ever since I was a child, I knew I wanted to one day have 13 streaming apps, all of which hide the closed captioning options in a different place

Instagram just showed me a reel entitled "dinner you can make no matter how tired or hungry you are", then proceeded to list *ingredients* and a saucepan?!? When super tired and hungry, it's sausages and chips in the airfryer so I can sit and eat oatcakes while it cooks in 20mins. What are they on?

Another little dusting this morning ☺️❄️

6th Jan - A Traditional Play “Oi, you know all those decorations that were making your house look cosy and glowingly lit?” - yeah? - “take them down!” - oh is winter nearly over? - “not even close. Barely getting into the worst of it. Suffer without fairy lights. Happiness is over.”

Anna Haugh's not wearing a headband on Saturday Kitchen, is everything OK?

If, like me, you were also Very Online in the mid-2010s, I implore you to go and watch the Marcel the Shell with Shoes On film on iPlayer. Where the initial videos were cute and funny, this is still that, but also a gentle, heart-warming reflection on family and loss. Honestly, I just adored it.

My New Year’s resolution is to stop seeking approval all the time, if that’s ok with everyone.

👀

Pleased to say I have now posted my end of year summary* *Given my accountant dad my 2024-25 tax return details

This year was also the year in which I failed to write a new end-of-year poem.

Online ads have really been trying to persuade me that I need to have super thick hair - and treat it with various oils and serums to do so - and because I used to have v thick hair but for various reasons have lost a lot recently, I have been taking this on as a personal failing. However. Having +

You can tell everyone's bored today because a whole load of end-of-year posts have gone up on Instagram, like they've got so little to do they can't even wait til tomorrow to post them.

I just can't keep subscribing to things. I already have too many tv subs because nothing is in the same place, and then twitch wants money for every person I watch, and podcasts want money too (no), and now even the insta recipe creators (whose cookbooks I already buy) have subscriber websites.

As if to clearly demonstrate how abysmal the Instagram algorithms are, today I have seen day 18, and then later day 16, of our church's daily advent prayer posts. Thanks Instagram, it's not like I liked all the ones I saw to tell you I wanted to see them, or that I wanted to see them each day 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🙄

Switched on for Hamza and dolphins and found the overrunning battle of the sexes coverage. Very clear that Annabel Croft totally dislikes Kyrgios, which is really funny, cos she's literally so sweet.

There is minor traffic between Oxfordshire and us, so our family guests are currently 8mins later arriving than predicted, and my parents cannot sit still, which is a hilariously blatant demonstration of 'oh that's where I get it from' 🙈😂

There’s a very specific technique to pouring the perfect Bucks Fizz. First you’ve got to speed it up, then you’ve got to slow it down.

It's a classic case of I've had a sinus headache for 48hrs, what are the chances that I finally took some decongestant 20 mins before it went away?!

No pictures because, well, you'll see why, but only 7 weeks since I moved out, I return home for Christmas to an old dresser wedged in my room, which after an hour I have to ask to be removed because I'm having an allergic reaction to the dust in the ancient books it holds. #DuvetKnowItsChristmas

It wouldn't be Christmas eve if you didn't ask dad if we could maybe turn the music down a little because you've not long got up and it's rumbling through your bones, and he just sighs and turns it off passive aggressively. Merrrrry Christmas!

Christmas card arrived in the post from former housemates: small housemate signed her own name 🥹😭 she's so grown up!! Who let that happen?! What is time?!

Rewatching the latest series of #DeathInParadise ahead of the Christmas special, and was reminded that Don Gilet is significantly older than he looks (58)...and when his (recently deceased) mother is on screen as he investigates her death, it got me suspicious. The actor is only 6yrs older than him😂

A very happy winter solstice to you. More light is coming ✨️

Lovely friend and her adorable 18mo came for a visit this week. He was a star, and thankfully, really enjoyed the little activities we had to keep him entertained while his mum and I chatted, including a little game and visit to the brook. However his best bit was definitely when the bin lorry came.

Funny animal videos no longer being trustworthy just fucking sucks all around. I love the wonder of animal behavior and what it says about the experience of being alive. It's because it happened in reality that it's so fun. It's not fun if it was just made up. There's no wonder there.

Clear that I've reignited my love for Classic FM, when the March from the Nutcracker suite finished playing on my Spotify Christmas playlist this evening, and I fully expected Alexander Armstrong to chime in, "Tchaikovsky there with the March..." Was surprised by Pentatonix instead. Aren't we all.

