The girls on my wife’s waterpolo team now refer to me as “Polo Papa” 👴 Idk how I feel about this lol

Y’all east coast game times are wild. Wtf you mean this starts at 7:50 PM!?

No miles on this comped flight is wild

These dads out here just blatantly scratching their dick with no care for anyone around them

People watching at the airport >>

here is your horoscope for today

Turns out Jet Drag is not a kind of drag show. Truly disappointing

Lamp goes to ATL Wish me luck on this long ass flight

New The Amity Affliction slaps 🤘 #HouseOfCards #TAA

STOP! You are literally compartmentalizing your bread girl!

It’s always JUST POOP ALREADY or STOP POOPING. Never JUST pooping Smh

Y’all, don’t forget to sauce your sandwiches before you eat them! It can make or break your sandwich!

This big guy turned 12 today! ❤️❤️

Poor Brian Woo just got left hanging on the mariners broadcast lol

Today's the day.

When the wife accidentally brushes against me

Why are we trying to upscale The Price is Right from the 70s to HD? Like that seems like waste, right?

as far back as i can remember, i always wanted to skip ad

I think I’ve been jerrified. Momma I made it!

Facts. And my cats sole responsibility is to come through and mop it up.

What’s your next bite in this situation?

Dan Hurley with the MEAN MUG 😤😠

In this house, pancakes are just a vessel for homemade butter.

All of the money ever made by all of the harry potter books and movies and games and all the things ever said about them all rolled up into one and multiplied by a hundred thousand is still not worth the life of a single trans kid.

Wild that this post is gaining traction today lol

I present to you, the bagel clit.

Just watched my father in law lick the cream cheese from the bagel clit in a weirdly sexual way

Okay why does every senior citizens home have the shortest toilet ever created installed in their house? Like isn’t it hard to sit down and get up from these things?

Small toilets are one of tall people’s biggest issues with the world

Is marathon worth it y’all? Asking for a friend

Why are bagels so damn hot coming out of the toaster!?

It turns out living with the in laws is just a lot of talking about the same things and farting… a lot. Here’s to 6 weeks

Inb4 Elon buys OnlyFans next…. www.bbc.com/news/article...

You love to see America lose Americas past time lol

the people yearn for chicken bacon ranch

*unfrosts your flakes*

I think Tony is starting to feel the drugs before his vet appointment this afternoon lol 💊

Leftover pizza and too sweet of coffee >>> most things

AI companies right now be like GIVE ME MOAR CHIPS!!

Give me moar give me moar Wait… what?

Do people still make those back starter packs anymore? Or was that just a phase like most other parts of this app

Hit the weed and make your day a lil brighter

You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself, on?

No thoughts. Just posts

How do I get on the fun part of this app again?

Is it time for lamp to get a different pfp?

I told you guys, I’m not a loser. I’m a louge-er.