECEASED, LEAKED SECRET FILES OF ALL HIS INNER DEALINGS WITH CRIMINALS, CONSPIRATORS AND ALL AROUND BAD NOODLES. THIS LIST INCLUDES THE LIKES OF: MAYOR WILSON FISK, HERMAN SCHULTZ, AND

I'LL KILL YOU, MICHAEL MOUSE IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO ON THIS GOD FORSAKEN EARTH!!!

HEY WHAT THE FUCK?

{Casually Leaks Names of several illegal involvements regarding the Fisk foundation to the Bugle mid interview} ( @dailybuglenews.bsky.social )

breaking news: Fuck

Wears a #VoteFisk2026 jacket, courtesy from @henchmansarcasm.bsky.social.

BREAKING NEWS: FORMER TERRORIST, FELICIA HARDY DEFENDS ARACHNID-MENACE-RACIST, SPIDER-MAN.

YOU CAN TELL WE'VE BEEN OUT OF THE GAME FOR A WHILE... GAHAHA- (LEEDS, YOU'RE FIRED!!!) ... HAHAHA.

#Queekisms Kas you do know that by reviving that account you’ve basically started a forever war with me right? It’s a principles thing. Even if I am retired.

ROBBIE I CAN ALREADY HEAR THE QUARTERS RACKING UP!! THE SWEET SOUND OF VIOLINS, RICHES, FAME AND GLORY!!! THE BUGLE IS BACK, AND THIS TIME- WITH BREAKING NEWS!!! THE HOTTEST OF THE HOT!! SPIDER-MAN. RACIST!!! WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT IT? BESIDES ME, OF COURSE. GAHAHAHA!

kas oopsies

'm a mutant an' can confirm Peter's against mutants. [ SNICKERING. ]

I KNEW THAT WALL-CRAWLING FREAK WAS A MENACE! ROBERTSON! START THE PRESSES!! IT'S TIME WE *EXPOSED* THIS TROGLODYTE FOR WHO HE IS! A RACIST!!!

WHAT THE-?! SPIDER-MAN?!?! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!!!! WE DON'T COUNT VOTES FOR TERRORISTS!!!

The alcohol is first.

Actually I don't like milk with my cereal, I enjoy the cereal without the milk.

“If you pour the milk in first, I’m gonna assume you have a criminal background.”

Only a homicidal maniac puts Milk first.

Trick question. Your neighbour. Your wife. The cereal. Then the milk.

Unimportant.

Cereal.. then fucking Pineapple Juice & Cola.

ㅤ cereal of course.

THE BOWL TO PLACE BOTH YOU TROGLODYTE

anyone who says milk first needs to be locked in cages and studied .

BAH HUMBUG!!!

WHAT THE HELL.

Cereal has near 0 nutrient value and you shouldn't have it for breakfast

❝ Milk . Who ' s crazy enough to put the cereal first ? ❞

Breaking News Remember that old anti-piracy advert? (2000’s kids the answer should be yes.) Well. It’s now been claimed that the advert used a pirated font. I love life.

GOOD MORNING NEW YORK!! WHAT COMES FIRST? THE MILK OR THE CEREAL?!

BSKY MVRP'S MOST WANTED !! According to complaint, the perp is to be, and I quote; "ARRESTED! PROSECUTED!!! ELECTRIC CHAIR!!!" You will be rewarded handsomely.