I do a bit where once and awhile (but critically not always or even most of the time), when a close friend makes a “your mom” joke around me, I will straight deadpan with full eye contact “My mom is DEAD, man.” (but only to people who I trust to Get My Humor) ((Also she would have loved this bit))

This place fills an incredibly important niche in Portland and I am so happy they can expand!

It was highly fucking cathartic to shout BUT THERE'S GONNA BE A PARTY WHEN THE WOLF COMES HOME with hundreds of other nerds at the Mountain Goats last night. I don’t often go to shows, but there's really something precious about this type of communal group experience that feels rarer and rarer

if THIS FLAG OFFENDS YOU I'LL HELP YOU PACK

Something incredible happened in Amanita the camper van today

25 minutes ago I put a handful of dried candy caps in a jar to steep with bourbon and my hands STILL smell like maple syrup. What incredible little mushrooms

I simply hate it when tens of thousands of predatory pinnipeds gorge on my local salmon

people, you have the chance to put my book ahead of Olivia Nuzzi’s on the bestseller list. put aside all other considerations and think how objectively funny this would be. #1, that Mountain Goats guy. #2, Antivax Man Has My Heart. funniest list of the century. We can do this if we try

It’s FANTASY FEAST day here at the Mushroom Kingdom and we’re off to a strong start (photos of entire suckling pig prepped for the smoker hidden)

Introduce yourself with five animals you’ve seen in the wild (native to/found in my bioregion) American black bear North American porcupine Humpback whale Short-tailed weasel Golden eagle

Leave little Saruman alone.

Oh SHIT yeah a MILLION thanks to @thryn.bsky.social for executing on the prepped casserole while we were dealing with a pet related Situation, massively essential A++++ pinch hitting

Also, Caper one hundred percent instigated the mud lake expedition, and led all those other dogs in the dog park into it as well while all their owners (and me!) simultaneously shouted no, dammit, stop, omg, jesus christ etc. lolololol oops

Chanterelle green bean casserole, smoked turkey AND roasted turkey, sweet potatoes two ways, cheesy corn casserole, GF porcini stuffing, bacon mash potato casserole, smoked turkey legs, cranberry sauce, gravy, fresh rolls, gluten-y crispy onions (for green beans). All by me except sweet potatoes. 😁

Sowing, fucking around / reaping, finding out

Before midnight I did: Green bean chanterelle casserole Roll dough (long cold ferment) Cranberry sauce Mashed potato casserole Gravy (add drippings before service) Brined/spatchcocked turkeys (yesterday) Pie shells for pumpkin pies That new NYT cranberry tiramisu which I suspect might be a banger

Ok the whole turkeys are dry brined and the drumsticks for smoking are wet brining and it wasn’t even that bad

I know the turkeys will be better if I spatchcock and dry brine them now instead of tomorrow. but. i am le tired and I don't want to :(

Also the Correct spread is: Turkey Cranberry sauce Gravy Refreshing salad Fresh rolls Mashed potato dish Sweet potato dish Dressing/stuffing Creamy or roasted vegetable (green bean casserole or similar) Mac and cheese if oven timing allows Pumpkin pie Cake dessert Apple and/or cranberry dessert

Smoked turkey is the best turkey and it’s not even close, it’s not just good for turkey but genuinely GOOD Commodity butterball style turkeys are inherently bland & watery and that’s why a lot of people think they’re bad Cook 2 small turkeys not one big one, or one small and a bunch of drumsticks

Trading gluten free Thanksgiving baking tips at the root vendor farmers market stall: the ultimate Portland cliche story

The season is winding down but it’s still pretty darn nice out there

I think it's because I've been left home alone for several days and I'm reverting to Palermo mode, but I could absolutely destroy a rosticceria takeout dinner. Pollo alla brace, a bag of arancine and french fries, chicken fat lemony potatoes, maybe a hunk of sfincione. Unparalleled experience tbh

I had a lovely time chatting with @chiara-profenna.bsky.social and @jamiehale.bsky.social on the Peak Northwest podcast, fighting the good fight to de-mystify and de-gatekeep mushroom foraging here in the PNW! Video here, podcast audio in all the usual spots too. www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCcb...

Her first film will be g rated

oh so when rfk jr has a worm in his brain it's "bad" but when dax has a slug in her she's "the most beautiful person i've literally ever seen in my life" and "early queer representation in television"

Katie is a friend, AND I believe in this place enough that we invested in the initial dang building purchase at ground zero. Books with Pictures is part of a Portland that needs to continue existing, and if you have any spare change consider tossing it their way- or, stop in and buy a comic or ten?

Pope Leo absolutely cooking

We're obviously doing Thanksgiving theme Thanksgiving for Thanksgiving, BUT! On traditional Saturday bonus day, we've decided on a ✨ FANTASY FEAST✨ theme and, obviously, I am making a 15-20 lb motherfuckin suckling pig! Also I am keen on more menu suggestions! (no goddamn transphobe wizard shit)

internet is crazy

look as someone who can be incapacitated for weeks by the fear that I put the wrong number of exclamation points into an email this has been a fascinating glimpse into a some brains that work extremely! differently! from! mine!

will Mamdani be the first anti-Lutheran mayor of NYC?

Congratulations to Caper, who is now officially ✨UKC Champion✨titled! He was awarded Best of Winners (in a very competitive field!) under Judge Cynthia Sanders today. Aaahh he did so good!!!! 🥹

lol she got his ass and he knows it

No, the beer coat is not real, please, stop rewarding ai shite.

pre-writing a devastating obituary for your enemy is god-tier hating of a kind you don’t often see anymore. renaissance haterism. beautiful stuff.

inviting the neighborhood kids to check out my Baudriyard

Yet another gorgeous day to learn about mushrooms here in Oregon 🤩

In Japan, tourism to Portland, Oregon, is promoted by a grinning blue monster named Odnarodude. He’s at a Portland artisan event in Jiyugaoka De Aone this weekend.

Reposting because, and I say this with love, some of you are going to see this and go “oh shit, I need to check my bottle” and then immediately forget about it so if this could affect you, go check right now before you even scroll to the next post, I mean it.

Chlorociboria is allegedly rare, but I honestly find it every time I go out in the PNW woods and think to look for it. That beautiful turquoise teal blue is unmistakable. It is the color of the mycelium spreading through the wood it is decomposing and consuming. So sick

great day for the legal theory of "not guilty if it's funny enough"

I talk to the press professionally, I'm really, really, really good at it. So please, please believe me when say you cannot turn this interview request into anything good, it will do only harm. Harm to you, harm to your child, harm to other children.

Happy AMC-10a test day to all those who celebrate (and our vibrating-with-anxitexcitement kids)

“I wish Andrew Cuomo only the best in private life”

this is objectively hilarious

It’s a beautiful day to learn about mushrooms in Oregon

Last night I made matsutake gohan & miso roast cauliflower & shoyu dashi braised chicken thighs last night. I had it warmed and ready to go for the kiddos after a round of classic cold PDX rain trick or treating and it was maybe a perfect meal for that exact moment

This year we had a Conehead Zombie and a Scaly-foot snail (Chrysomallon squamiferum). I kinda killed it in the DIY deep sea snail costume department tbh