reasons for getting sent to the psych ward * sarah: tried to jump off a bridge * alice: tried to drown herself in a lake * enna: fucked off to the woods during a manic episode and froze half to death thinking he was a survivalist

making a bean dip so white that my mexican friend stopped responding when I told her about it

sorry I couldn't hear you over the sound of me closing all these windows. it's the only way I know how to open my door but it doesn't work every time...

bunny lee mulligan...

brennan left mulligan??

for your punishment you must wear the dog custom it is not allowed to go home.

shrimply bunny

they should invent a bunny you can stack

a laptop with a gun in the cup holder

robot diverting power to its horny circuits and getting so hornt that it almost falls over

need a friend to pour oatmeal in the back of my diaper and then leave

you know what *quickscopes you*

when you're jorking it and you really gotta make it count

girl who becomes increasingly bitcrushed the more flustered she gets

guy who always knows whether judith butler is in the news because he's been sitting on a "butlerian jihad" joke that he knows is gonna blow up if he can find the right opportunity for it

the check is: if (xmove > MAXMOVE/2 || ymove > MAXMOVE/2) { it's supposed to trigger if either your x or y speed is greater than half the max speed. but if you're going south or west, your xmode or ymove is negative.

guy who took the "chinesium" thing a little too seriously and now he refers to japanese made products as "nipponium"

the difference between crocodiles and alligators is that crocodiles have a bonus to their Constitution saving throws and alligators have a bonus to their Armor class

The piss tank on the ISS is now 51% full.

the sca doo

Samus with a Jacket

deadly stabbing would be a great name for a band

smart fella

The process of blinding an angel

guy listening to the intro to violent pornography: ah, finally, a normal one by those freaks at system at a down when the vocals start: goodness that man said a word

guy who is wearing a bunch of bondage gear but he isn't even being restrained

all females over 35 and went to a public school don't know any new math, all they know is charge they pussy in the sink etc etc etc work with me here I don't know this

guy who,, weed makes him shit. him self

Puyo Puyo comic by Rei Mikamoto, from the Puyo Puyo Sun Official Guidebook.

regular ahh show

sorry about all the broken glass all over me, I work at the broken glass factory

Ok so you see Mark Hammil and Malcolm McDowell on there and you’re thinking “amazing, incredible”. Alright let me tell you: John “Gimli Rhys Davies is in this game. Tom “Biff” Wilson is in this game. Mark Dacascos is in this game. Casper Van Dien is in this game. WALTON GOGGINS IS IN THIS GAME

Gatorade branded antifreeze

teenager on facebook: "back in '89... my hungry ass thought it was a toaster 🤣🤣😂 other guy on facebook: "with a picture like that, how can you have been alive in 1989?" teenager: "I'm a time traveler, that's a picture of me from when I was older"

"gooning" gummies

sorry wait I can watch movies on youtube? and the only thing is that they have ads? what??

filling the astronaut's air tank with oxygen and nitrous oxide because I don't know what nitrox is and I'm too scared of looking dumb to ask

why do they call it loud when. um. hm. uhh

washy ad jeffy but I death metal growl the names of all of the republican presidents (democrats if they were before 1950)

excuse me wiktionary??

turn on diarrhea mode for even better results

sora and riku have tboy swag

book (written by a white guy) in the ringu universe titled "The Well-Being of Your Well Being: Caring For A Sadako"

q-bert? like the dj?

why is mewmewmew longer than mew mew

whenever i bump into a wall too many times in a dungeon crawler i think of this gif

imagining a group chat for mmorpg enemies <boss> so there I was, in the boss room <lt> as one does <minion> as one does <boss> when the hero comes, but get this, she uses her dps rotation on me <minion> :nomit: <lt> :omegalul: