Excuse me, waiter? You mean to tell me that a Springfield cashewed this chicken?!

people keep saying Chag Sameach... like why do y'all like Borat so much all of a sudden

Sending love and light to all who celebrate Hanukkah - and especially to those who don't!

Friendly reminder that Philip Rivers endorsed Rick Santorum in 2012. Wishing him nothing but abject failure (which would also help my decrepit quadragenarian ass feel better about life)

Go socialized health care! Beat Army and Navy!

Guess I'll watch an episode or two of the gay hockey show, just for some context for The Discourse

All this time we thought Austin Powers was a parody of James Bond, when in fact he was a parody of Jeffrey Epstein.

It feels weird to be an avid gamer who doesn't care about the game awards. I generally play back two or three years for money and hardware reasons. Like I just finished Tokyo: Ghostwire. Maybe I'll play Clair Obscur in like 2028.

Sending JD Vance to Indiana to try and whip votes for the redistricting was a massive tactical mistake. If there's two states Hoosiers hate, it's Ohio and Kentucky.

Weaponize Papyrus † Comic Sans is a bridge too far, one I cannot advocate for ‡ I'm a big Jokerman fan but we have to stick with stock fonts here bc no one knows how to do anything anymore

Me making my bed: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck. Me laying in it: This feels the exact same as it did before, I only do this because of hygiene and social expectations

Movie you’ve watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel, Disney Animated or Pixar.

I'm at the combination

What can I say - I enjoy watching a middle-aged dad from Indianapolis play FIFA worse than me.

hello @profanity.accountant sir/ma'am/howyadoin. how naughty am i

I’ve played a lot of simcity but I didn’t know you could go pro

"I keep thinking that evil would like nothing better than to have us feel awful about who we are."

Finally getting some theological clarity on the ethics of reclining in one’s plane seat

Today is the first allowable day for Christmas music. If you need a break from the played-out classics, feel free to use this Spotify monstrosity, which I've been adding to for well over 10 years. open.spotify.com/playlist/7Dn...

Still having some infernal kidney stone pain, so I skipped family Thanksgiving this year. No matter - the true spirit of the holiday is Alice's Restaurant at high noon on KSHE, football, and The Last Waltz.

I know from the Nirvana stream he did during COVID lockdown that Post Malone is a genuinely talented musician. So it's terribly frustrating to see him continue to churn out absolute dogshit.

please enjoy brand new tingler POUNDED BY THIS DELICIOUS TOFURKEY ON THANKSGIVING out now here www.amazon.com/dp/B0G45479FL or on all patreon tiers www.patreon.com/posts/pounde...

Dying at the first time Swedish Chef sees Big Bird

Look at these little nuggets! www.twitch.tv/wildlifecam (If they're not there... they'll come back.)

Absolute bush league excuses. BUT if they can't hack it, I'd rather they wave the white flag now rather than cancel at the 11th hour like LouFest did. Plus, this leaves more air for Music at the Intersection, a more interesting and better-run festival on every level.

These kelly green Eagles thirds are messing with my head. I keep thinking they're the Jets.

He's a raaaat child / Why he always come-a eatin' the cheese

LAUGH AT THE THOUGHT OF EATING LUDES LAUGH AT THE THOUGHT OF SNIFFING GLUE ALWAYS GONNA KEEP IN TOUCH NEVER GONNA USE A CRUTCH I'VE GOT STRAIGHT EDGE

Good times @ TAB last night.

Geez, I know Canada's not a huge market, but the best they could do for the Grey Cup halftime show was MGK?

Tonight we remember our dear friend and bandleader Cleto 💙

Trump is a juggalo, confirmed

Oh man. If you need good vibes, Somebody Somewhere is worth a watch.

Gannett-owned TV stations and papers have the most bizarre, head-scratching design. An article will have an x icon in the top right corner, just BEGGING to be clicked even before you read anything. And what happens when you click it? You are x-ing out of the article, and you go to the home page?!

Absolutely horrible day to be a beer in Bloomington, IN today.

HEISMENDOZA

I want to hunt down Jaxson Dart's parents and yell at them for giving their son a stupid name.

Finally delving into Yellowjackets; sorry for missing the bus. But the short clip of Tracy Bonham's "Mother Mother" (one of my favorite alt 90s songs) at the beginning of S01E02 (iykyk) is SO CHOICE.

Rep. Yassamin Ansari has set up a table and this sign outside Speaker Johnson’s office.

Cheney was so evil that him dying actually lifted a curse

As a society, we should normalize croutons as a snack food. Like not just late night munchies, gremlin in the kitchen snack food. Put croutons in the snacks aisle with the chips and popcorn and shit.

Duuuust in the bin, all we are is dust in the bin

I hope Los Angeles riots like a mf tonight. But I hope they only burn down the rich parts.

Rules are rules.

Is there a way for the Jays to win, but for Drake in particular to lose?

Last chance to turn it off. On Monday, November 3rd, Microsoft will start using your LinkedIn data for AI training. And remember, you're opted in by default. To toggle it off 👉 Account - Settings & Privacy > Data privacy > Data for Generative AI Improvement.

Every time someone calls it "daylight savings time", God kills a kitten Please, think of the kittens

Shouldn't Ethel Merman have been... Ethel Mermaid?