This is our year. We’re putting on little sailor suits. We’re holding big lollipops the size of our head. We’re asking Papa to take us to see the flea circus. And we’re not taking no for an answer 🔫

(Trench coat clad man with small beady sunglasses and a cool green tie stops and sits across from me at train station and opens a brief case revealing single perfectly housed cans of Coke Classic, Coke Zero, Sprite, and DP) Me: Seedy location, no? Him: I deal in sodas. Seedy is safe, my friend.

scrooge was going through it

during thanksgiving my family went around the table and said what they were thankful for. we all said the default "family and friends" stuff except for my grandpa, who only said "i'm thankful for the president." when prompted to say more he refused. i swear to god i'm not joking

feudal lord MF DOOM: The tyrant taxes, stacks it, crop yields to shields and axes Lax, but in his field his task is wield and sack, hence; Profits with his fist clenched, wassails for his fifth wench Kiss-quenched, claimed alpine bloodline: swiss-french

The phantom of the menace is here. With a big big blade 🎶

The Hamas atrocities revealed the incompetence and falsity of the right-wing program of security through brutality, and now the broad institutional center of Western military and political power is signing off on retaliatory mass murder, and U.S. pundits are really going with How the Left Went Wrong

Why do they call him Putin when you put in the cold ukraine of out hot eat the ukraine?

Bugs be like yeah my baby just turned a minute wait until he reaches his 30th minute, the lamp don’t look so bright then. I don’t know

2 state solution? I need a solution to my 2 states: depression and anxiety😐

I cant stop thinking about Delger

I have stroke game and go but my click game is weak

They can keep twitter. We’re having on the good site

Gruce Greenscreen

Bruce Springsting

id be so pissed if the way we find out aliens are real is through a congressional hearing. boring

its like if the good doctor and young sheldon had a baby

that barbie movie was so good! can't wait to get home and watch some porno

Reskeet with a banger ass picture of yours

They should make a Chinese “The Flash” named Immediate Lee

I don’t think there is a significant difference between American nurses and the Freikorps

Learning from my actions. I am sorry blue sky and I’m learning about sex work I think

[on a date] hold on i have to take this call it’s important. [taking obvuously fake phone call] yeah ok so apparently that’s slutsville calling me. and they want their mayor back. and apparently the mayor is you. because you’re a huge slut i guess.

On May 28, 2033, I will post a death threat, which I will not carry out. This is a death threat threat.

the dolls here are rizzed tf up

tired of making decisions for myself. anyone want to own me as a white slave?

I fucking hate when you trek up to the top of the mountain to seek immortal wisdom after weeks of austerities and the guy meditating on top of it is white. Like ok we have you at home

My white slave tried to post during the posting strike (he is clearly a stupid cracker) and I boxed his ears good. No jokes until we fix this racist ass site (he is not payed to fix the site or paid for anything else he does for me)

thought my duchy was stronger than it was but nope. got invaded and my fucking moronic vassals surrendered immediately. guess who’s a white slave now.

I would like to specify that my white slave does NOT do sex work- that would be immoral as he is an unpaid slave, and things are already “hot” enough as we are currently burning alive in hell.

It's annoying when people are dumb scolds about jokes. But if that annoyance turns you into a Republican, you're dumber than they are. It's better to be a dumb good person than a bad person.

If sex is work than call me a white slave

This app is called blue sky, but i’m thinking of another 2 word phrase that goes [color] [s word]. can you guess what it is? HINT: check my recent posts😉

I love having my stupid fucking white slave but I hate my body that is always burning in flames in hell

What if a white guy was a slave for a while? Would that fix anything?

sex work is not work -posted by my white slave you can’t get mad at me for saying this

let’s get #WhiteSlave trending

Me: Pour more water on me! Now! (It sizzles and I start burning in red flames even harder) My white slave: I don’t think it’s gonna work sir.. we’re in hell Me(burning alive eternally) SILENCE! More ice cream, solid this time

This bloop sigh. We clown on here bitch!

I love blu skype y’all misting out we wild on here lol

“I love bad bitches that my fuckij problem. And yeah I like to fuck I gotta fuckin problem” -aaap Rocky

Just got my lap twerked on