Was lovingly referred to as the pass around top in the dark room last night 🥹🫂💞

A single mom that works two knobs

Really thinking about making this my LinkedIn prof. pic

idk if she would cure me or kill me

A 2 party system doesn’t work!

We as gay people get to choose our preferred heart emoji 💞

Why didn’t anyone tell me

A queef is a wish your heart makes or whatever

oh it's going to be a Recession recession

🎮 🧵 Games I Beat Thread 🧵 🎮

Well that’s a bummer

😀

Me in an Excel spreadsheet

Just a ye you can take home to haw

It’s uncanny, no?

Just drew your fortune from my nana’s tarot deck and it looks like you’re gonna be on Love Island :/ I hate that show, that sucks :/

Hey boys ;)

You’re not gonna SURVIVE #3

🧵 📖 Books I’ve Read Thread 📖 🧵

omg I’m about to become so obnoxious

We’ll be reporting live as this situation develops

Practicing my “uGhHghhgG your gift didn’t get here in time!!! But it’s def. on the way” in the bathroom mirror. ✨ Merry Christmas ✨

okay no, but like… yeah

“Fuck ____.” A. This B. That C. You D. Me E. Them F. It G. [Write In Response]

Wagon Wheel Watussi

Confidence 👹 Love 💞 Friendship 👯‍♂️ New Chapters 📖

Show me how your 2025 went.

Your manager’s face helping you prioritize your tasks because they’re “really good at it”

JUST THINK… While you've been gettin' down and out about the liars 🤥 And the dirty, dirty cheats of the world 🎲 You could've been gettin' DOWN. TO THIS. SICK. BEET. 👹

Q: “What’s the 2nd loneliest number?” A:

Happy Holifags!

A piss play account ft. Chewbacca called WookieLeaks

A pinball machine is just a giant fidget spinner prove me wrong

Guys, remember infographics? Insane

Very tasty

4 more years

Me walking around the house at 5:45pm now

Diva Down

WHEN I SAY TEE YOU SAY HEE TEE

Hexxus, the smog monster from FernGully, has endorsed Andrew Cuomo

Obsessed + same

Hey do any of you want to look at this photo of Kate Bush dressed like a bat??

I got an F in gym all 4 yrs of high school

Depression, I am in you!!!!!

Boyfriend just said The Postal Service sounds “Owl City-ish”

Boy Brunch ☀️ @br3l00m.bsky.social @fidofantasy.bsky.social

.

I have been seeing these women for 10+ years and remain suchhh a fuckinggg stann

Locked myself out of my apartment 2 hrs. before a wedding