Today's NYT jobs report coverage (left) compared to exactly 2 years ago under Biden (right). Notice the numbers.

where the path branches there are two guards, one who likes big butts and cannot lie, and the other who likes big butts and can only lie, which do y

An America where working people can make ends meet, live comfortably, afford healthcare, and have aspirational lives. But billionaires can’t become trillionaires. That’s the nightmarish dystopia Democratic Socialists envision.

Three cheers for the red, white, and green

A trillion dollars in the form of one dollar bills, stapled together end to end, would stretch about 100 million miles, easily farther than Mars' closest approach to Earth. You might think that's a waste of money, but I guarantee you it's just as likely to happen as Elon Musk getting anyone to Mars.

Hosting the World Cup is costing New Jersey at least $100 million dollars, only to have FIFA bill its matches as "New York New Jersey." Meanwhile, FIFA is sitting on billions. It's time to end sportsblindness.

Imagine being in year 5 of the Hundred Years War and knowing you still have 95 years to go.

I’m more of a morally compromised paddle boarder

If the Apollo landings were faked they wouldn’t have made the moon so boring

I'll always appreciate how the M*A*S*H* opening theme music tacks "Shave and a Haircut" onto the end of "Suicide is Painless" to remind you it's a comedy

The middle instrumental part of My Sharona that has nothing to do with the rest of the song was when Sharona walked into the room

Huge boom from above the cloud deck heard and felt throughout eastern Massachusetts about an hour ago. Similar to SC incident on Thursday. Likely sonic boom from military aircraft but possibly Chelyabinsk-style bolide. Shook my house, thought a tree had fallen into it

I saw this production back in February and it was great fun. If you get a chance, see it before it closes! www.nytimes.com/2026/05/26/t...

Still coming off a high of seeing Belle and Sebastian perform "If You're Feeling Sinister" in its entirety, live. What band would you like to see perform one of its albums in order, and which album would you pick?

Tulsi Gabbard resigned but don’t worry about her, the GRU has a great retirement plan

The middle instrumental part of My Sharona that has nothing to do with the rest of the song was when Sharona walked into the room

Helena Bonham-Carter of Mars

I'll always appreciate how the M*A*S*H* opening theme music tacks "Shave and a Haircut" onto the end of "Suicide is Painless" to remind you it's a comedy

“What am I? How am I alive?”

If the Apollo landings were faked they wouldn’t have made the moon so boring

A new grenade that won’t stick to most dental work

Orgy aboard Artemis II after moon hits their eyes like a big pizza pie

I’m more of a morally compromised paddle boarder

When I interview a job candidate, I always open with: "You were born naked and helpless. Why are you still alive?"

As a kid I thought Bruce Springsteen's "10th Avenue Freeze-out" was "Ten Devils Who Could Freeze Us"

Then she realized she hadn't even plugged it in yet

The Strait of Hormel carries 80% of the world's canned chili con carne and corned beef hash

BREAKING NEWS: TRUMP IS HONEST FOR THE FIRST TIME

How was your day, Michael? Great, I unexpectedly bumped into some students on the way home

Picasso want cookie

Five best looks at the Met Gala: 1. A New Hope 2. Empire Strikes Back 3. Rogue One 4. The one where they get back to 1980 San Francisco

Imagine being in year 5 of the Hundred Years War and knowing you still have 95 years to go.

Before you repost something... Ask yourself, how many times has this post already appeared in my feed? Is it likely that my followers have already seen it?

You can tell AI isn't becoming more human because it's incapable of having the most human response to a New Yorker cartoon: "I don't get it"

What are you doing in my house?

The prevailing Democratic wisdom always seems to be "We have to win the war before we can start the revolution."

Ed Gallrein: “President Trump …knows when I farted in church. Pardon me, take that back. Don’t get that out on the air.“

a ballroom has a core strategic weakness: the man in the back saying “everyone attack”

The first photo here is fake. A still from the same moment shows that Trump's head wasn't drooping like that. Also, he'd just adjusted his tie, which is why the guy two to the left of RFK is looking at him. Actual still at right. www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ctx...

Whenever I read this poem, written in the 1930s, its prescience and bone dry clarity chills me to the bone. If you're not familiar with it, do read it, it's quite short. allpoetry.com/What-The-Ant...

My darling girl turned 17 today. She’s battling 2 cancers and should not be alive at this point but she carries on. I love her so much.

The Strait of Hormel carries 80% of the world's canned chili con carne and corned beef hash

He’ll just froze over

Then she realized she hadn't even plugged it in yet

As a kid I thought Bruce Springsteen's "10th Avenue Freeze-out" was "Ten Devils Who Could Freeze Us"

Mr. President, I can assure you that you have traveled farther from the rest of humanity than any astronaut.

When I interview a job candidate, I always open with: "You were born naked and helpless. Why are you still alive?"

Story by: Ralph Kramden

If only there was a word that means deliberately destroying a civilization