The internet is probably the worst invention ever.

I keep forgetting this exist

I keep forgetting this one exist

Gene Hackman is one of the reasons I wanted to be an actor. He’s one of the greatest who ever lived. RIP Gene & Betsy.

Elon Musk getting called out by an actual astronaut is like a security guard getting called out by a cop.

A job, wife, three children, video gaming addiction, sleep, TWO social media accounts. Some things gotta give... wife.

A modern version of Peter Pan where they get Tinker Bell to fly again by screaming "woke" at her instead of clapping.

I might have to delete my Twitter account now...

i need a 52 year old man with $800 billion to impregnate my wife . i am worried our offspring wont be sufficiently feeble and/or annoying

We’ve lost Minnesota. 🚨 This is not a drill.

Can't believe Twitter is now nothing more than a harem for a creepy, rich 53 year old man with translucent skin.

Elon Musk having a kid with a right-wing influencer makes me think that he went full republican because too many liberal women said, "eww... no."

"But if we didn't have billionairs what is there to strive for?" I dunno, just being a decent effen human being perhaps?

Rename Mar-a-lago "Epstein Island"

Seems like the most corrupt thing anyone can do is contribute $200,000,000 to a presidential campaign to guarantee a position in a made-up organization that handles government spending. I mean, sure, that's what anyone who uses their brain would think.

It's not that I don't want government spending evaluated and accountable. It's that I don't think a drug addled, divorced billionaire edge lord and his puppet president actually have the American peoples best interest in mind.

Can't believe this country might fall because half of it is dangerously stupid.

I could never hate a country that gave us Rush.

I love Canada.

It's incredible that it only took less than two weeks for things to go bad.

"Do not, my friends, become addicted to groceries. They will take hold of you, and you will resent their absence!"

He may not lower the prices of goods and services and you may lose your house and that medical debt is crippling but at least Trump will put billions into making American brand AI which will most likely take away your job.

GD tweet went viral over there and now I'm stuck in that hell again.

Coffee gonna get expensive lol

Sup? Dipping my toes in the shallow end for a bit before I wade back into the cesspool.

"Why can't we simply nuke the fires?"

Calling it the "Gulf of America" will certainly help lower the price of groceries, right?

That Cybertruck exploding in front of a Trump property is pretty insane when you consider it wasn't even raining.

Jimmy Carter dying before he got to see The Batman Part 2 really makes me sad.

There needs to be a vigilante who goes around smashing high intensity headlights.

On the tenth day of Christmas my American love gave to me... another school shooting. ...jfc.

Seasonal depression locked in.

I heard RFK Jr. is floating the banning of the polio vaccine so seems like a good time to remind folks that RFK Jr. was vaccinated with this same vaccine & therefore is at no risk of harm himself Kinda like when he publicly was against the covid vaccine yet privately required his guests to have it🙃

Kids are awesome ...until they age off the children's menu.

(Slowly closes PornHub)

Spotify Wrapped told me I'm in the top 4% of listeners as far as hours listened. Need to reevaluate my life.

"Won't somebody think of the CEOs?!?!"

My daughter told me when I die the thing she'll remember me most for is the time I told her "There's no greater bond than that between a man and his favorite sandwich shop" and I feel like I've solidified my legacy.

My most hated form of human being is people who wear shorts when it's 50° or below and say, "It's not that cold."

I need an MMO that gives me the feeling Star Wars Galaxies gave me.

Back to back food holidays needs to stop.

Honestly trying to wrap my head around how a millionaire and a billionaire aren't the "elites" they so claim to be against.

Apparently he's a bottom

Weapon Added To Each Thanksgiving Place Setting In Preparation For Blowout Family Argument

It’s important to pace yourselves tomorrow. I made this handy guide to help👇

Forcing my family to watch all the Fast and Furious movies on Thanksgiving.

When you're a kid you assume super glue is so powerful that you'll likely accidently glue yourself to a car or something and that's how you die but then you grow up and realize it actually doesn't work ever.

"Woe to you, oh earth and sea For the Devil sends the beast with wrath Because he knows the time is short Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the beast For it is a human number Its number is six hundred and sixty-six"

I actually don't want this. I want this to remain lower. Quality over quantity. It's the only way to filter out the bots, trolls, and pretty much anyone who isn't here for engagement.