Well, today has been. Let's try again tomorrow.

You're kidding me. We only rate dogs. This is a rainbow bagel. I really need you all to start sending us dogs, because we only rate dogs. Thank you... 12/10 (IG: mrpeanutbutter.69)

I would like every corporate phone system to crap out at once. Talk to your customers like a real man, or whatever.

My sweet cat is apparently okay but he wasn't passing urine this morning. We're just waiting on meds at urgent care. Can't wait to get him home.

Pro tip, it's true! If Sbux suckers don't find their app-ordered drinks waiting for them and the company has to replace them all, they'll go out of business quick. ☺️

I like USAliens. Because none of us are from here and we're colonizing creeps who perform weird abductions. 👽 Anyway, fuck ICE.

Stare bear

A sincere and earnest plea from yours truly on behalf of everyone handling a dog getting out of a vehicle, going into/through a door, walking down the sidewalk, or just generally being out in public anywhere at any time: Please leave us and our canine companions the fuck (politely) alone.

My cats are enjoying their own little winter village.

"Sign in or register!" -> "We don't recognize that username. Register now." -> "Email? Phone?" -> "You have an account!" -> "Give the email associated with your account." -> "We don't have an account with that email." -> "Forgot username? Click here." Ad infinitum.

My favorite budget recipe lately: Tortellini in broth made with bouillon, a little butter, garlic, and cooked-down kale. The Lidl by me has frozen tortellini for $3.99; family-size fresh tortellini for $5.79 (store brand) or $7.99 (Rana).

We need a FAFO style shorthand for getting a doodle dog. There are always consequences.

I wrote about the fake account blowup on X this weekend. A genuine post-truth nightmare and proof that these companies have polluted their platforms so thoroughly and traded reality for profit that they've undermined the very idea of what the internet is supposed to be.

Has Chappell Roan covered Wuthering Heights yet.

I'm saving over 300/month on food shopping by just eating whatever comes floating down the creek

If you’re a journalist who’s still on Twitter, from now on in your writing you have to replace “the American people want” with “troll bots in Eastern Europe demand” Being there makes your judgment suspect. I don’t care how savvy you think you are, you’re marinating in a disinformation campaign.

My cat turned on the TV to watch Scandal alone in the bedroom.

If I’m understanding this correctly, X is owned by a white nationalist who pays poor people of color in developing countries to pretend to be working class white Americans to scare other white Americans into being afraid poor people of color from developing countries are going to ruin America?

In pursuit of more counter space I have completely forgotten how to use my Instant Pot.

I'll have the bloodshed smothered and covered, thanks.

Christine can sing. Goddamn. I'm more into this than I thought I'd be. soundcloud.com/chrissychlap...

I already got holiday presents for my pets. They're getting them today, so we can all enjoy the holiday season. 💚

This is why some of us never stopped masking for our own health reasons, despite govt pressure. C19 isn't over, they only said it was to help train facial recognition software. As a bonus, I haven't been sick in years. Masks aren't for the gestapo; the original gestapo did it all barefaced.

When I was young and oblivious, I asked for wisdom. Now that I'm wise, I'd rather be young and oblivious.

Sort of?

Client note: "My dog likes women, can be uncomfortable with men." Me: 🌝

So wait did the dingo really eat that woman's baby?

love when tubi adds like a hundred more found footage horror movies and i get to go scroungin around for the MAYBE three watchable ones. get a nice little surge of that old dvd bargain bin feeling

We're getting so close to human kibble. Personally I'm excited.

VERIFIED: Fundraiser for the Queens family that had their door busted down & a gun pointed in their face by ICE. The children are all traumatized, unable to sleep. Fundraiser seeks to secure them emergency housing and get therapy for the kids. www.gofundme.com/f/donate-to-...

THIS is the story. That the feds are spying on people doing completely legal stuff and characterizing them as “anarchist violent extremists.” The story is NOT that you need to be afraid to court watch or patrol your neighborhood for ICE activity. DO NOT SELF-REPRESS.

I wasn't going to buy weed. But then my bank stressed me the fuck out by giving me passwords via voicemail that didn't work in the app. So now I'm buying weed.

ICE agents don’t view themselves as bound by law, and we have neither democracy nor law if they never face justice and accountability.

Looking forward to bear time tomorrow.

Local taco truck > Taco Bell every time.

Deep cleaning with the aim of finding a housemate is a very different task than how I usually clean. I'm finding all sorts of new organization ideas and plenty of things to get rid of. Hard work but well worth it.

Uhhhhh does anybody know if coffee counts as food for antibiotic-taking purposes?

Just realized eighth-graders as a concept still spook me. I don't know why eighth-graders were such a threat to my elementary school self but even as an adult if you threaten me with bullying by eighth-graders I'm getting out of there.

It's my Friday free-write for Unmind Me. Hope you enjoy: open.substack.com/pub/unmindme...

Socialism sounding better and better lately with govt resources tied up in human trafficking coverups, right @govwesmoore.bsky.social?

Anyone else ever just get sad about how much you love your dog. He's such a good boy, he should live forever (he is perfectly healthy).

We keep talking about the right to privacy but we lost the right to peace much longer ago. I hate being reachable by strangers. I am not a sales lead, leave me the fuck alone.

the universe may be dying. entropy will probably win. but I exist at the same point in space time as cool ranch doritos. I wonder what other snacks I’ll get to eat

I always know what my upstairs neighbors are watching thanks to the music. Last week it was Killing Eve. Tonight apparently it's Succession.

I can't stress this enough: Media doesn't just encourage people to be bigoted, it encourages YOU to be complacent by telling you all your neighbours are irredeemable bigots. The number of ideologically dedicated fash is small, they are just being given all the resources. Talk to your neighbours

I walked three different sizes of doodles today. They really found a way to sell expensive mutts.

Man, I hate when this guy is president.

Driving anywhere in Baltimore will convince you of this reality every time.