Please enjoy this picture of a sheep I took today

I'm fairly sure it's the same line up every year at Kendal Calling and they just hope nobody will notice.

What, all of them??

I would loved to have seen a Slow Horses with Leo Mckern as Jackson Lamb.

Cruelty is anhedonic. It rarely delivers the euphoria promised because, in the abstract, what feels righteous and joyful inevitably reveals itself to be sordid and small. Then it's "No not like that". "No not enough". "No the real battle, the forever war to make this feel good starts now". Forever.

My wife is more concerned with how my t-shirts fit and suit me than with how cool the band on the front is. Weird

I tell you now Steps app, you may as well take a day off. It's not happening.

If I was hoovering whilst my Mrs was in a meeting on Zoom, I wouldn't be getting a shag, I tell you that.

Spielberg 'Make me an unconvincing bookcase for the scene set in the ancient library please' Props Guy 'Really? I could probably just nip out and get a few books. It's no bother' Spielberg 'UNCONVINCING BOOKCASE'

Reasonable Expectations

Dignity update: Miming wiping my arse before deciding which wrist I want my festival wristband on.

To celebrate England winning the Euros I'll be celebrating England winning the Euros

Being good at golf is rubbish, you get less turns

Took a piss next to Lias Saoudi Jonny Greenwood Singer out of Murder Capital Nathan Doyle (ex Bradford City and Hull)

Trying to watch The Eagle has Landed and the intro is pure Reeves and Mortimer

I did not fall for that Salt Path nonsense, mostly because I hadn't heard of it until today

Is the streaming service Tidal any use? Is it the least worst of them?

Only a fool would be going to see the Osees in this heat

RIP Brian Wilson. However great other songwriters are they didn't write 'God Only Knows'

Haven't shaved my head in a week

He looks like a cormorant about to be cleaned by RSPB volunteers.

Nobody has said it's a great advert for the Premier League for some reason

This match is brilliantly shit

Bandle #1003 1/6 🟩⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ Found: 6/7 (85.7%) Current Streak: 1 (max 1) #Bandle #Heardle bandle.app

To me in West Yorkshire

4 things Facebook mistakenly thinks I am interested in: Bollywood Escape Rooms Angry women chasing skateboarders Aquarium mime

Saw this at Krankenhaus last year, loved it.

I like football again

Walton Goggins is in EVERYTHING

R.I.P David Thomas of #PereUbu buff.ly/sDUnrc9

I just hate football

Looking at the FB profiles of 'People you may know' on the basis of 2 mutual friends being your parents is quite the eye opener

#transwomenarewomen #transmenaremen

I wondered for about half a second how Lawrie Sanchez had managed to wrangle himself a spot on this

#totp Eddie Redmayne, the early years

I went to a non league game this week and bought raffle tickets on my way in. They didn't announce the winners and there's no evidence anywhere there was a raffle I think it was just an old guy selling cloakroom tickets

There was a man in the supermarket with the same Sonic Youth t-shirt as me on Saturday

All the Dan Burn discourse over the last couple of weeks has really hammered home exactly how much I thought he was Lewis Dunk

On top of a frustrating and damaging defeat, a guy that sits near me has learned the word 'transition' and is keen to show off his new word at every opportunity

'Please help, I have been locked in this room, that I made a right old fuss demanding to be let into, for 30 whole seconds '

Oooh, band x are playing Leeds.....at the Academy

Last night I watched a film called 'No Escape' I don't want to give too much away but it should really have been called 'Some Escape'

The more I reflect on the #bcafc game yesterday the more I think the MK tactics were possibly the most bizarre I have ever seen in person

Just did Connections, what the fuck is ******** ***?

Look at this weirdo

Michael Elphick here dressed as Matt Berry in Darkplace

In some alternate universe it's the 40th Anniversary of a soap opera called 'Godstone High Streetenders'

This is true. A pal of mine who is a policeman went to a Scottish island recently to investigate a missing person and when the locals found out he was a Christian they stuck him in a giant human-shaped willow branch construction and burned him alive.

I've started watching US Traitors and one of the traitors is called Tommy and he wears a backwards baseball cap under his cloak.

You cannot placate these people. You cannot reach an end. Round up every refugee in camps and they'll want the next cruelty. Their 'concerns' are not about society, the economy or public safety, they're an ever moving target of fear and hatred that cannot be sated, it has to be challenged.