{{Update: It’s my hand, my elbow, and apparently my neck. Getting older is hell, kids. PT for the entire month of February.

{{Hi friends. My right hand has a minor injury, so I will be on hiatus for a while to try to recover. Feel free to DM me if you wanna chat, but my responses will be slow.

"I can get you almost anywhere..."

IT’S TOO FUCKING COLD

the stars are beautiful because of a flower you don‘t see.

“MAKE HIM STOP! THE REST OF US ARE FREEZING OUR ASSES OFF!”

His brow furrowed. A mix of complex emotions cycled through his expressions, but ultimately landed on something reflecting bitterness. “No. My parents dumped me in a river. The man who found me, who raised me, was murdered right in front of me. I was useless. But…I hear you.” He capped the vodka.

“HIS LIZARD ASS IS STEALING ALL THE HEAT!!”

He arched a golden brow. “You sure you wanna do that? Sometimes some things are better left unknown.” He moved his cigarette so he could take a quick swig of the vodka. It was just as terrible as he remembered. He grimaced. “Remind me not to drink this by itself ever again.”

“I’ve never been nice. Tell Gregor to stop blocking the damn sun!”

Squints. “Is that a goddamn dragon?”

“Felt adrift? Yeah. I’ve felt that way many times. It’s normal.” He flicked the ash from his cigarette onto the ground. “What to do with your life. Well, what do you WANT to do with it?” He rested the cigarette between his lips, picked up the vodka bottle, twisted the cap off. “Don’t give a-

“Isn’t it?” He leaned over and looked at her with a blank expression, then he narrowed his eyes. “What’s going on in that brain of yours?”

He reached into his robes for his pack of smokes. He pulled one out and lit it. The smoke trailed up out of the burning center in a pale helix. “That’s a solid choice. How poetic. I don’t really have a favorite. I don’t like things with complicated patterns. Mm…probably white, if I had to choose.”

You know what to do. #stfusunday

“Are you gonna pay to get it fixed?”

He put the bottle down next to him and was silent for a few seconds as he considered her question with the seriousness it felt like it deserved. “Normal people talk about stupid bullshit like the weather. I think we’re a little beyond that.” He looked over at her. “What’s your favorite color?”

Chainsmokes.

I would’ve talked to you for free, but I don’t turn down alcohol.

There are waaaaaay too many of them. And they’re all a pain in the ass.

He sighed then held out his hand and wiggled his fingers. “Give. I’ll talk to you. What did you wanna talk about?”

“Where did all these damn ducks come from?”

I give into sin, because I like to practice what I preach.

heal them, like fire from a gun.

“Come near my window and I’ll give you another hole in your head.”

He narrowed a single violet eye in suspicion. “What’s the catch?”

Raises a golden brow. “Huh. Been a while. What’ve you got there?”

Comes back and hits him in the head with the harisen. “Shhhhhhh!”

“Oh. No. What. Have. I done.” Walks off to go make himself some tea.

Not just no, but Hell No.

because I was born to destroy you

Pulling out yet ANOTHER fan and beating him with it. Again. “You want money?! Go make some!”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m a priest. Wait…Hold on! No! Bad! Bad god!” Thwacks Yato over the head with the paper fan.

“I don’t owe you shit! You’re the one who made a literal garbage decision! Sprinkle me with your unholy water again and I’ll shove you back into traffic.”

“Believe it, or whatever the kids are saying these days. You’re a drenched, cold god. Enjoy.”

[Dumps a bucket of ice water on him] “I don’t give a SHIT!”

“NO! AND I DON’T CARE!”

“Goodbye forever. It was nice knowing you for like 10 seconds.”

[Follows the trash can to make sure it keeps rolling into traffic.]

[Kicks the trashcan over.]

“Some of you are intimidatingly feral.”

“I assumed you didn’t know how.”

“HMU if you wanna get roasted by a priest.”