Ivy Burns
@ivyburns.bsky.social
📤 76
📥 30
📝 68
frot daughter
pinned post!
dating a hebrew boy to feel a new alphabet on my clit
about 1 year ago
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i’m with 2 bad bitches and they both got subprime auto loans 😈🥶
27 days ago
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I'm so desensitized to woke shit that a pumpkin with a he/him lesbian carved in it is just normal to me
30 days ago
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the “two types of cats” are fighting inside me and the kiki one is enacting looney toons-esque plots
about 2 months ago
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coming home from exhausting 9-5 to also do all the house chores while my wife shows me the beat she made in fl studio
4 months ago
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hooking up with a drummer on some “am i rushing or dragging?”
4 months ago
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reposted by
Ivy Burns
baz
5 months ago
your white boyfriend is a bad inefficient engineer
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i always let the egg come first
5 months ago
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pleaing “death of the author” when questions about last nights drunk texts
6 months ago
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flying home to show my middle school bullies what a REAL fag looks like
6 months ago
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the difference between your freak and my freak is that i can still cum from kissy missionary
7 months ago
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im at ur girls crib doin poppers
7 months ago
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reposted by
Ivy Burns
robotess of theseus
7 months ago
robotgirl orgy call that networking
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reposted by
Ivy Burns
baz
7 months ago
white tboy in my hinge likes look like prezoh 🤤
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blocking the whole ass intersection doing donuts in front of a waymo
7 months ago
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it’s really nice how walmart lets you sleep in their parking lot. i’ll thank them by shoplifting from target :>
7 months ago
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*buying carbon credits with the money i made stealing catalytic converters*
7 months ago
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some days i want to get my eyeliner tattooed. other days i want to drive through iowa without be lynched. it’s give and take i guess
8 months ago
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fake major, now catch this drone strike
add a skeleton here at some point
8 months ago
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me, who misheard “frat party”: so when’s everyone gonna rub their dicks together?
8 months ago
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if you aren’t older than the baconator pls DNI
9 months ago
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i don’t owe you femininity ! ! ! i owe you $20 for the eighth you fronted me, and i swear i’ll have it by friday 😵💫🤧‼️
9 months ago
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reposted by
Ivy Burns
Bergs
9 months ago
they should make a separate economy for chill ass guys like me who don’t have cable news induced dementia
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as soon as they autocaps kick in the gigs up
9 months ago
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accidentally adding my cis friend to the tgirl group chat (we were talking about our plans to bomb yemen)
9 months ago
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reposted by
Ivy Burns
acab rangoon
9 months ago
stripper fingered herself and then gave me a wet willie
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accidentally invented a drinking game where sadie describes pokémon she’s seen and we try to figure out what the fuck she’s talking about
9 months ago
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phil ivey is the name of the greatest poker player of all time. it is NOT an appropriate response to the question “what are you gonna do over break?”
10 months ago
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dipping my swedish fish & friends in tito’s, it’s like they’re swimming ! ! !
10 months ago
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putting a single mini marshmallow in my mouth and expertly enunciating “chubby bunny”
10 months ago
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i keep coming up with great ideas and then finding out it’s a commune
10 months ago
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*flirtily* i like your outfit 🤭 (we’re both in straightjackets)
10 months ago
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having sex *solely* for the pleasure of the cuck in the corner. neither of us are enjoying this shit at all
10 months ago
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i love 3 things in this life: dp, dough, and dp dough
10 months ago
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applying to write for ella yurman’s new show by sending her a link to this account 🙏
10 months ago
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sex is like college: frequent and prolonged cry breaks
10 months ago
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reposted by
Ivy Burns
Ashley Gay
11 months ago
I feel like im almost here, I've almost won therapy
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is that a Husky Brand 5/16 in. 12-Point SAE Full Polish Combination Wrench in your pocket or are you just happy to see me
11 months ago
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twirling my tongue around the end of his tailbone while eating ass like it’s his clit
11 months ago
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reposted by
Ivy Burns
мαкαℓα ♡
11 months ago
if ur ever sad just shake your ass
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teaching an old doggirl to do new tricks on it
11 months ago
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quebec is hell on earth. all of the french people with none of the bidets
11 months ago
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i’m too manipulative to be in a polycule, as soon as a 3rd person shows up i’ve just founded another cult 🫢
11 months ago
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blaming my shitty lab report on DEI
11 months ago
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renting SUVs and leaving sardines in every crevice is both my favorite form of protest and an alluring metaphor 🤹♂️
11 months ago
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all the boys get rock hard when they look at my bangs… i must be some sort of greek mythological creature…? …
11 months ago
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reposted by
Ivy Burns
Luck
11 months ago
Lower rent to end polycules
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reposted by
Ivy Burns
more mr. nice guy
12 months ago
i did not "lunge" for the officer's weapon, your honor, i was actually really slick about it
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you WISH i had a pathetic white boy kink
12 months ago
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reposted by
Ivy Burns
𝚖𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚋𝚘𝚊𝚛𝚍.
12 months ago
#moodboard
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me during sex: hitler was such a dalek 😒
12 months ago
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