Happy Caturday 😎

I’m doing a “your mom” meme of the day over on BlueSky up until Christmas. Anyway, I thought this particular one is perfect for Mastodon 😎

The ultra-rare Caturday / Movember toot. You’re welcome 😎

When it's #caturday and you should be partying, but you got to think about deep stuff first. #cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #humor #humour

Bumblebee educational content 😎

🙋‍♂️

Dad Joke content - you’re welcome 😎

Classic meme content, you’re welcome 😎

It’s hard to feel nostalgic when you can’t remember anything.

Valid question 🤔

I need to self report I was singing Christmas songs the day before yesterday I’m very sorry

This would totally be me 😎🤘

So has anyone seen this 😉

Some good tail #catsofmastodon #caturday #orangecat

Happy Caturday 😎

Salacious Relationship content 😎

“I have a jar of Vaseline” 80’s sext…

Point - counterpoint 😎

EVERYONE LOVE JOE TWICE AS HARD TO MAKE UP FOR IT DO IT!!!! I AM!!!!!!!! https://fuckaas.space/@jmaggard/115403744048863519

At the coffee shop, sitting beside a table of BMW drivers talking about BMW things. So what I’m trying to say is I now know what it feels like to be in Hell…

Sweden, honestly WTF? Spotted in our local paper - Seafood Cake recipe 😐

Damn 😢

Happy Caturday 😎

I said to myself, “Self, you cannot pick up your phone when you wake up in the middle of the night. You need sleep.” “Absolutely!” lied Self

there is a man in this bookstore who came in looking for kamala's book and then asked about both Maddow and fucking bill o'reilly's books? what kind of a sick cable news freak are you sir

Every wound Is a proving Ground. Every scar, A victory. #poetry

They should invent a brain that lets you sleep

Nickelback content 😎

Of all the zones. I like cal the most

I say something funny somehow —> people follow me —> I post poetry —> people unfollow me. Follow me for more fedi tips.

RIP Ace #kissarmy 😢

[eating a bulb of garlic like an apple] huh this recipe could use more garlic

A dozen warm cider donuts could fix me

Ketamine content 😎

911? I have the hiccups!

Oh they’re called boosts? I was hearing boobs, sorry

in what level of hell do you find in person group meetings

Ein Freund hat mir einen Fotogruß von der Kürbisausstellung in Ludwigsburg geschickt 🖖🏼 #startrek

Bluesky servers went down. Just like your mom

Hello sharks. You’ve all felt water misters on a hot day. BORING. I’m introducing the Diet Coke fizz mister

It must be settled: 80s: 1. Metallica 2. Slayer 3. Anthrax 4. Megadeth 90s: 1. Megadeth 2. Tied (each had 1-2 masterpieces) 00s: 1. Slayer 2. Megadeth 3. Metallica 4. Anthrax 10s: 1. Anthrax 2. Megadeth 3. Slayer 4. Metallica 20s: 1. Anthrax (you'll see) 2. Megadeth 3. Metallica

wife: don't forget the umbrella when you pick up the kid. me: I won't, don't worry. 5 minutes later. wife: plese don't forget the umbrella! me: I won't, I already put it next to the door. 10 minutes later in the car: I forgot the umbrella.

ok so far the fine people of philly absolutely remind me of an episode of Abbott Elementary lmao can't wait to encounter the Always Sunny contingent

You’re allowed to ghost people in October. It’s festive.

Dropping some motivational content because I care 😎

You’re in his DMs, I’m in his therapist’s notes. We are not the same.

okay my boobs got a job [minimum wage] what other body part can i put to work

Apparently they are rebooting Fear Factor which is odd because I’m pretty sure I’ve been on Fear Factor since 1/20/17

you where so busy worrying about the labubu on your shelf that your forgot to mend the labubu in your heart