Ordered an osso buco for lunch and am mostly just doing it to commune with the best episode of The Office, “Dinner Party.”

In my “havin’ a great lil time” era ✨ (Desperately need to do something about this bedroom lighting so these photos don’t come out so deathly)

Just saw a Sniffies profile with a profile pic taken at the 9/11 memorial….um????

Monochrome Monday but it’s just my outfit that’s all black 🖤🐾

I DJ’d. :) (with ample help from @fidofantasy.bsky.social)

#fcf feat. my tiny little pec gains 🥰

Liza Minelli disco Losing My Mind playing at Julius’ and I remember always why this is my happy place. 💕

Spring wardrobe refresh going according to plan. ⛓️🐶⛓️‍💥

Doxypepperidge Farms Remembers

I can’t rn, I’m busy letting this plant die. 🪴

This coffee shop is blasting Miss Baltimore Crabs

I took this on my birthday, so you legally have to like it. 💕 #fcf

Sorry I’ve been MIA: I’ve been undergoing a factory reset and emerging more myself. 🖤

Thinking about the twink at the dance party who asked if I have asthma (I do) and if I had my inhaler on me (I didn’t). Hope he’s okay! Kinda clocked my tea, tbh. ✨

I live down the street from the diner from this week’s (excellent) episode of Daredevil, and now I want diner food. 💕

Started my birthday weekend by winning bar trivia, iktr. ✨

Can you imagine being a twink

I think I consumed upwards of 200 grams of lean protein today. Which is probably more than is strictly necessary or even beneficial, but feels like an accomplishment. Pecs now, please!

Got a new cock ring and it’s making me feel extra heavvvvyyyyy 😇 #fcf

Update! Had a nice brunch!

Got a new cock ring and it’s making me feel extra heavvvvyyyyy 😇 #fcf

My body is a machine that runs on CHICKEN and ARUGULA. 💪

Having a panic attack while sitting still in an office chair and thinking about spending time with friends. Normal! Healthy! Not a problem!

Manic pixie dream girl? No! Slothful harpy nightmare bitch.

Every day my iPhone tries to get me to k*ll myself by serving up a new slideshow of happy memories that are unbearably sad in hindsight. Yay, technology! 🤩

Life is full of ups and downs lately, but I had the most fun of my life yesterday playing and winning Puppy Traitors 2, designed and hosted by @puproger23.bsky.social! 🐶⚔️ Pictured: the final three moments after I revealed I was a Traitor and took the whole prize pot. 😈

You all put up with three consecutive comedy skeets in a row this morning, so now you get cawk for #fcf. (Thighs getting bigger, btw!!!)

Working from home is a constant struggle because I can’t concentrate without an older woman telling me that “Yellowstone is good, actually.”

“Mister Gorbachev… MOVE. THAT. BUS!!!”

Good for Renee!

May there be no rest for the conflict-avoidant. 🙏

Arm felt really big today!!!!!!

View out my office window today…the Chrysler Building is supposed to be in that big foggy void to the left, just a couple blocks away!

So close: it’s actually cheese.

OH MY GOD, WHAT ROLE MADE PEDRO SHAVE?!!

Amy Madigan winning for Weapons means this is gonna be a funnn nighttt! 🥰

Went to the @sondheimslut.bsky.social convention last night 🪩

Real aftercare is texting the next morning that you WERE correctly remembering the name of the female lead of In the Mood for Love (Maggie Cheung).

I drank just enough vodka before getting on the train to the s*x p*try that I’m nervous about to text all my loved ones how precious they are to me 💕

My delicately-calibrated circadian rhythms know exactly what day it is. #fcf

My delicately-calibrated circadian rhythms know exactly what day it is. #fcf

Cackling at these Instagram ads that are trying to market their press-on nails for men as a remedy to nail-biting. Sure, Jan.

A thong for butt day! 🍑

I’m absolutely going to buy a Switch 2 exclusively to play Pokopia, but it’s killing me to have to wait at least another month before it makes financial sense to do so. Cozy game now, please !!!

Dropped a dear friend off at call for the first public performance of their Broadway debut and then took a long loop through Central Park with the rest of NYC on a gorgeous day. Y’all, I feel so much Spring. 🌸 @domusdommi.bsky.social

I distinctly remember improvising the phrase “I was trying to pull the wool over their eyes, but they was already sheep!” in my dream last night. I was dressed as The Once-ler from Green Eggs and Ham for some students, except actually I was the Lorax. Anyway, do you think I’m capable of being loved?

Shortly after taking this photo I made him wake up and move to the bedroom so I could finish watching Hamnet. Tells you a lot about us tbh!

(Many such cases)

Having the really bizarre experience of this post breaking containment today and reaching people who think it’s an earnest statement and not me making fun of myself for being shy at the gym and taking a bunch of dour selfies because of it 💖

Happy #fcf from my “home office” to yours! 💕