So are eggs cheaper yet or?

You can’t even have fun with it anymore. It’s too smart

Tomato Ningen, a human tomato slice, in Asakusa, Tokyo

I just got one of those promo texts from a local pizza place offering me a free breadstick (singular)

Trying to convince me son to go to department stores with me on Christmas Eve to try to pull off a Christmas shoes bit

The scene where that woman asks Howard the Duck if he wants to have a drink out of a bowl instead of a cup lives completely rent free in my head for all time. It’s been probably 30 years since I’ve seen that movie and I don’t think about it at least once a week.

The way Simone Biles immediately says “fuck” on camera after finishing her routine makes me really proud to be an American🇺🇸

When is Missouri going to settle down and become Mrssouri is that anything?

“Freaking is not a curse word, but fucking is.” - my seven year old, sitting in the kitchen

you know what I always say … nothing, i don’t talk

All pasta is pasta salad, really

My pumpkins? Smashing

2024 is a good year to eat sandwiches

[after turning off sesame street] all my shapes gone

past tense of heat should be hote

I used to be on Twitter to find out what was happening on TikTok and twitch. Now I’m on Bluesky and threads to find out what’s happening on Twitter, apparently

My whole feed is actually just @whatsmid.bsky.social and I’m okay with that

Mind intentionally left blank.

You can go to bed at 7pm, nobody can stop you

if i ever actually learn to map these arrays it’s over for you jokers

I’m just gonna blap some shit. Is this a cool place to blap? That’s as far as I’ve gotten

I genuinely do not understand how the stock market keeps going up. And that, I think, is one reason I’m not rich.

I haven’t used any of my invite codes yet because I’m afraid most of the people I know aren’t cool enough for y’all anyway

search drinks in your camera roll oh crap I’m just as uncool as I’ve always feared

why is it so loud in here (my brain) today?

wild to think about how humans weren’t always workers

Harvey Firestone in 1914 on why he thought the automobile business was about to boom

It’s really important to be firm in setting your intentions for the day early because if you don’t, you’ll find yourself at 10a.m. Wondering where chairs came from and the rest of the day will just be chair history research.

One of the craziest things about right now is you can walk up to any person and say “the world make no sense we can’t keep living like this” and every person will not their head in agreement and then just be like, “anyway gotta get back to work."

We need to have another Pride in the winter so the furries can actually enjoy it. This June heat doesn’t seem fair.

when you're watching the wire and they show the wire

There’s already too many journalists and not enough journalists on this site

but why do i

Sure the headsets look stupid, are uncomfortable to use and they cost a fortune but that’s never stopped new technologies before

Sitting here feeling a bit fazed, thinking maybe I shouldn’t have had that second beer. Then I remembered they were both na beers and this is just what it feels like to be old and tired.

After a couple of years of doing occasional, mostly short runs, I’m getting back into regular, longer runs and, man, it is so much better.

people will tell you to learn to code as if learning to code isn’t just an endless cycle of learning one thing only to find out there are ten other things you have to learn before you can do that one thing

meat skeet

anyway did you know honey bee hives have undertakers who collect the corpses in the hive and fly them away but sometimes the undertaker is lazy and it just kicks the corpses off the edge of the hive https://www.michiganradio.org/podcast/stateside/2023-05-19/stateside-podcast-bee-ing-more-observant

them: “now more than ever we need strong local journalism to save our democracy” me: *interviews bumblebee*

somebody get this cat off my lap