Well prepare for Deep Dish Jesus

We had @benbowlin.bsky.social on episode 1849 ‘Knee Bends For Liberals, Ken Grift-ey Senior’ - listen now! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t... @jackob1.bsky.social @thesofiya.bsky.social

So now Hayley Joel Almost is saying antisemitic stuff?! He didn’t even make The College Dropout

I think the most subtle way to be a hater is to put a period after congrats

“Picked for you” bitch I don’t know you

SEATBELTS ARE INCOMPATIBLE WITH TITTIES

UKRAINE “A sense of #humor is not just a #copingmechanism, but it is also an act of #resistance.” — @TheSofiya.bsky.social (Sofiya Alexandra) #Odessa #humour #jokes #hustleculture #survival #survivors #comedian #PutinsQuagmire #war #invasion #NATO #EU #US #RussiaInvadedUkraine #Putin #Trump

Demi Moore?! More like Permanent Moore!!! 😍

Let’s be honest Kylie Jenner’s the actor in the relationship

This is great to see. Kudos to @willbunch.bsky.social for writing this and to anyone out there taking part in the #TeslaTakedown.

If you'd like to help inform your neighbors about Tesla, here are a few quick factoids: Tesla lies about range: www.reuters.com/investigates... Tesla violates user privacy: www.reuters.com/technology/t... Tesla owners die at twice the industry average rate: www.roadandtrack.com/news/a629191...

Don't forget to divest your Tesla stocks if you're holding them. If you have an ETF or retirement fund, tell your broker or fund manager to ditch $TSL. Paper billionaires like Musk live and die on their stock value.

My ex drives a Tesla and I’m not saying that if you get one you’re also getting a divorce but…….

Green flags in men: - No mouth - Can’t read - Love wood - Believes in Santa - Loves hugging knives - No parents living or dead - Lives alone in house made of plaid - Doesn’t eat/breathe - No dancing/exiissting

Cybertrucks say “cool” like glasses say “smart” and in both cases you’re fucking blind

How do you fumble big titties www.bloomberg.com/news/article...

Not my mom leaving the Soviet Union for this 😭 “I just want a normal place for my daughter to grow up”

Diddy’s lawyer must have done a lot of soul searching before quitting during Black History Month

😍 Blackpink in MY area???

btw this kind of theft was state policy in Nazi Germany there are often direct financial incentives to snitch on people www.smithsonianmag.com/history/1938...

I've been tracking when and where my books are getting banned in the US since 2023. My books are all about queer teen girls and/or Asian Americans. Here's my latest update: As of today, my books have been censored in 96 cases across 20 states. www.malindalo.com/blog/2025/2/...

Ah yes, waking up every day wondering what else a grown racist child is gonna break before my morning tea, the real breakfast of champions!

16 Democratic senators recently voted to confirm the Trump-appointed Treasury Secretary who just gave Musk’s team access to a Treasury payment system that disburses trillions and holds mass quantities of personal information. Food for thought. www.nytimes.com/interactive/...

The Internet Archive has to date downloaded 500 terabytes of US government websites, which it crawls at the end of every presidential term. The whole archive is fully searchable. This effort's housed by a donation-funded nonprofit, not a branch of the US government. blog.archive.org/2024/05/08/e...

while The Horrors persist, let us celebrate less horrors overall…. because all three mega fires in Los Angeles are finally 100% contained!!

The pilot on my flight announced it was his last flight and everyone clapped which is pretty fucked up right before a suicide

I love being on a plane now, not because of the possibility of leaving America, but because I don’t have WiFi to read about America leaving me 🌈

On a fancy date Guy: This wine is very dry Me: Don’t worry I’ll spit on it first

Went to a horse racetrack for the first time and said “Wow love the polka dot finish on that horse, I can’t wait to see her onstage!!!”and now I can’t go to the horse racetrack anymore

I hate AirPods like how are we paying EXTRA for headphones that come with HOMEWORK

Sometimes when I’m at a fancy dinner I’ll slurp an oyster and then gently deposit it into a stranger’s unwilling mouth

<first day as a couples counselor> “Skip to the juice we only have 45 minutes bitches”

Sometimes when a man is kissing me I like to whisper hotly “I have my grandfather’s lips”

I’ve been asking men on dating sites to tell me something real if they hit me with “how is your day” and it’s absolutely breaking their brains

Ethan Hawke has the perfect divorced dad energy, like he looks like he’s learned some lessons and can make a nice bolognese

Much like an absent father trying to forget I love to get wrecked by tall boys

Men on dating apps are like “I don’t wanna be pen pals!!!” um do you mean have a conversation Greg

Every time a volcano erupts it makes me wonder, could something like that happen to the volcano I live in?

On a fancy date Guy: This wine is very dry Me: Don’t worry I’ll spit on it first

“Love bombing” um do u mean loving me the right amount

My favorite part of a doctor’s appointment is filling out the medical history on my father’s side where I just put a giant ? and a winky face

Sometimes I’m washing a zucchini and I’m like is this for me or for the zucchini

HOW IS IT 6:30 AT NIGHT AND IM DEAD INSIDE

You know you’re right with God when your pee is clear

Dippin’ Dots is like layaway for ice-cream and I will not stand for it

Much like a party, a person should know when to leave the senate, and in both cases death shouldn’t be the preferred method

<gently elbows God> Now do Putin

It’s only poutine if it’s from the Poutine province of Canada, otherwise it’s just sparkling heart attack fries

I just accidentally made eye contact with a gross man as he slapped his girl on the butt and I’m distraught

Whether it’s John Fetterman wearing casual attire on the Senate floor or Lauren Boebert giving a casual handy to her date in a public place with children present, both sides have issues with professionalism. In this NYT opinion piece, I will…