I'll say it's swift, I didn't even know they were dating.

Flicking through my recipe book for some inspiration this morning, I realise my handwriting *could* do with some work in terms of non-ambiguity. Marsala or WHAT?

We are all agreed that the BBC cancelling Winterwatch when they'd already cancelled Autumnwatch is a really, really poo idea, yes? Such a poo idea. It's only four, one-hour shows?! It brings joy to so many people?! It hits inform, educate AND entertain?! Why is this what gets axed?!

Was lying on the sofa persuading myself to get up and get ready for bed, when a cat walked in the back door and sat in the middle of the lounge and just looked at me. I was like, hey bud, I don't think this is your house? He looked around as if to say, ah, good point, and off he went.

Don't you think it's funny that BBC iPlayer was named at a time when Apple was in full swing and all their i- products were taking off (iPod, iMac, iTunes, etc) and the BBC just went, yeah, our Interactive Media Player could be iPlayer, and it still seems like they're an apple product, decades on?

I've reached the point in the crash where every movement, and every decision, is like getting blood from a stone. It's 6.15pm and I've still no idea what I'm having for dinner. There's food in the freezer, I'm sure of it, but it sadly won't choose or cook itself. 2 gf/vegan cornettos probs won't do?

absolute height of comedy is when they cut to the goal and you see how many kid keepers they've got

Saw a video earlier from a Floridian visiting 'Europe' in the heatwave, saying no, it's really not very hot at all in comparison, but TBF they don't have aircon so it is uncomfortable indoors, especially overnight. You'll never guess where it turns out they were. THE HIGHLANDS OF SCOTLAND.

This morning marked the fifth time one of my friends has messaged me to check in that I'm coping ok in the heat. Having friends and being known and cared for are lovely things 🥰 (even if lol, my defining characteristic is that I get poorly in the heat 😂)

I think by the end of this week I'm going to be subsisting entirely on new potatoes and coleslaw

It's 1am shower kind of weather, isn't it? I went to the bathroom to wash my face before bed, washed my hands in cold water and instantly knew deep in my bones that hands and face in cold water would not be enough. Full immersion was the only way.

If you want a hilarious dose of positive masculinity, go and watch Ralf Little's Instagram stories, where he, a straight man, loiters around a coffee shop waiting for a guy to end his work call just so he can tell him how distractingly handsome he is 😂 properly made me laugh. And he wasn't wrong!

Just got really narky in the bird discord about non-UK people laughing at the UK people prepping for the heat with anxiety and apprehension. Am usually pretty good with being laughed at, but it turns out I'm too warm not to spit annoyed facts about this. Let me show you some average high temps, son!

Just made the mistake of reading the comments under my local paper's Facebook post about the red weather warning. After the Saints win I'd been feeling quite proud of my town, but these made me feel like I'm surrounded by absolute morons 🤦🏻‍♀️

So. The sealing myself in begins...

Just scrolled past three insta-story adverts, which began: 'Make-up for the over 40s is-' 'Us big thigh girls know summer is -' 'Those bumps on your skin you're trying to hide? That's -' Uggghh. I gave up women's mags in my early 20s precisely because I needed to stop being made to feel like+

Paint me like one of your French...Zzz

In theory, the joy of living near my parents again is that I can have dinner with them on Father's day. The reality is that they're close enough that mum's going to drop me in a plate of roast dinner cos dad's got a migraine and isn't up for family dinner 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 ah well. We'll celebrate another day!

Have been watching S2 of Four Seasons this week, and absolutely adored the homage to the woman climbing in her window and exposing herself in ep 7 😂 so funny, and I love knowing Tina Fey knows that video 😂

I will say, there is categorically Too Much Sport happening at the moment, but our town just won the funny-shaped ball one, so Dad and Sib are happy, therefore I am happy 🥳🖤💚💛 #coys

Well, today WAS going to be laundry day, but...🤷🏻‍♀️

My latest @newscientist.com cartoon

Other than the mass of willowherb weeds, I only have three plants in my garden so far: two roses and an apple tree, all in pots. I discovered the tree, a birthday gift, has aphids, so I've been out in the garden spraying them off. I have earned my episode of Gardener's World. I am a gardener now.

UGH.

Well, that is properly sad 😢 BBC News - Major Oak: Ancient 'Robin Hood' tree is dead, experts say - BBC News www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Gooooodness me, finding a father's day card is hard work, isn't it? Unfortunately, my dad is not a football-watching, beer-drinking farter, and he wouldn't appreciate being sworn at, so finding a card that's just...nice? And a bit funny? Is seemingly impossible.

