Last night my daughter wouldn’t stop crying before bed bc she feels fat and ugly. She’s seven. WTF?!?!!!! This breaks my heart. I thought we had more time before this begins. I hate society.

The remote coworker who has to tell you every. Single. Thing. They. Do. "Going to make some soup!" "System is slow, going to restart!" "Need to go to the basement to find a broom!" "Taking a phone call from school!" We're not 911 operators. Just do what you need to do, girl. JFC

This immunity blend juice from Aldi is going to mix great with vodka.

Yknow if you play Bubba Sparxxx when I’ve been drinking liquor then what do you expect?

The man hitting on his nail tech (who clearly does not want to chat) just told her that Home Alone “isn’t really a Christmas movie” and this is why men should not be allowed in nail salons.

Not sure why but Lady Gaga is hitting just right today

My Jewish friends have told me lately they don’t feel safe. This is why I’m lighting a menorah in my front window during Hanukkah. I’m not Jewish but I want them to feel less alone.

Husband is probably getting laid off. There goes our insurance. What a joyous holiday season!!!!

I got dressed to go to the gym then I just laid on the couch and cried. Is that the balance wellness influencers are talking about?

This entire weekend

DAAAAMMMNNNNN Once again, The Onion nailed it.

I hate the holidays now. I don’t know why I think every year will be different. It’s just some new disappointment every time. I can’t seem to learn the lesson: stop being optimistic.

Nevermind. Fuck everything. I do t have shit.

I've got the holiday blues. Anybody got a cure? Wrong answers only.

Who has made this 🤣

Pantone...you really messed up.

Remember: you're not heavy, he's just weak. Sage wisdom from @feloniousmunk.blacksky.app

I got into an fight with my dad about the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders so I guess we've kicked off the holidays!!!

putting the ASS in traditional thanksgiving green bean casserole

I love it when my kid's school sends out a message "contact This Person for any questions or issues" with no contact information. How? Where? Do I just go to the playground and shout their name?

These images are incredible. Clean air and water is more important than money.

Who's watching Pluribus?? Can we talk about how much I love "Kim Wexler"??

Do I really have to attend the virtual holiday luncheon??

gofund.me/7811d7722 Please help our neighbors have a happy Thanksgiving with full bellies. Give what you can.

Fine. Fine. FINE. FIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE! I'll listen to a podcast about the Edmund Fitzgerland. This is the danger of social media.

There goes my temporary hope that Democrats start fighting the way they need to. Dick Durbin, you're a disgrace.

Here in Chicago we’re really into molecular gastronomy as evidenced here 😹 @fartsandwich.bsky.social open.substack.com/pub/foodisst...

One of the biggest joys of becoming a parent is eating your kid's Halloween candy when they're not home.

Copywriter without an art director partner making their own cover slide

I canceled Spotify bc they are running ICE recruitment ads but goddamn do I miss it already. Apple Music just ain't it. (Yes, I know they're bad too but husband is already paying for a family plan soooo......) Want to like Qobuz but they don't have any podcasts. AAAAARRGGGHHHHH!

Thinking of wearing my huntr/x hat, No Kings shirt and a Lafufu and going as 2025 for Halloween.

FACTS about SNAP: -35% to white people (largest share) -90% to people born in 🇺🇸 -86% to households with kids -70% work full time but aren’t paid a living wage (aka corporate welfare)

Meanwhile I housed my birria tacos without so much as a drop of grease on my pretty shirt. #pro

The dude next to me ate his tacos with a knife and fork and HE’S NOT FOREIGN. America is a disgrace.

Looks like it’s a whiskey and mashed potatoes kind of Sunday, just like Scriptures foretold.

Canceled Spotify subscription. Fuck ICE. And fuck Joe Rogan while we're at it.

NGL: Feeling pretty down and paralyzed today by the world. I can't stop thinking about all the people ICE is hurting in my city, the families ripped apart. They are terrorizing us. And there's not a goddamn thing I can do about it.

The president of the United States posted a video of him defecating on the American people. Many in my profession normalized it. This is a big reason why we are where we are.

Wow, everyone is HATE-ING Jared Leto in this new Tron movie.

LinkedIn, you are fucking worthless. Yet, I have to use you. *angry noises*

I needed the shark on wheels this morning. Thank you, Tulsa.

Oh Sherman...

Well I'll be damned. Seems like electric toothbrushes do make a difference.

People outside of Chicago, please spread this news. This is really happening. Everyone needs to know this. blockclubchicago.org/2025/09/30/f...

Do we think all these military generals are going to follow orders to attack us?

Happy Rosh Hashanah to all my chosen peeps!

The good news is Tylenol doesn't do shit for pain when you're pregnant. SO IT'S ALL FINE EVERYONE HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA WE FUCKED

Found some comfort watching Marshawn Lynch go to Cuba and teach Irish kids how to play football. N Yo City was just a nice respite from the world.

Reminder to everyone PLEASE drive carefully through places where children are around. Schools, neighborhoods, parks. We live across from a school and people f*ckin fly down our quiet, residential street. My heart breaks for this family. blockclubchicago.org/2025/09/19/w...

Happy to fight fascism by having messy hair, slutty makeup, tattoos and a big nose. nyctastemakers.com/the-clean-gi...