I'm the milk man.

if you got for it on 4th & 3 with a designed pass but don't have anybody open, while defenders are about to run you out of bounds for a loss... just fuckin chuck the ball! at that point an interception will at least give them worse field position.

"if you don't want people to block ads, create better ads" is totally disingenuous here.. can anyone who uses ad blockers give an example of what type of ads a website could display that would make them stop using ad blockers? no! use of ad blockers has absolutely nothing to do with ad "quality."

castlevania collections were cheap on Steam this weekend, so I decided to play them all, in order. this shit is fuckin difficult. no wonder I couldn't beat it on a black and green screened original Gameboy when I was 7 years old.

after months of trying, my beard is starting to knot up. in another year or so I'll have a single dreadlock dangling from my chin.

thanks instagram

fast food prices are impossibly high these days. $15 for 3 items at Taco Bell. absolute shit planet we've built ourselves.

I am completely self aware and have never been wrong in my life.

new mortal kombat is out, and it's $70 for the base version, $110 for the "premium" which doesn't actually come with anything like art or a statuette or other collectible.. just DLC that they could have released as part of the base game. who the fuck is out here paying this shit?? unforgivable.

I got banned from LinkedIn for "harassing and bullying" Bobby Kotick and I'd do it again if I didn't need that hellsite to find work

just heard a local conservative talk radio host rail against the UAW strike for 30 minutes then say, "I'm as pro-worker as anyone, I love blue collar workers BUT they need a contract that won't bankrupt the auto companies!"

I'm sorry but if you check a bag and it gets lost or destroyed, I have no compassion for you. get a clue.don't check anything you want to ever see again. and mfers who check their animals? belong on a list

my girlfriend is telling me I can't get a tattoo of Monkey D. Laffy with his own penis stretching behind him, up his own ass and coming out his mouth. do I dump her and get the tattoo.

Starting the hero’s journey: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!! Encountering the Ordeal: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

imagine being so stupid that you're stuck in traffic evacuating a fire, with absolutely no traffic coming the opposite direction, yet you still won't cross into oncoming lanes. now imagine everyone is this stupid.

me checking in on my friends

I'll carne your asada

just learned that there's an analytics tool called PostHog. I'm gonna get fired if I ever have to work with it.

making hamburger helper with kefir was not my most successful culinary innovation..

yeah i'm religious and believe in the holy trinity: - solid snake - gray fox - big boss

when you're halfway through a bag and there's no more rye chips

nobody can ever accuse me of clout chasing. I will delete any time I hit 400 followers. always have always will.

equal eyes equalize equal lies

mentally, I'm here

I've been catcalled once in my life and i still think about it every day: "where you goin, tarzan?" from another man, downtown Seattle. I don't "swing" that way but that was definitely the closest I ever came to considering it.

if you block me, good for you that was probably a smart and safe choice.

the only time it's not rude to tell someone "blow it out your ass" is right after they say they have to take a shit

every baseball team should just be named after a different color sock

I think bsky should hire two wolves

My Penis: Broly

my morning so far

that adhd moment where you catch a wave of motivation and go into a flow state and effortlessly complete the dozen or so chores and other small tasks you've been putting off for the last week and a half.

getting tattooed. ouchie.

Ronald Reagan died 6969 days ago today. 1 reskeet is 1 piss on his grave

oh you better hope this email finds you before I do

do barbecues go on sale after the 4th of July like candy does after Halloween and valentines?

no more fireworks. society has progressed past the need for fireworks.

nice. nobody else follow me please.

kinda funny how the original-language version of shows on hulu are all just lumped under the genre "international," as if it it isn't a science fiction series when it's in Japanese audio. only when translated to English does the content contain specific elements of science fiction entertainment.

fuck a zodiac sign, show me what's in your cheese drawer

after i die i would like hot women to walk barefoot on my grave

in my 35 years of life, including the last decade cooking and a half decade of hobbyist gardening, I had never heard of a garlic scape before this spring. now they're in every instagram recipe. I can only assume they were invented in the last 10 months or so? how.

me and my new follower

for the first 35 years of my life I've never heard of a "garlic scape" and now they're the best ingredient ever according to most social media I've seen. weird

in the "richest nation in the world," it should not be this difficult to buy vodka at 7am on a Sunday