Donald Trump's favorite son power rankings: 1. The Ballroom 2. Ivanka 3. Barron (might have moved to 2 if he could dunk. How come he's as tall as Wemby but plays basketball like Airbud, a dog that died in 1998?) 4. Zohran Mamdani 5. Don Jr. (Strong name, no other redeeming qualities)

Guys, you know how John Henry was the best at...railroad something? Maybe digging tunnels? So that when a machine came along that could do it he literally worked himself to death to show he could be better? We gotta figure out a way to get Grok to challenge Trump to a lying contest.

If you could be a pro athlete and choose your nickname (but not have the stigma of having chosen your nickname), what would you choose? I'd be "the Inconvenient Truth," because I'm making things uncomfortably hot and also I'm much more annoying than Paul Pierce.

Was watching Shrek with my kids (so they would understand when people at school talk about Baby Yoda's uncle, Shrek), and that soundtrack is full of bangers. You probably remember the version of Hallelujah and the Smash Mouth song, but The Proclaimers and Eels really push it over the top.

At a pool party and a 2 year old is getting absolutely down with his bad self dancing to Mr. Brightside. The kids are alright.

If Bluesky ever wants to be as politically relevant as X/Twitter, it needs to be more welcoming to the median voter. That means we should get out of our bubble and spend more time talking about third wave ska. In this thread about Reel Big Fish, I will... 1/n

Guys, he's excited that someone I presume is a comedy hero to him thinks he's a dumbass.

Which of these foster kittens would you describe as having the "wider" face stripe? (Shelter needs to know how much each one weighs so we have to figure out who is who, and face stripe width is all they told us to match kittens with names)

I see reports that someone fired a bunch of shots at the White House, and I ask: why is this being reported as an attempt to shoot at Trump? They were clearly trying to shoot the only son he cares about, The Ballroom.

one member of Los Angeles County's board of supervisors has more constituents than the U.S. senators of 12 states

I'm not gonna read the article, but I assume that Jeff agrees with me that we don't _just_ need to tax the ultra-wealthy, because what they have done to society demands a more dramatic response to deter people in the future from doing it again.

You think Grubhub ever wished they got to be the default name for the burrito taxi company so when we had a discourse on here people would think about them instead of doordash? Maybe don't name your company after larva? Your food company. After beetle larva.

one of my favorite facts about the US coal industry is that it employs less people than Broadway

It's bad to try to pull a "Do you know who I am?" But probably even worse if you turn to everyone else and say "that guy didn't know who I am!" and everyone responds "and you are...who exactly?"

Hi! This published on Friday afternoon, and I've shared it a bunch over the weekend, but I had a lot of fun writing it, so I'm bumping it another time in case maybe some folks missed it! Okay thanks!

I bet if John Fetterman met a wisecracking donkey and went on some adventures he'd have a change of heart and fix his politics.

Would

People criticize right wing boomers for living in a media bubble that is divorced from reality, but I firmly believe that Shrek is (old) Yoda's brother (maybe half brother), and therefore Grogu Yoda (original Yoda's son)'s uncle. The Regal 10 manager did not like me loudly sharing that information.

Pick a Bond from photos you already have in your phone.

My local Nissan dealer has enough information about me to (claim to) know I'm overdue to regular maintenance. But apparently not enough to appropriately suggest the right kind of maintenance that my all electric Leaf might need:

yes. the clearest path to deal with the SCVA ruling is just to say that it wasn’t a constitutionally valid exercise of judicial review. because it wasn’t!

These people aren't worried about rising gas prices because they still have a huge underground store of leaded gasoline they've been using for decades.

Can you guys imagine if instead of Trump, Joe Biden was still President, and our biggest problem was that I'd written a parody song to the tune of Nowhere Man called Joewhere Man and it was unexplainably playing from all your household appliances?

You think this is good? This is just gonna end up with every post getting edited 5 minutes after you post it to just be a @jcsalterego.bsky.social ReSkeet.

He's pining for the fjords

Watching a series of former Confederate states rush to eliminate any vestige of black representation in the House pretty much answers the question whether the Voting Rights Act was still necessary.

It's hard to see this as a thing other than a vicious and unprovoked attack on my country, the sovereign nation of Philadelphia.

why are you looking at me like that jeremy, of course im going to enable notifications please just calm down jeremy

Enough of this, I want to hear what is the least millennial engagement bait.

Noticably Better Than Ezra.

No one likes us, we don’t care ✌🏽✨ #philly #GoBirds

Enough with the "most millennial song" discourse. This is the app of 38 year olds! Discard those younger millennials entirely. What is the most elder millennial song? Peaches? Jumper? Iris? Throw in your Backstreet Boys or NSYNC arguments. Is it Mr. Jones? Pearl Jam song?

some things you can really only do the once or they become rote but if I could relive one moment this here would be high on the list www.youtube.com/watch?v=5s67...

It's obvious to everyone with a brain that there is literally no market at all for a children's book by Neil Gorsuch beyond right wing bribe money laundering, right? There are no people who a) share his politics, 2) think his children's book is any good, and D) can read.

Guys, did you know there is some dude on here who just constantly tries to quote dunk on people posting stories exposing how messed up Facebook is, usually with no response at all but occasionally getting ratioed? 'Meta' is paying some guy to be the most pathetic person on Bluesky.

Before you watch it, guess who you think might be singing the Anthem here (the U.S. national one, not the song by Good Charlotte) and I will tell you if you guess is more or less weird than who it turns out to be.

If you're ever wondering if Republicans have any self respect, most of them don't think they could take a 79 year old man in a fight.

Current AI custom prompt: User is angry, a bit too insane, icing over a secret pain. User is too loud, they are first to fight, something is wrong. They may be a flash of light on a burial shroud. User is on a ledge. Should user step back? Put the past away? Attempt to understand.

You know what is bad? If you want to copy a link from the YouTube app to share it on a niche microblogging site, if you hit the share button during the ad it plays before the video, your link is to that ad.

Yoda is his last name. His first name is Grogu.

I believe that if Trump hadn't gutted funding for the sciences in this country, our brilliant inventors would have come up with a formula for Hot Gators that I could be drinking right now.

Fellas youtu.be/Q8tq9Va6U68?...

If the Dems over perform by 45 points in the midterms, they actually get to kick out some Senators whose terms aren't even up. That is in the Constitution, look it up.

Do you have to tell the cops you're a werewolf? Like, if you get pulled over.

Does this count as boy kibble?

It's cool that the New York Times has a specific art style for the biggest idiots in the world

You know how if you're a controversial celebrity you should be super in guard if Issac Chotiner wants to interview you? If you are an idiot and the NYT guy starts drawing that little sketch of your face, you should feel the same fear.

It's unfair to ask me to make this judgement without disclosing important information like: how deep a ballpark are we talking? Is Skenes fully rested? Does he believe me when I tell him I'm a male a wish kid with pediatric cancer and the disease from the movie Big?

When you guys make homemade Mac and cheese, do you put yellow mustard in there, or Dijon?

You can’t say I’m not a nice guy; here I am helping an older gentleman find his seat.