Oh! Sorry, is this seat taken???

Oh! Sorry, is this seat taken???

I liked my outfit for the Pride BBQ last night :)

🎵 *Spring Awakening Music* 🎶 “Spriiiiing and Summer… Twenty twenty six…”

Sometimes I forget to show off the eponymous dick vein. Apologies for the oversight! 🙏 #fcf

Any day can be hump day if I really really want it to be, FYI!

Do you know how hard it is for me to pick ONE butt pic to post every Wednesday? 🥲 #humpday

Boyfriend just asked me to turn around and leave when I got home from work because he’s still on a Zoom with a psychic. I just know that b*tch hates my guts! 🔮✨

Do you know how hard it is for me to pick ONE butt pic to post every Wednesday? 🥲 #humpday

I DJ’d again :)

Two things are true: 1. I make great pizza (from scratch!). 2. I didn’t notice the mold on that parmesan until after the fact.

🚨Crisis Averted🚨

The work day always goes by so slowly when I have a new jock strap waiting for me to try on at home. 🫠

I got a new harness, btw! You can tug on it if you like... 🖤 #humpday

It’s giving Untitled Goose Game. 🪿

🚨🍋‍🟩Dakota Johnson has sold the bowl of limes house🍋‍🟩🚨

Who’s this “Nixon Five” everyone in NYC’s talking about? Sounds terrifying!

Happy Big Dick Day or whatever 💕

🚨New Coyote Jocks thigh-high socks about to become my whole personality🚨

It’s so bottom-affirming when a pic of my ass pic takes off on here. Sometimes it feels like you boys only like my pole, but the butt content has been hitting too!!! 🥹💕

Hump Day, feat. Slutty Little Lower Back Ridge

Hump Day, feat. Slutty Little Lower Back Ridge

I received a work email that started with “Hope you’re doing ok” instead of “Hope you’re doing well” and it sent a shiver down my spine. Am I dying and nobody told me? 😳

I got a new swimsuit that I love and now I need someone to invite me to the beach! 🏖️😇😤

Doing my morning stretches ☀️

What if the fattest cock was the friends we made along the way? #fcf

What if the fattest cock was the friends we made along the way? #fcf

Gonna need one of you to come touch my butt, okay? #humpday

Gonna need one of you to come touch my butt, okay? #humpday

Using the official announcement of my Puppy Traitors: Season 2 win to soft- hard-launch Pup Toby on my gay guy accounts and to hard- soft-launch my face reveal on my pup accounts. And THAT’s how you do Pride Month, boyos! 🌈🐾✨ (By celebrating your capacity for deceit and manipulation 🐶⚔️😈)

Every article of clothing I’m wearing in this pic says “Good Boy” on it, and a slutty little jock strap wouldn’t lie to you, would it? #fcf

Every article of clothing I’m wearing in this pic says “Good Boy” on it, and a slutty little jock strap wouldn’t lie to you, would it? #fcf

Would any of you nice boys be in support of me starting to be a slut on here again for summer? ☀️🍑

Would any of you nice boys be in support of me starting to be a slut on here again for summer? ☀️🍑

Tragically One-Sided Instagram Chat: A Love Story

Ordered an osso buco for lunch and am mostly just doing it to commune with the best episode of The Office, “Dinner Party.”

In my “havin’ a great lil time” era ✨ (Desperately need to do something about this bedroom lighting so these photos don’t come out so deathly)

Just saw a Sniffies profile with a profile pic taken at the 9/11 memorial….um????

Monochrome Monday but it’s just my outfit that’s all black 🖤🐾

I DJ’d. :) (with ample help from @fidofantasy.bsky.social)

#fcf feat. my tiny little pec gains 🥰

Liza Minelli disco Losing My Mind playing at Julius’ and I remember always why this is my happy place. 💕

Spring wardrobe refresh going according to plan. ⛓️🐶⛓️‍💥

Doxypepperidge Farms Remembers

I can’t rn, I’m busy letting this plant die. 🪴

This coffee shop is blasting Miss Baltimore Crabs

I took this on my birthday, so you legally have to like it. 💕 #fcf

Sorry I’ve been MIA: I’ve been undergoing a factory reset and emerging more myself. 🖤

Thinking about the twink at the dance party who asked if I have asthma (I do) and if I had my inhaler on me (I didn’t). Hope he’s okay! Kinda clocked my tea, tbh. ✨

I live down the street from the diner from this week’s (excellent) episode of Daredevil, and now I want diner food. 💕