"Why Cannes Still Matters," by Someone Going to Cannes

"Iconic" now means "a thing you've seen before"

Here's why Ferrari's $640,000 EV is a big miss, according to a guy who got a great deal on his certified preowned Subaru Outback

There are blank canvases everywhere for those with the vision to perceive them

The bank that just bought my bank is so excited about it. As they should be, this is normal! They have experienced success and are inviting me to share in their joy. Yet strangely I feel... nothing. What is the matter with me? Am I depressed?

A beautiful woman named Timesheet Compliance keeps emailing me

Too old for drugs, so now I go into meetings completely unprepared. What a rush.

The clients have signed off on the idea. Now add a new stakeholder who hasn't seen anything but holds all the power.

Sitting on a zoom by myself for 15 minutes. Pretty sure the meeting isn't happening, but this is the only quiet time I've had to myself all day....

Honestly same

Funny that when you withhold attention from your apps they get anxious and start messaging you just like people

It's ok babe you can stay here as long as you like

Told someone I had jury duty this week and they said, "Cannes?"

Hey I know this is a generalization based on one person's experience (mine), but I'm going to need you to accept it unquestioningly as a meaningful societal/cultural indicator

Leaving my laptop cracked open because my agents are scared of the dark

No one here at jury duty knows that last night I was at the Webbys watching Machine Gun Kelly speak lovingly of his friendship with Pete Davidson

Wow special Webbys edition of the Onion, you didn't have to go so hard

It's fine to nap a little during meetings. Elite performers understand this.

Is an office meant to be this cold

I guess I am an artist, because I am personally responsible for several of these

The addition of reaction emojis to every work productivity platform implies, fascinatingly, that people are meant to have feelings while on these platforms

Hey the news isn't all bad!

The experience of seeking external validation as a creative person in advertising

Yes my work is messy, error ridden, borderline unintelligible... as an intentional statement of rebellion against the inhuman perfection of AI

He is unresponsive. Oh my god. No like he's not replying to my slacks.

Love this #collab

I'm not a hater, I'm a copywriter

The internet may be forever, but nothing legitimizes like print

Designers when you ask them to add punctuation to a headline

If you are a celebrity, right now a creative team somewhere in the world is proposing something that will force you to come to terms with where your love of self ends and your love of money begins

Tragic news: meeting ice-breaker has resulted in a number of people falling through

Sorry I was multitasking, and none of the tasks was this one

I love it when an ad assumes I'm going to read a fictional text exchange

We are living in a golden era of product design, in that everything is constantly mid-design, even post-launch. Perpetual beta. Does the product work the way it is supposed to? Small-brain thinking! When everything is kind of broken, everything is an opportunity to keep designing.

No one watches meeting recordings, but maybe if we started clipping them?

Why not make things others will want to be nostalgic about

2/3 guests on radio programs sound like they had absolutely no idea they were going to be interviewed on a radio program that day

This two-word tagline designed to say nothing and be translatable in every language on earth is our intellectual property. It came from our intellect.

Still getting the hang of things that first week of mandated RTO

"What does success look like?" is such a funny question. My definition may not be yours. I cannot dictate the path your journey will take. Maybe success will be felt and not seen at all- OK we're almost at time can we please get through the rest of these slides.

It must feel so good to be rested on if you are laurels

If a commercial shoot is the closest we get to film, then the pitch is our theater. We're doing it live! Anything can happen. Lines will be forgotten and improvised. An audience member might take a phone call. You just don't know.

Your eyes are the window to your soul. And your glasses are the window to whatever you're doing on your laptop instead of paying attention to this meeting.

replying "industry plant" to people's bf/gf hard launches on Instagram

It's not a price increase. It's a price UPDATE. Important news about your price. The story of how your price may -- or may not -- be changing. Breaking! Extensive fact-based reporting about your price that we are sharing in the interest of helping you stay informed and engaged.

My feed after clicking 1 (one) post about Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff

Marketing is so uncool they had to invent the term "industry plant" just so people under 40 could feel comfortable talking about it out loud

It's question everything -- or not, whatever -- weather in NY

We would like to see ideas ASAP. We need to kill things.