I also want to say thank you to the person who introduced me to the French word 'beaucoup' this year. It means a lot.

my name is cow and wen its nite and when a star is shiyning brite and three wise men give me the nod i walk up close I lik the God

I'm sometimes a bit sad about leaving Oxford, especially like this morning being sent pics of my lovely friends and their kids hanging out 💜 but then, I'm nursing a beast of a migraine today, so my parents popped over to pick up parcels I need to send, and brought me more painkillers unprompted...

Truly, I hope that tomorrow, when everyone who's been running "12 days of Christmas" marketing or engagement things suddenly realises they've run out of days and it's still 12 days til Christmas, it can be an international day of "oh shoot, hang on, we've done that wrong haven't we?"

I don't know quite how this logic works, but: I have my heating thermostat set relatively low, but it means on cold days I'm perfectly comfortable because it kicks in, but on milder days like today I'm freezing, because it doesn't quite get cold enough to come on...I think it perhaps needs tweaking😂

If I was at all unsure about watching The War Between the Land and the Sea, I've just seen a trailer where Kate Lethbridge-Stewart kisses her hunky colonel, and it turns out RTD is just writing his own fan fiction, and it also turns out that I am here for that.

If I was at all unsure about watching The War Between the Land and the Sea, I've just seen a trailer where Kate Lethbridge-Stewart kisses her hunky colonel, and it turns out RTD is just writing his own fan fiction, and it also turns out that I am here for that.

Gently weeping at Paddington singing on Strictly 😭🥰

In reflection, these leaves fallen across a puddle, have found a way back into their parents’ arms.

Obsessed with this Evri delivery photo 😵‍💫😂

"can u explain these gaps in your CV" yes those are spaces they help you know what's a word and what's another word, it's the long bar on the keyboard here gimme your phone I can help u it's easy

Have been listening to Olivia Dean's album the past couple of days, and thought to myself, 'hey, this girl's really good!', and then made myself laugh thinking about how hard a 16yo would roll their eyes at my 35yo self's revelation. Keep up, grandma. (My Spotify age is a lie. I know nothing 😂)

I need to know if Iain from bake off has seen Prince Harry lip syncing to his conversation with Alison. Like. What is going on? 😂

It's 3am, and I'm not asleep, but Instagram has reminded me of this brilliant song, and here's a live version for you to enjoy, probably in the morning when you get up, rather than now. At 3am. Look, at least I posted it here so you can read it later, rather than calling... youtu.be/tjtdy876Irg?...

How is it dark night time dark already I've only just got up help.

This is so funny - Alan Moore is a local legend. Also brilliantly, I've now learned that this would have been taken the year before my Dad started at NGS (as was), and therefore, due to AM's exclusion, they just missed overlapping at the same school 😆

🥹😄

Lovely fun evening watching @coherentcomedy.bsky.social this evening! Annoyingly, my daft laptop died ten minutes before the end, so I missed the last act, but I was having a lovely time until then! Love accessible stuff like this, such a joy 😄

I like seeing these posts because it's very easy to feel glum on such a dreary, cloudy day, but seeing the perspective helps. Look at that blob of cloud. Look at the clear sky around it. Look at how easily it'll pass ☺️

Can I say something controversial? I can't do dark mode. I know it's like the cool thing, but it makes me eyes go so weird and shaky, and when I look away I have an imprint, and I just can't do it. I just changed my discord settings to light mode and I feel like a discord traitor.

In the pouring rain, a tiny wren jumps down from the large hedge onto the fence and preens itself in such a speedy blur, I can barely make out its shape to identify what he is. It's only when he pauses for a micro moment that his identity emerges properly, though his dinkiness was giving him away.

While I do appreciate my name, especially the fact it has an 'Eleanor Rigby' cadence, I do sort of envy the joy, ease and bounce with which Robin Ince always says 'and I'm Robin Ince'. It's a good name for saying aloud.

I realised today, listening to #ImSorryIHaventAClue, that I don't actually know the tune of Psycho Killer by Talking Heads, I only know it as a song sung to the tune of another. And over the years, it's been sung many times to many tunes 😂 Perhaps I should just keep it this way and not look it up?

I decided to model the verse "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" in bible study this evening by loudly calling my friend of nearly fifteen years a 'millennial traitor' for wearing wide-legged trousers.