Unreasonably excited for this.

The closest I’ll ever get to a go ahead and cheat manifesto. handleofbrendan.substack.com/p/inanity-an...

Sure hope somebody rhymed “want ya” and Hyundai “Elantra.”

I’m naming my racehorse: “Get Off Me Little Man!”

Rita Ora’s Agent Scores Singer Another Prime Crossword Puzzle Placement https://theonion.com/rita-oras-agent-scores-singer-another-prime-crossword-puzzle-placement/

If someone asks you what LODGE 49 is about, show them this.

Tsar von Fraüdstar is a pretty metal name.

S’barro Unchained

You know a movie is getting REAL artsy if in 2026 they have credits at the start.

Finally got an electric razor I can text message.

Sex is cool, but have you listened to Ozzy Osbourne’s criminally underrated 1988 album No Rest For The Wicked while reading Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman’s Dragonlance Chronicles trilogy?

Dear god, panic over ‘desalination plants’ has a certain homonymic idiocy that inevitably leads to ‘BRAWNDO! It’s got what plants crave!’

Guy invents fire and then complains about “how easy kids have it these days.”

Does CBS really think this is a great time for magicians?

A Will.I.am GPS called Here.I.am

March Madness brackets, the last refuge of Hegelian sports-based insanity metaphors.

When award shows still mattered.

The Office spinoff needs to pick up this thread.

We’ve grown complacent with ‘hint of lime’ technology. It’s supposed to be a treat!

Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse should produce a movie about a LOST superfan that kidnaps them and forces them to fix it.

Dan Simmons is definitely out there ‘glowering’ somewhere.

I want a Bugonia sweater.

Beginning to feel guilty because I think my dog knows what’s going on at the Olympics and feels like he’s missing out.

Running around firing both pistols in the air daring all comers to rhyme “kombucha” is indeed, such a vibe.

We can put Katy Perry in space but we can’t make frozen soft pretzel that will adhere a satisfactory level of salt?!

Country of Dog just won something.

That was a The Coup (Oakland) reference, no?

These Olympics are definitely responsible for another Zoolander sequel.

Speaking as a Wimbledon champion, that’s not how it works. You can’t just pass it on.

Adequate, adequate, adequate…

Shall I be mother?

Slop slop slop slop slop slop

Found a bookstore that stocks your novels

Vince Gilligan’s move is kinda create the world’s most interesting B plot character and then triple deke on the season finale.

Delayed because of both my own health stuff and Jimmy Cliff's untimely death meaning I had to rework it substantially, here at last is the latest episode of A History of Rock Music in 500 Songs. Roger Corman! George Melly! Charity records! It can only be the story of "Many Rivers to Cross"

You know that 2020’s dramedy with Jason Segel wearing a lot of sweater sports jackets and goes through therapy? The one where Murphy Brown is hooking up with Han Solo who likes singing Sugar Ray? No, the one where Sally Fields and Andre 3000 are like the Mystery Gang.

The death knell of TNR. If you don’t even use Century Schoolbook for your cultural hegemony you’re a clown.

My Neil Diamond portrayal rankings is still: Will Farrell > Steve Zahn = Jack Black > Jason Biggs = Hugh Jackman? Honorable mention to John Goodman backing up.

@threebeansaladpod.bsky.social we come from a long line of Switchblades.

“Y’onor, ladies, gentlemen, my otherwise so-called counselors, this case is long n’ scaley, like uh alligator’s tail.”

John Friendship and I were frontline grunts in the late 2000’s DC bamboo wars.

A Frasier reboot but after losing his psychiatry license due to a sports gambling addiction Frasier relocates to Quincy, MA where he opens an unsuccessful Seattle Kraken-themed sports bar.

I feel pretty safe from Frankenstein because the monster would just be called “Murphy.” Can you imagine? The scariest that could be is like a meathead from Southie.

Looking forward to naming the Noble Piece Prize winners for typos.

The great thing about an Odyssey Choose Your Own Adventure book is that at any point “turn to page ___ to just go home and kill all the dudes trying to bang your wife” works seamlessly.

Shipping up to Boston and The Downeaster Alexa are conceivably about the same one-legged fisherman.

I don’t care if they ever make another GTA but I would like to play NHL ‘94.

I really hope the Waiting for Godot with Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter has a scene where Vladimir threatens not to pull Estragon’s ripcord.

I believe it when he produces an oversized magnifying glass.

Add Sean Bean to the last season of White Lotus but keep his accent.