Mmmmmmffff

Injecting the last bit of copium I have that the two years of my life that I’ve put into grad school is worth it while our CEO spends 45 minutes of the all company town hall telling us that they are actively developing AI/expanding offshores to replace us

Memorial Day Weekend?? No thanks 🙂‍↔️ Why would I take extra time away from my happy place?

everyone has that one homie who deleted instagram so now you have to screen record and text them any funny reels you want them to see

T-minus 2 days until Will takes the first part of the CPA exam

I’m way too old to be fighting for my life on this college group projects man, what do you mean Kyler hasn’t done their section and it’s due in 40 minutes

Taking my first section of the CPA exam in three days

I’m in your crypt telling mad lore to your ancestors bro

Not proud to admit that I Shazamed a song in public the other day and got absolutely Steely Dan-ed

*guy who wants to move to every city he goes on vacation to* “yeah I should move here”

Lmao

You know what, go ahead and throw a few more bucks on there so I can light myself on fire

Yeah I think it’s time

every time i see this i laugh really hard thank u rich 🙏🏼

Man Finally Good Enough At New Hobby To Understand How Bad He Is At It

The moggings will continue until morale improves

At my old job I used to have “Egg Time” where every day at 10:30am I would start playing “Feel So Close” by Calvin Harris and eat 1-2 hardboiled eggs

i enjoy referring to stuff that happened like 6 months ago as “back in my 20s”

Nobody has less to lose than the owner of a 2012 Honda Civic

When I turn 30 this summer you all have to finally let me peer pressure you into getting tattoos with me at the function

$5, half the old size and doesn’t even have the nasty gumball eyes man

Yall rockin with the Ice Cream Party Bus

Have advanced from a tax-maxxer to a real Taxaholic

Going to the gym so that I can hug people harder and pet my cats for longer

Copying Wills bit just this once

I do this to Nick after I yell at him for doing something bad and then I feel like I hurt his feelings

We’re baaaaaaaack

Chappell Roan getting dragged into the depths of hell on Twitter, I know Conor has to feel so vindicated rn

Using my lunch break to watch guys pour concrete with my hands behind my back

Regretting not teaching the boy HM01 when he was a puppy

Hey does anyone wanna hop on Slay the Spire 2 multiplayer

Performative Male Final Boss

Remember, you didn’t “lose” an hour over the weekend. You merely traded it in to get back to your real home faster 😁 Happy Effing Monday people!

Just saw a bird get a worm at this late hour. Much to think about.

Evil Daft Punk be like “Softer, Worse Than, Slower, Weaker” 🤣 Just a little thought experiment for ya, happy Friday

Might be the first person in history to have a major manga plot point spoiled by fortnite

Need someone to design a Solo Leveling Daily Quest system for me where I am rewarded with loot for completing CPA study sections and sent to a punishment realm with killer worms if I fail

BEANS BEANS BEANS (to the tune of FE!N Just a little thought experiment for ya, happy Friday

This started as a bit because this album is the poster child for White Male Music™️ but it turns out I am indeed the exact demographic that absolutely loves this shit and i havent turned it off in a week

Getting crushed by tax returns. In my hardest class to date. Studying for the CPA. The grind of a capitalistic society consumes my every waking moment. Olive Garden breadstick.

Defunctland piece on this in 2035 gunna go crazy

Hey me and the boys are taking enough edibles to experience ego death later if you wanna come thru

One of my favorite bits is wishing people happy birthday over LinkedIn

I Can’t Believe Nick Bought a Zoo