He's been trying to make his hair look good from the angle of that Time cover photo

Looking forward to the congressional hearings in which Republicans demand that the president of an Ivy League school resign over this.

I hate this so much. Most Germans already don't work until "retirement age," usually for medical reasons, so this is a handout to professional desk-jockeys (like me!), who can keep working longer, at the expense of people in physically demanding jobs, who can't. www.theguardian.com/world/2025/o...

Why would the cartels want to stop ICE and CBP activities that have been diverting resources away from drug interdiction?

"republican staffers are all literal nazis" is less of a groupchat thing and more of a posting on main thing at this point

It’s ACTUALLY true.

The #Habs have their third game of the season and their third road game tonight in Chicago. Here’s what I saw in Game 2. t.co/odOgJ7z6UG

UNsolicited FLIC pic

I like how the news will be like “while the President claiming Portland was ruled by a giant skeleton named Mr Nibbles is not strictly true, it does speak to the anxiety of many Americans”

he also said that 80% of antifa's members are landlords and if you lower the cost of housing, you basically starve the network of its financing

in 2011, the president of antifa hired me to give fashion consultancy to the organization. i recommended everyone wear navy suits with tan shoes, dress sneakers, and golf polos with slim chinos. if you arrested everyone today wearing these things, you'd destroy antifa

Breaking: Trump to designate Antfifa a foreign country

Yeah, you know, the bus: the really long vehicle with the extra seats and the uniformed driver! Use that to go everywhere myself. Mine's even got a little minibar and a massage seat. ... What?

Two things can be true at the same time: Bill Burr should be shamed for playing the Riyadh Improv. Bill Burr is correct that he deserves the same treatment as everyone else who does business there.

The pint is recommended even for those who are smiling.

Detroit Red Wings looked back on the last season and decided they missed the playoffs because their starting goalie wasn't old and washed enough

I guess the real Peace Prize is the McNuggets he scarfed along the way

It really can't be said enough: the goal of the "anti-woke" movement was always to destroy social norms against bigotry. And it worked. And there's a whole lot of purportedly "left" thinkers & commentators who helped it -- indeed, it couldn't have been done without them. They should feel bad.

Like a GM giving a coach the dreaded "vote of confidence" during a losing streak www.nytimes.com/athletic/670...

The Frogs have been consistent in their messaging; I don't know why ICE wasn't prepared for Portland. youtube.com/watch?v=tHI1...

Welp, here it is: maybe the funniest thing we've ever done, in its entirety.

Now that it's no longer the "Core Four," I'm going with "The Passenger 34 Era"

Dear God (if you exist): I've never wished that 400 actual ostriches would just die already, by any means, all at once. Please give the 400 ostriches in BC simultaneous fatal strokes. Ostriches can have strokes, right? If so, kindly strike them down. With my deepest gratitude, @schmutzie.com ❤️

Nobody: Absolutely nobody: German laundry detergent: (emits weird smell)

I look forward to the day when I will voluntarily set foot in that country again, because Chicago is indeed one hell of a city

This was not a sample of academics.

I mean he's so close to getting it

DHL did not manage to deliver my pre-ordered copy of Shadow Ticket today, which I attribute to some sort of postal conspiracy.

Now what's she's done there is confuse freedom with toasted sandwich maker hasn't she ?!

the things we love

Jordan Peterson is once again dying of witchery (all red meat + benzos diet)

Since his return from injury, HC Salavat coach (and former NHLer) Victor Kozlov has placed Habs prospect Alexander Zharovsky on the 1st line. This is a coach who has no problem playing his rookie. Zharovsky now has 1G & 3A for 4P in 3GP, while averaging 15:54 mins. It’s been an impressive start 🔥

Oh, the Steve District

There is no Alberta oil. It's Canada's oil. There is no Saskatchewan potash. It's Canada's potash. The entire country has the right to your resources, according to Scott Moe. www.cbc.ca/news/canada/...

Am I excited to get going this season? Why yes I am. I just wrote my Wilde Cards for opening night’s Call Of The Wilde for Global TV. Hope you’ll read along this season.

Watched the Frankenstein trailer, and... the effects aren't finished, right? Please tell me the effects aren't finished. "Weirdly smooth" is not the aesthetic I was expecting.

Legendary cunt Margaret Thatcher still dead. Cheerio, mates !

Just realised the existence of a pitcher of beer implies the existence of a catcher of beer. That is how I know I'm real.

You can quickly find out whether a man just fucking hates women by mentioning Greta Thunberg and listening to what comes out because there's something about her specifically that shuts off these guys' ability to filter.

Great outreach work by the Sens. All the kids in Québec City will want Carter Yakemchuk jerseys to wear when they're getting their ass kicked.

Amateurs talk about tactics, professionals study logistics, dipshits count chinups and measure beard-length

Good lord! Read the translated alt-text!

Hi Donald. Canada here. Keep my name out of your flapping gob. K, later.

NY Times Headline: Trump appears to reference Sun Tzu in comments on inherently unpredictable nature of combat

Mentioned before that I get a lot - a LOT - of Democrat fundraising emails intended for other people and sweet jesus, they're asking Jim (whoever he is) for money in order to... have lots of money they can say they've got. The solution to American's crisis is bigger piggy banks, apparently.