Spilled milk and yoghurt down my trousers 20 mins after I'd finished hanging out all the laundry. Last weekend I had a nosebleed which got on my top, again, about half an hour after I finished my laundry. Why am I so becursèd?!?

Some of you don’t seem to understand that a trillion just doesn’t go that far these days. I mean, it’s clearly not enough to buy even one friend.

Imagine having a trillion dollars and still being such a loser, it’s such a cursed monkey’s paw result

At the weekend I spent a lot of time crocheting and listening to an audiobook while I rested. Finished the book, which I could see was the start of a two-parent series, expecting it to be one story followed by a sequel. No, no - at the end of the book the story (which I was really enjoying) was +

I do love these bright sun, moody sky kind of summer evenings.

reading about the May government for a thing and mad, mad, mad that a Conservative Prime Minister said this nine years ago, I hate how much we've lost since then! I hate it so much! www.theguardian.com/society/2017...

Eight months into living at my new house, I'm going to estimate I'm still getting 3x more post for the former owners than I get for myself 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 this is both a plea for them to sort their admin out, and for someone to send me some cutesy post to make me smile, please and thank you

In the worst case of algorithm failure I've seen in a while, I just got an ad for Mr Beast beef jerky, with a little song that goes 'snack like A BEAST' 😂😂😂 Man, he's so outrageously uncool. Gave me a laugh, but lads, that is not the ad for me.

@lauralexx.bsky.social Quail Marys is still making me giggle 🤭👏🏻

It's hard to overstate how irritating it is having SO MUCH promo for #Rivals S2, for them to then be like...you wanted the WHOLE series?!?! 😱 NooOoo, we've only got six episodes for you? Did we make you think you'd get a whole series? Oh, sorry! No! When's the rest of it? Shan't tell 🤫😉🤫

As I was about to head upstairs for bed, through closed doors and windows and over music playing from my phone, I heard my tawny pal🥰 usually he's off somewhere, out in the fields or down the lane. Tonight, he sounded like he was up in the tree opposite my house, keeping me company. I do like him🦉🌳💚

Instagram keeps doing that 'are you interested in this post?' thing under posts from real friends and real people that I have chosen to follow. Like...yes? Obviously? These are people I have chosen to follow and want to see their posts? Do I get the option not to see all the unsolicited nonsense?

Personally I think they should have given us eighteen micromoth species to choose from.

The joy of being back to teaching, catching myself wandering around with random scribblings on my hands as I've tried to use them for a visual representation of something we're revising, on a video call. I've missed this.

Well, that was a fun game of 'is that thunder or my neighbour putting the bins out?' Turns out, it was both! Well done, Roger, for braving the storms in the name of prompt bins. Big thunder!

I'm on board with the dawn chorus and all that, but it's 4am, I've woken up for the loo, and there are *ducks* quacking outside my window. IT'S 4AM! YOU ARE NOT A BLACKBIRD!

@oddtypeofdragon.bsky.social Your Orielton tagged photos just came up on my FB memories! Such a fun time! (Do you remember how much cake we ate?!) 😄💚

On the grounds that there’s no bad time to share this video of a squirrel having a jolly good go, here’s this video of a squirrel having a jolly good go

I've been planning good, nutritious, heat-friendly meals so well thus far, but the exhaustion and quease from several days of it have meant I've resorted to sausages and chips in the air fryer, which actually, really good choice now I think of it. I can make salads when it's cooler, chips ftw.

Reminding myself that I don't actually have the energy to engage with the 'yeah but it was 12°C on the Isle of Lewis yesterday, why's noone talking about that?!?!' guys under every post about hot weather records being broken. Let's just ignore them all, it's our ire they want.

It's actually quite gratifying to be watching a bake off rerun on the second hottest day of the year, where it is the hottest day of the year for them, and they're failing at making ice cream cakes. At least we're not having to make ice cream cakes, guys. It could be worse, I suppose.

The poemwriting is not goingwell today.

Something must be causing these insane record-breaking temperatures, but I've read three newspapers this morning (Mail, Times, Telegraph) and they appear to have absolutely no idea what. How baffling. Sure they're working on it

I was responsible for this (it was literally my idea while I was Product Manager for Media Playout at the BBC) and it is still my proudest achievement ever