instead of reading instructions or attempting to problem solve just phone IT

hit reply all every time who cares let the world burn

Is there a term for posts that aren’t bangers? If not, can it be busters lol

in what level of hell do you find in person group meetings

global warming is just earths fever as it fights off a sickness

okay my boobs got a job [minimum wage] what other body part can i put to work

if you stay grumpy you dont have to get grumpy

my skull cracks open and my thoughts swirl up into the sky my feelings creating stars that shine back down on me sitting still and finally ever so quiet

hanging on by a thread sounds way too cute and diy for what it feels like

the worlds economy is almost as unstable as i am

The thing to remember about social media is that it's human beings all the way down

everything is a joke but nothing is funny anymore

everything is a joke but nothing is funny anymore

[husband] why does it feel like you haze me as soon as I get home [me] you get home during rush hour

a less traditional workout plan is to carry the weight of your decisions everywhere you go

[eating a bulb of garlic like an apple] huh this recipe could use more garlic

i thought id run afoul of quicksand in my adult life but its the internet i cant get unstuck from

i thought id run afoul of quicksand in my adult life but its the internet i cant get unstuck from

If you can read this, you're awesome.

girl are you the tower of babel because you are stacked in defiance of god and I cannot speak coherently when you go down

how many apps do i have to flip through to see god

the old lady who lived in a shoe just loved her manolo blahniks so much she decided they were home

its no surprise ragebait articles have so many photos those that read them miss their fairytales

interest is just the extra flavour you get when you let your debts marinate

a zombie apocalypse is probably too good for us

mark carney only got elected because he knows how to run the ferris wheel

i bet people in the white house call him frump cause he always looks disheveled

of course france elected macron hes named after the frenchest cookie the macaron

i refuse to wear prints nope i will not wear any williams or harries

maybe putin is so mad because his name is dangerously similar to poutine

what we really need to ban is finger guns im sick of everyone looking so cool all the time

climate change deniers just want to dress slutty on halloween without getting cold

i wonder if the fossil record of 2025 will be able to see how many monsters masquerading as human there were

maybe if we dont want hyper inflation we should stop feeding the economy sugary treats

chatgpt just reads everyones diaries and thinks it knows reality

is it just me or are we about a year away from being kept from rockin in the free world?

a less traditional workout plan is to carry the weight of your decisions everywhere you go

20 hours of uninterrupted screen time a day would surely fix me

a simple and easy way to turn invisible is age

i know the earth isnt flat because no company is trying to sell me a trip to see the edge of it

[eating a bulb of garlic like an apple] huh this recipe could use more garlic