[venting] everything that could go wrong today is the package i dropped off at the prepaid postage table at the post office hasn't been scanned and there's apparently just nothing anyone can so about it i can't get anyone at my apartment complex OR the management company to answer the phone […]

new, terrible sequel to The Ring just dropped

going to CBT for a CBT kink

"Shortly after his graduation from Dartmouth, Byrne suffered from testicular cancer; he recovered, but three bouts of the cancer in his 20s left him hospitalized nearly three years and in convalescence for three more." how many balls and how much microplastics did the dude Have?

i regret to report to you that i have the 'i have one daughter' song stuck in my head

RE: https://mastodon.social/@schwegler/115384373024192862 "so many kids love my ugly car that i keep toys in it to hand out to them" is the thought pattern of a broken broken brain still not over this who thinks like that? my mommy Literally told me to not take gifts from strangers in weird […]

grass-fed labubu

MY main takeaway from this article is that a concerning number of #cybertruck owners keep toys for children they don't know in their ugly, ugly cars https://www.wired.com/story/owning-a-cybertruck/?_sp=217febd8-c3fd-4cd3-a37b-12983fcc630c.1760625389088

i shall nto rest until i have the correct numbre of follwoers (0)

rear window remake where hes watchign his doorbell camera the whole time

desperately wanting to watch The Celebrity Traitors but refusing to learn how to use a VPN on my TV

when i eventually lose enough weight to have cheat day, I'm gonna eat so much food at the nearest combination pizza hut and taco bell

"we've got a great part for you! gonna be huge! you're Heinrich Himmler’s Masseur"

RE: https://mastodon.social/@schwegler/115384037909110206 left something at home turned around to get it even though it would make me run a little late passed a big wreck that Just happened on my way in to the office

did that thing your mom always talks about this morning

911? I have the hiccups!

i’ll put your ham in my fridge

“they really had it right in the 50s” but not the racism and xenophobia, just all the benzodiazepines and amphetamines

double fisting for democracy

spot roasting for freedom

reddit is great cause you'll read a funny(ish) comment and then scroll down and notice a dozen other people also thought it was funny, kept scrolling, forgot they saw it, and then posted it as an original idea

zenon girl of the 21st century had an aneurysm?! :(( https://people.com/general-hospital-kirsten-storms-brain-surgery-aneurysm-11829552

t-shirt that says "brad i cheated on you on that business trip to sheboygan"

subsidizing the country taking over selling soy to china from US farmers after the tariffs is both sad AND funny "American farmers have also voiced frustration, noting that China has shifted soybean purchases from U.S. producers to Argentine growers this year."

this song has been stuck in my head for Weeks, thanks insta algorithm https://song.link/s/0SqXYMHELy6S2SQoOIKNqn

just spent All my money that i got paid at midnight on bills and groceries, AMA

not a shitpost not an earnest post a secret third thing

fictional rich people Are more interesting on the whole, but that's just because they have time to actually Do Shit and not just work all the fucking time

climbed the stairs from the basement to the top (5th) floor at work twice today started yesterday, but i’m gonna try and do it every day and track it until im no longer out of breath and wanting to die at the end #schwegstairs

IDK why more people who are in to AI aren't also into UBI; the future they envision really doesn't work without UBI

the throatzilla with that godzussy

three historical ‘John Tyndall’s and all So different

"Thiel then did the math: the probability of Musk’s death in the coming year would effectively mean giving $1.4 billion to Gates." So, what kind of probability are we talking? Or should I not get my hopes up?

when gaga said 'i want your whisky mouth all over my blonde south,' i really felt that'

The US anti fascist song is apparently homegrown Ghostbusters theme, not imported Bella Ciao. www.independent.co.uk/news/world/a...

the throatzilla with that godzussy

it’s shitposting because of the toxoplasmosis

it’s shitposting because of the toxoplasmosis

referring to potatoes as “the master race” because of of how fucked up the shape of those dudes’ heads are is Really gonna fuck me over th eject time i go out to eat

just 100 followers away from never forgetting

can’t seem to snap out of feeling sad today

see, this guy gets it

17 38

noo dont undergo apotheosis youre so sexy haha

bigger palette with bigger pans (plastic lined too!!!)

i can never take a pic of them together where violet is more tgna just a pair of eyes, how here’s a bonus pic #cats #catsofmastodon #violet

i hate it when guys

RIP Miss Major Griffin-Gracy. The legendary trans activist died on Oct. 13, surrounded by her loved ones, according to an announcement from her nonprofit, The House of gg. Here's @19thnews's tribute to her. “When younger people call me mother, or grandmother, I feel as though it’s an honor. To […]

its so funny to call california the biggest state in the USA . texas is seething. alaska is used to it

You’re allowed to ghost people in October. It’s festive.