Life is short. Eat the Reeses cup.

do any of you out there with long hair ever think about if you just suddenly drop dead, all of your hairs you’ve shed will remain in your house tangled and wrapped around random shit haunting everyone for years to come? just me? ok.

My transformation into Santa is almost complete with every Christmas cookie I eat.

I bought new shoes and I can run really fast in case you are looking for a Hero

Not to brag but I do all my own stunts

My least favorite contact sport is Adulting.

Thou shalt not pretend that wanting everyone to have healthcare is “radical.”

My least favorite contact sport is Adulting.

"Be less Eyeore and more Tigger" - me, parenting

I‘m developing a phobia of German sausage. I fear the wurst

mcdonald's only giving me 9 chicken nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

"Be less Eyeore and more Tigger" - me, parenting

"When I Saw You"

I found the stairway

He talks too much of ghosts, these days, tobacco sweet in rusted fingers and the spindrift spit at his mouth as he lays out his defences in borderlines and picket fences, he speaks of love but none could tell and only smoke left between them in the threaded #mycelium of immaterial things #vss365

He delves his hands into wild holly & pine kissing my red hair, hot flesh burning where silver crests fire across our lips, where my heels left under mistletoe glisten like cascading flaming starlight, as we glow brighter with stolen love, fierier into the merry night.

I think at one point we all tried sneaking into a wardrobe, hoping to end up in Narnia!

Christmas may now commence!

i cannot lose to this casserole

Welcome to the North Swole

I came here to say dumb things and deep things and dumb deep things and deep dumb things.

Everything worth having takes work, determination and dedication. No thanks.

Sunset soliloquy

Get them before they sell out!

Love isn't what you do it's who you are. Be LOVE.

Love isn't what you do it's who you are. Be LOVE.

No better way to find out you’ve entered your white trash era than Dollar General ads suddenly appearing in your Instagram feed.

Seems legit.

Seems legit.

My favorite gift to receive is roses.

Dax drew this for me and now it is framed in my office

I'd like to speak to a manager about resigning from adulthood

Have you tried the new weighted Pitty blanket?

alien: I'll rule you all with an iron fist me: our leaders already do that alien: well then I'll strip your planet of its resources me: you're not gonna believe this

It’s 100% okay to lie to babies.

This was my most favorite view of all the times I've seen it

Dax drew this for me and now it is framed in my office

Is this where we post blue skies?

Driving around pointing at all the hills I’d die on

Dax painted this and I love it

Dax painted this

Contrary to popular belief there are very few posts about the sky here

That one time I was a time traveling Viking Pirate

How crazy you ask?

I'd like to speak to a manager about resigning from adulthood