Today in "No shit Sherlock"

"bluesky is all politics" my sibling in agnosticism its because you follow nothing but Newsom '28 shitlibs and "center-left" journalists employed by Transphobia Inc. i recommend you follow more queer furries

This is exactly right. The Onion quietly left Twitter a month ago and... our weekly subscribers went up. It's because we're doing well here, on Instagram and on YouTube. As a business, being on Twitter is somewhere between useless or detrimental, unless you're selling boner pills.

There is a word for this: it's called genocide.

Prison is too kind for these people. All of DHS belongs under the fucking jail.

. @rokhanna.bsky.social supports KOSA. I would LOVE a data bill of rights, but if that’s what he actually believes in then why does he support surveillance laws like KOSA that force tech companies to collect far far MORE data, making it much easier for the Trump admin/ICE to target ppl?

The difference between AI and NFTs is that at least NFTs were a half decent way to do money laundering.

Moreover, do not reinstate nitro. Actions have consequences

Hey, remember Wolfenstein? That game about killing nazis and how fascism and the nazis were a part of the USA well before the Third Reich ever rose to power? They should REALLY make another one of those. And make it even more on the nose. No, I'm not joking.

Your regular reminder that Palantir started out as a way to expose sex workers to police violence, then expanded to allow cops to spy on anyone they pointed at while barfing out the word "gang". Fascists *created* Palantir, but useful idiots approved of everything done to grow it.

A reminder that Israel is still the single most evil country on the fucking planet and must be dismantled in its entirety .

"Drop on the deck and flop like a fish, motherfucker."

is it bad that my main reaction was relief? like, the worst case scenario with this delusion is a hospital ship winds up somewhere that doesn't need it.

Selené out here joining the "diaper wearing lala" gang ^_^

😕

This fucking sucks. Why would a fucking furry game do this? You could have paid a furry artist the money you spent and gotten something better and gotten goodwill from the community. Now you just sank your entire game.

I just don’t know what people are thinking sometimes. If I were in charge of a furry game, one of the best in-community marketing moves I could think of would be to commission a dozen popular furry artists to make key art for the game.

honestly, the next time someone shames me for being a fat woman, i’m just going to say “yeah, sorry I don’t look like someone Epstein wanted to fuck.”

Hey, homies! Lucca is needing 1) Coffee maker 2) Bug bombs 3) Railing to keep their loved ones safe from falling Please consider helping. They want to work, but also donations will help IMMENSELY. please share!!!

Lol. Lmao.

caves of qud outsold cybertruck by like 5x in 2025

Oooo imma steal this!

... ... ... Diapers.

Brenda, Thank you for your correspondence. In order for me to be useful in this “team first” environment, I must take allotted my 30 minute meal break. Furthermore, you got me all the fucked up! And don’t come to me with this bullshit again. Disrespectfully, Morbid

Everyone who called that tip line belongs inside a volcano. Just absolute irredeemable evil. That comedian is a hero

“Use Gemini, use chat gpt, use grok” I’m using my paci

The ultimate goal of republicans is to eliminate LGBTQ people from public life. You're not safe if you're 'just' gay or lesbian. The focus on trans people was always a wedge issue to try to justify coming after LGBTQ people again.

IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN A WEEK!

oh no Canada is poorer than Alabama so Canada better do things to become more like Alabama instead of questioning whether or not the way they are measuring this is meaningful or useful

The Supreme Court:

i may have discovered the secret to expanding my reach

hotdogsuit.jpg

Men post this and then wonder why they're incels

For a whole year, DHS hid that they murdered Ruben, a young man in Texas, after a traffic stop. Just like they did with Silverio, Renee, Keith, Alex, and Linda, they lied and avoided accountability. How many more people have to be executed before my colleagues realize that reforms are not enough?

Accurate.

ICE is the new government-sponsored KKK.

Help littlespacers feel more confident in their potty problems by spreading the word middlespacers wet the bed and need to wear big thick baby diapers. Print out posters that say "Not Too Big to Bedwet" with a photo of your favourite middlespacer in their morning accident to put up around the school

@rawrparty.bsky.social bit me!!!!

Sorry, just need some time to vent about the fact that my brother is a piece of shit coward that cares more about virtue signaling how christian he is and attending bullshit "Christian entrepreneurship seminars" than actually caring about people In case it wasn't clear, my brother is a piece of shit

chiitan non-binary real

The entire DHS must be abolished.

ICE killed a US citizen in Texas. The public was not told a federal agent fired the fatal shot until much later.

I shit you not, I had to double take to make sure this was actually the Onion.

Random dose of truth

All Republicans are pedophiles. Yes, the voters too.