Oh it’s time to read down Venus

I want you to put the word out there: we back up. Understand? We back up.

You come to me, on the day of my son's wedding, which I am not attending

Oh yes, who could ever forget September 3, 1931?

Got suspended due to suspicious activity on my account. Had to change my password. Logged in to find that my profile contained a link to "Jerk Mate Live." Yeah, that's not me, sorry to disappoint everyone.

Book bans and destruction of books upsets me greatly. At the same time, of all the current fascist moves, this is one that I am 100% certain will fail.

Called IT support today and got them walk me through disabling everything on my work laptop that is pitching AI summaries to me while I'm trying to work. Get thee to a nunnery, AI, get thee gone!

I'm just going to say it I don't need to hide behind coded messages - the president has gone bad, and he should be thrown in the garbage and taken off the menu.

I just inhaled the dust at the bottom of the bag and now I have Dorito vision

Just had a conversation with a neighbor and it reminded me that Louisiana Catholics are very proud of the Pope and his New Orleans roots. I sure hope Trump and Vance keep going after him, it might lose them this religious red state.

Very inspiring to think that right now someone is writing a screenplay about a guy from Chicago who becomes the Pope, but he's secretly a crime fighting super hero with his HQ deep in the catacombs of Rome. At the end he has to fight his own brother who's an agent of the Antichrist.

Don't skip over the part where he takes credit for the Pope being an American. Truly the biggest narcissist to ever narc.

This was a wild couple of months. The moon landing was July 20, the Manson murders were 2 weeks later, a week after that was Woodstock, but everyone we knew talked about nothing but Hurricane Camille, which wiped out the MS Gulf Coast on Aug. 18.

Roses are red Violets are blue Jessica Mitford playing Boggle With Maya Angelou

We treat these people like royalty and then we're surprised when they don't have the slightest idea of the hassles that normal people deal with in this country every day.

But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother, to put it mildly.

It's great about the Afroman verdict. I hope those heavily armed crybully cops don't go after the jurors. Officer Poundcake was trying to work up a death stare at the end there.

They’re telling me a great empire will be destroyed if I attack Persia. Even the oracles who don’t like me very much, very nasty, they all said to me, “Sir, it’s one of the great empires, and it’ll be destroyed. And all because you attacked Persia.” That’s what they’re telling me.

If we ever get our country back we need to institute an orderly process of issuing new social security numbers that have not been collected by the juvenile delinquents working for Elno Muks.

I grew up around a lot of poor, uneducated and unsophisticated men. Every single one of them knew better than to leave a hat on their head as a flag-draped casket passed in front of them.

due to current gas prices, i'm gonna need you to get out of my car and into my dreams.

Oh geez I need to eat before The Pitt comes on.

Can't wait to see her on Dancing With The Stars.

It looks like shingles. Outbreaks are very painful and are often triggered by stress.

I think about this tweet every time I feel something online start to curl its annoying little grip into my head

I'm afraid the young folks might not know that announcing and then unannouncing a 10-day shutdown of an international airport is clown show stuff. These people are idiots.

Thing about Obama and Mamdani is that they are charming. No one in the Trump family or in his orbit have any of the qualities that make other people like you or enjoy talking with you. These are things you can't buy, so they have no understanding of it.

Krewe du Vieux was great this year! Great floats, great crowds as always, and I'm already in my jammies, what a perfect night 🤣🤣🤣

We have the right to bring guns to protests, but judging by what happened yesterday the gun won't protect you and these cowards will use its presence as an excuse to smear you after they've killed you.

It's not easy to work up the silliness for Mardi Gras this year but damn it I'm trying my best. Here's some crabs and giant crawfish.

When did police start dressing like Fortnite characters? And what is camouflage good for in a city? Dress is a form of speech and we need to pay attention to the message we’re being sent.

House to house searches. People need to think about that. Unconstitutional, yes. Also very dangerous to everyone involved.

We lived in Jamaica for a year when I was a kid and I spent the whole year eating patties.

I'm not seeing any famous Republicans sending out Christmas cards this year with a photo of the entire family strapped with enough guns to take out the neighborhood.

My god, the bad news keeps coming. Happy Fuckin Holidays I guess.

So jealous of all the people who can see the aurora.

heartbroken to learn the pope sympathizes with the poor. how can i continue to believe in god

I still remember my grandparents phone number, disconnected for 30 years, and I remember when you only had to DIAL 5 digits if you were in town.

"These games are being degraded by the increasing use of professional tricks to stay alive! And I won't have it! So put on a good show, and there'll be plenty of money for the living and a decent burial for the dead." - Hegseth probably

Engraving anything on bullets is 🚩🚩🚩🚩

Don't trust that enthusiastic real estate lady.

Searching for old British newsreels from the 1940s on YouTube and up pops a very recent, very American, wildly anti-semitic video. Disheartening and depressing when this stuff intrudes no matter what you search for. 🤮

An interesting explanation of something I knew nothing about. With a cameo appearance by Pierre Trudeau.

I watched the first episode of the new Apple TV show "Smoke" and then had a weird dream that I was making toast and an electrical cord was draped over the toaster, glowing red from the heat. I live in an old wooden house and I don't think I'll be watching that show. 😱

It's disorienting when everywhere north of here is roasting while we're expecting only a balmy 92°. Of course we'll have 110° in the shade by August. Stay hydrated ya'll!

Only this group of mooks could make the US Army look like a ragtag bunch of prisoners on a forced march toward a firing squad.

You’ll be too young to remember, but there was a time when you could wake up as many as three mornings in a row and not find the world had lost its fucking mind.