I'm so mad that I've been working really hard and just made a little extra money and now I have to pay my car insurance deductible because some asshole tried to jump in front of me on the highway.

I saw a purple one the other day and it was just so stupid.

I’ve had some very specific driving anxiety the last few months - just worried about getting in a wreck. Someone cut me off on the interstate and I did a little swipe on another car, so it finally happened. Luckily we are both fine and of course the reckless asshole who caused it is long gone.

for the record, i don’t believe that all men want is to assault teenagers without suffering consequences for it. i do however believe that if you’re a man who does NOT want that, this would be a GREAT time to get VERY FUCKING LOUD about it

Me but with this Trader Joe’s Thanksgiving popcorn. They always get me with the weird seasonal stuff.

I keep thinking, welp, 'bout time to head for bed then I check the time and it's like 6:10 pm. It feels like midnight I swear.

I love how you can apply this to so many current situations. No need for specifics!

I hate when I accidently stumble across something I didn't even know existed and now I have a deep well of longing in my soul for it. This is about a pair of embroidered boots on Poshmark and also a fat lil reindeer candy dish at Publix.

The employees at my local post office seem to hold every one of us who pass through their doors with such deep contempt.

Bought a few treats at Trader Joe's and my bank account started wailing.

or--and stay with me here--we could have just believed the women

Bomb squad school. Demo phase. Had a brand new pocket knife. Sitting around waiting and fiddling with it and snapped it shut on my index finger. Had to get 3 stitches across my middle knuckle and lost 3 weeks of training time. Earned the nickname No Knives.

I woke up to the best message I could want on Veterans Day. From my daughter, an ensign currently somewhere on the oceans with the 6th Fleet.

With advances in medicine it's actually possible I could live to 110. I don't know that it's LIKELY, for many reasons. Or even desirable. But for sure possible. Which means that right now, at 55, I could be at mid-life.

Senate Republicans this morning

I saw a sun hat that I thought said "you had me at alone" and I was like, that's awesome, yes, leave me alone. But it was "you had me at aloha" which okay fine probably makes more sense.

Like I always say, if you really want to hate total strangers with a deep and profound loathing, just buy their house.

If you're really enraged and/or depressed about everything on your timeline, may I recommend following the colors? You get a nice blob of a green or a blue or a pink or maybe a yellow! And you go, oh that's a nice teal. Or, oh not a fan of that orange or whatever. A little brain reset.

I AM SO ANNOYED

Loving today's news that the mysterious "fedora man" outside the Louvre heist was actually a 15-year-old museum visitor who dresses like a 1940s French detective all the time, just because. apnews.com/article/louv...

every generation loves Rumours. it’s fucking Rumours

Did a little yard work and had to stop and pose by my gorgeous fall foliage.

Oh I cannot deal with hateful, stupid people. Better close the NextDoor tab.

I just took a workshop on facial expressions for burlesque performing with THE Margo Mayhem. It was so incredibly fun and informative!! We made so many faces at ourselves. I am VERY good at suspicious face.

I like it when it seems like the world beyond my back fence has disappeared in the fog.

That is so cold for us, I don't think I'm ready.

WELL!

I got served up my "best photos of the year so far" and there was the hike at Mammoth Cave with the guy I haven't seen since March and like HOW was that less than a year ago? It feels so much longer, this year has been a long one.

Me last night: So glad I can actually sleep in tomorrow, I need it. My brain this morning: wakes me up an hour earlier than usual. Me: GODDAMMIT

Oh my GOD this is beautiful!

Finally!

I just want to read happy election stuff all day but ugh I have things to do

Okay I left a pair of heels at the thrift store yesterday even though I almost never find size 11s. But they were only 10% off. Today they'll be 30% off if they are still there and I'm going to be there when the stores open because I keep thinking about them. Wish me luck.

Oh my gosh that is just so wonderful.

I had to end a dating relationship today which was a little stressful. He was kind and I enjoyed getting to know him but after 4 dates it just wasn't working.

It turns out her given name is Rebecca! We are powerful, all versions of the Rebeccas.

TRANS RIGHTS WINS ELECTIONS

Hi, former Army bomb squad tech here. This is bullshit, please do not ignore bomb threats. Even better, always be on the lookout for unfamiliar items. You know what's supposed to be there better than me, the rando EOD tech who just showed up. If a bag/box/crockpot/WInnebago weirdly shows up, 🚨

Emerson said it best:

Happy Halloween from the birthday sloth!

Today is my first day of being 55 years old. I usually feel pretty good about getting older, but this number felt big and significant in the weeks leading up to today. But now that it's actually my birthday, I am really pleased with the double 5s. Bring on the senior discounts.

I had every intention of going for a walk this afternoon but it's 54°, gloomy, and windy. I'm just not into that yet. I'm in brisk autumn mode, not gray winter mode. Give me a few months.

"X shouldn't be political." OK but it is. Now what?

"I DON'T NEED YOU TO FUCKING REWRITE WHAT I'VE JUST WRITTEN!"

It's embarrassing how annoyed I was to realize I'd forgotten to put my smart watch on before my yoga class. So stressful for me to just move and breathe without getting data. God forbid I don't record every fucking move I make. Love that I've trained myself this way.

My student just talked about a prom photo from olden times. My curiosity was piqued. What year, praytell, is from the olden times? Friends, the year was 2005.