My son is a registered independent so he can’t vote today. 🤨

Outside letting this good dry heat warm me up. This that shit I like.

Happy Mother’s Day! 🌸💐🌷

Hi, how y’all doing? Just popped to say that my protagonists are about to meet for the first time. Very exciting stuff. ✍🏾👩🏾‍💻

I need an 85 or better on my Finance final to maintain an A in this class.

A House Is Not A Home Glow of Love

@nywiseass.bsky.social Hey fam. You’re an icon on 🧵.

“Stop scanning for threats.” Me to my brain almost every morning.

When did we all collectively decide on bare minimum Fridays? I feel like I’ve had bare minimum Fridays for over 20 years by myself and yet we’re all doing this. Maybe we are a monolith.

Time to sit in my job’s parking lot contemplating my life choices.

Every time I open this app.

Leaving work early to go pick tulips because why the hell not.🌷

"On my nerves"

They better get this damn phone working.

I love this photo of astronaut Christina Koch looking back at Earth from Artemis II. She's the first woman to see the full sphere of our beautiful planet. Welcome home to the crew, and thank you for reminding us of all we can discover together.

As the Integrity crew splashed down TO THE MINUTE of their estimated arrival and hit the BULLSEYE, this is a reminder that Katherine Johnson was an absolute genius. My God. #NASA #ArtemisII

The entire seafood counter at Sprouts was $0.99/lb so if you never hear from me again, that’s why.

Guys, I think I’m officially firm mattress years old. How does one acquire firm mattress? Do I go and lay on a few until firm mattress chooses me?

I don’t think racist people should be allowed to eat ethnic cuisine. Of any kind. It should be against the cult rules or something. Cause be all the way racist. No soul food, no tacos, no Chinese food, no tandoori chicken, no Thai tea for you bitches. Only White Castle for the hoes.

dc chillin' 🥰

is wig going to nuke those people?

I see what’s happening whether I want to or not but I’m gonna need another word for numb. These bills still need to be paid and these emails won’t reply to themselves. Idk what else we’re supposed to do but hope that man don’t get us nuked. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Got my ticket to see Halle & that light skin British boy in Tuscany.

A fucking skunk sprayed near my open window. Terrible way to start the day.

I’m on the Brokenhearted chapter of Brandy’s book and I’m feeling stabby. 🤬🔪

Thank you to everyone who left a congrats or a kind word. Life is short ya know. You wanna try something new? Go do that shit! Whatever it is, you can do it. I believe in you 😉

He is. We all are. #HolySky

This man is determined to grill tomorrow. Meanwhile the rain is blowing in as I type.

I have to walk today and get sun on my face. This shouldn’t feel like a chore but when you’re tethered to a computer most days, it does.

Yooooo I got a perfect 💯 on a 12 page financial analysis that I wrote in less than a day using formulas and metrics I don’t understand.

Totally forgot my son was coming home for the weekend. Just stocked the drink fridge too.

I will no longer be answering to requests to “somebody”. As in “can somebody do xxx”? Idc what Jesse said. Long may he rest.

I’m really trippin off how today isn’t Friday

Remember when I said I’m really good at shit I don’t want to do? Two of our weekly service calls are now permanently cancelled because of me. Don’t need to set time to review things that are working just fine now do we.

You can’t make this shit up.

I just feel like if we all focus for like a minute on today being the day, we can will it into happening. How about 11am EST?

I don’t think we use this emoji enough. 🫩

In hindsight, dropping my 15 year old car off to be serviced on April Fool’s Day was a bad idea.

Picking up my son’s winter clothes & things he no longer needs from his campus apt to make move out in 6 weeks that much easier.

One day youre young & just getting in the house at 7am Saturday morning.... Then the next you're getting in the bed at 7pm on a Friday night.

Completely sober dancing around my kitchen listening to THIS MUSIC MAY CONTAIN HOPE. What are Raye’s stans called? I’m ready to pledge my allegiance.

Sitting here in my feelings because my daughter just planned her first family vacation for her little family of three. 🥹

I’ve done nothing productive today. Not a single thing.

April Showers doing a lil pregaming ain’t she

Popping anxiety meds for an email meeting job is ridiculous. Cruelty is the point.

I liked a couple of positive posts on Threads and now the algorithm thinks I’m in a good mood. I have SIX meetings today. I’m in hell.

I would also like y’all to know that I, me, personally single-handedly named D Nice’s upcoming memoir. (Do not ruin this for me. Tysm.)

At no point have I ever said, “ I wonder what Tank’s real name is” but I assure you I didn’t think it was this.

the horrors persist and so do i. good morning mfers

A very happy Maryland Day to everyone who hails from the Free State, loves someone from there, or just enjoys the amazing state & its flag.