Marshall Scott
@marshallscott.bsky.social
š¤ 6252
š„ 2941
š 6949
I am here to Bluesky
Apologizing to my boss that I havenāt tweeted about him in awhile
7 months ago
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Your honor, the prosecution has spent all their time taking about me, but more importantly, how are *you*
7 months ago
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Your honor, be honest am I cooked
7 months ago
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*holding up a 1,042 page document* Marshall Scott: your honor, I would like to submit this into evidence The Judge: this is just pictures of your lawyerās dogs??
7 months ago
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Do you ever think about how thereās infinite different versions of you that exist in peopleās minds cuz everyone perceives you differently and in some peopleās minds you donāt exist at all
7 months ago
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Bro I donāt think we saved the daylight bro
7 months ago
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Did we do it, did we save the daylight
7 months ago
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Sorry I ghosted you on Halloween
7 months ago
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Howās it goin
8 months ago
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Calling the police cuz someone turned the escalator into stairs
8 months ago
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Rubbing crushed Tylenol on my gums while easily walking up a broken escalator
9 months ago
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Freebasing Tylenol in the office parking lot
9 months ago
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I thought he got trapped in an elevator, are you telling me the escalator turned into stairs and he didnāt know what to do š
9 months ago
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Getting escorted outta the bar cuz I wonāt stop showing the bartender my old tweets
9 months ago
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If I skeet here If I just skeet here Would you skeet with me And just skeet at the world
9 months ago
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Calling my boss to tell him he sucks
9 months ago
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No I didn't see the Coldplay jumbotron thing I was busy looking at my wife
11 months ago
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Still canāt believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day
11 months ago
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Havenāt really been feeling it lately tbh
12 months ago
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No I didn't see Donald start WWIII I was busy looking at my wife
12 months ago
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Racist coworkers be like āIām going to work tomorrowā
12 months ago
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Punching a hole in my wall before bed
12 months ago
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And if I only could I'd make a deal with Grok And get him to be more racist -Elon Musk, alone in twitters headquarters shooting up ketamine
12 months ago
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Asking my dentist a question then sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies
12 months ago
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Donald Trump EXONERATED by *checks notes*.. the guy whose also trying to convince people Jeffrey Epstein is innocent
about 1 year ago
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Who the hell are Donald Trump and Elon Musk
about 1 year ago
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Completing CAPTCHAs just to feel alive
about 1 year ago
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Accidentally barked at my boss
about 1 year ago
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Sitting on the curb explaining to the garbage man that four stickers should be more than enough for him to haul me away
about 1 year ago
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Everyone logging on to bluesky cuz twitter is down
about 1 year ago
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Slipping the anesthesiologist a twenty and asking them to keep me under for a few weeks
about 1 year ago
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First date idea: we make an entire bag of pizza rolls and cyber bully your boss
about 1 year ago
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I wanna hear myself think again
about 1 year ago
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Iām a consumer of literature
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 year ago
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An ice bath but it's a shower that pelts you with golf ball sized ice cubes
about 1 year ago
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Going to the library to eat some books
about 1 year ago
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Just ordered a forklift certification from the dark web
about 1 year ago
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Still canāt believe the Cardinals elected the Pope with a rap battle and Leo won cuz he rhymed burial of Jesus with venereal diseases
about 1 year ago
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Should I tweet again or should I hit myself in the head with a shovel
about 1 year ago
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reposted by
Marshall Scott
I showed up 37 minutes late
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 year ago
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reposted by
Marshall Scott
Ah yes, another day
about 1 year ago
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Ah yes, another day
about 1 year ago
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I showed up 37 minutes late
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 year ago
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Sleeping in my closet just to feel alive
about 1 year ago
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Calling my boss to ask if he can get to work a little early tomorrow so we can get a head start on the day
about 1 year ago
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Saturday night with the boys shotgunning Four Lokos and doing some arts and crafts
about 1 year ago
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Driving around pointing at all the hills Iād die on
about 1 year ago
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I donāt even want to know 15 people
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 year ago
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Tried wearing two hats in a meeting and my boss flipped me outta my chair and let everyone hit me with sticks
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 year ago
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about 1 year ago
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