I suppose that column is being drafted. "You don't appease a bully. Now is the time for stoicism: remember our forefathers." Written by a bloke who had a meltdown because a delivery driver seemed a bit grumpy in an exchange with him, so he penned a column about it.

Aggressive looking red cloud, full of evil intent, accompanied by chem trails. Probably a sign of Armageddon.

I saw Matthew Goodwin in person the other day, and he’s revolting. I mean it. I’m so relieved we don’t have those hateful bastards in this seat, there’s more than enough hate for them to thrive on alone, but I will never forgive Labour for doing their utmost to make that an even bigger threat.

After spending 2 hours clearing rubbish up,found this in my clean lay-by today 🤬😡😭absolutely heartbroken 😢 why ? 😭

Temminck’s Lark (Eremophila bilopha) is a small desert-dwelling bird distinguished by the male’s bold facial pattern and short, horn-like feather tufts. It inhabits sandy and stony desert regions across North Africa and parts of the Middle East. 📷 Tare Urzolli

If anyone knows how you can sleep more than 4 hours a night and it doesn't involve knockout drugs or imagining yourself floating into the lovely clouds on a lovely magic carpet accompanied by lovely nose flute music ... let me know. TIA.

argh! RIP to Monti Rock III, the man behind Disco-Tex and the Sex-O-Lettes.

Earlier today. The microclimate of London Road ☀️

Bollocks to Paddington. Next year the BAFTAs needs to hand a presenting job to a genuine duffle coated legend of cinema.

This afternoon my husband said "Yeees! Well done Liverpool!" and later "Come on Arsenal!". I must have fallen into a black hole. Next it'll be "I laughed at Stewart Lee on this podcast until the tears rolled down my cheeks!"😔

London’s “worst mass eviction in recent history” is underway; hundreds of households across London told to get out of their homes this week by the same landlord, ahead of the renters rights act. The landlord? Billionaire Asif Aziz’s Criterion Capital. www.londoncentric.media/p/asif-aziz-...

Breaking: actual photo of police turning up to arrest Andrew at his swamp house.

Davina McCall outside Mandelson's house

Dr Hilary Jones warns that measles epidemic is out of control and producing horrible mutations.

Did most of my Bluesky homework at the weekend. Read the Tracey Emin interview. Listened to Angina De Poutine. Can't be arsed to watch the Gareth From The Office thing. What next?

It's half term and this is the one day when it's not raining this week! Might get the train because it won't be cluttered up with schoolkids. Go to the park and have a walk around the lakes! Southeastern trains: "Lol, no, have a replacement bus service instead 🤣🤣🤣"

The correct answer is always: "When I came from the VD clinic I thought our love was finished"

Robert Duvall has passed away at the age of 95

Today’s Church. #SundayCycling

Got back from the shops and the young bloke around the corner who is "most likely" a dealer was with a dog. Didn't recognise it as one of those hard breeds but it was circling me and huffing in a disconcerting way. He didn't have it on a lead of course. Why would he do that?

Annual Valentine's Day picture post.

Look at the thousand yard stare on this lizard pervert. Apparently the eyes don't lie 🦎

Reading all of the negative comments about a bloke with Manchester connections who fucked off to Monaco I thought "why would so many people be kicking up a fuss now over a band Peter Hook formed about thirty years ago?"

There's a whole day without rain in London on Saturday. I can barely contain myself. Might celebrate by wearing suede shoes.

Glamour modelle Jakki Degg and the Archdeacon of Lancaster. The latter was in the same class as me throughout my time at the school. I am the least famous person from my school.

A good stout rat in the overwintering flowerbeds at Hall Place made eye contact with me so I responded by saying "alright mate". Stirs the blood to have meaningful communion with one's fellow living creatures. #wildlifediary

Post a banger ("?") that's not in English. youtu.be/DxLrcWUjZfs?...

I'd rather rip my ears off than listen to these five bands: INXS Wet Wet Wet Texas Green Day Bon Jovi Foo Fighters

Google news story recommended for me: "The rusty bush lark is seen for the first time in 94 years".

Richard Lloyd just announced that Television bassist Fred Smith died in hospice today RIP to one of the greats

Dandy Andy Mandy Sandy

We're talking about a nine year old stationery enthusiast who went to WH Smith and was told to write a postcard to his gran. Go on though, keep your mind in the sewer 🙄

Worth remembering that something did happen: the journalist who revealed this died from a car bomb.

"You're Mandy/Fuck off"

This is who runs this account. (Don't know why it looks as if I've got a lobotomy scar)

Gaza therapists use virtual reality to heal traumatised children. A very insightful article showing the resilience of Palestinians by @palestineinspired.bsky.social But how will children get any support after Israel throws out the aid agencies? www.thecanary.co/global/world...

Ten years since Terry Wogan died which reminds me that we sadly lost our to Geoff's sister in getting the Thank You For Being A Friend mug after his mum moved into care. The Charles & Diana wedding commemorative mug barely compensates.

Help! I'm a boomer who's fallen into a black hole of centrist AI slop telling me that all boomers are rich evil Nazis who have been radicalised by AI slop on Facebook and only the nice young people who are clever enough not to be radicalised by AI slop can save us! How do I emerge unscathed?

Went to the Lee Miller exhibition at Tate Britain yesterday. Cecil Beaton said that she resembled "a sun-kissed goat boy from the Appian Way". Well they say everyone has a type m8🐐 Anyway, here's a picture of Joan Miró at the zoo.

Precis of January's most popular social media posts. "Today is the start of the thousandty millionteenth zillionth week of January." "Here is a photo of some snowdrops. A sign of hope. Spring is almost here 😍" To summarise: a carbon copy of all previous results for January.

Forgive me for tootling a small trumpet - stuff from the past, reappearing on your radio ...

Some boys the Americans eh. Put 10 bullets in someone murder them in broad daylight, in front of witnesses, recorded on video for the world to see, and you get put on administrative leave. Mental.

From one of this week's old TOTPs. Pan's People dancing in 1976 to a Beatles song from 1966 in catsuits they probably wore for a dance routine in 1970. Is this known as "time clashing"? youtu.be/EirWIVJXVmU?...

I see someone on here has said that a "thick red line" means they will be unable to vote Lib Dem again :( :( :(

RIP Black Ark Upsetter Sly Dunbar

Fair play to Andy Burnham for hacking into his account but he could have added a bowl of fried Mars Bars and five half empty bottles of Buckfast.

Oooo remembers the credits at the end of American films from the 1940s urging you to buy bonds to help the War Effort - "AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE IN THE FOYER!!!" Oooo remembers Gary "US" Bonds??? Oooo remembers my expense account???