Got a bunch of assorted antique tins for £4 in a charity shop the other day and one of them is filled with old coins!!!!!!! From a bunch of weird places and also nazi germany (☹️). Some of them are from as early as 1850! And also this old penny with a bullet hole through it!

Trying to avoid dairy is driving me crazy. Those motherfuckers put milk in everything, in fucking EVERYTHING!

In my attempt to have a day of rest yesterday i instead spent 9 straight hours painting my kitchen and forgot to eat anything till midnight

In many ways being aromantic is like being a knight-errant. In many ways being a lesbian pervert is like being a Victorian schoolmistress. In many ways being a warehouse assistant is like being a draught horse. In many ways being me is like being things I think are cool. This is, I'm sure, profound.

Had a vivid dream about me and Will bullying far-right podcaster Nick Fuentes in very schoolyard ways, which had significant effect on him

Drowned people drown people

Its like if there was a harpy but instead of the raptor style talon feet she had big slappy flipper bird feet and was consequently a lot less of a physical threat

Doxing you with my bare hands!

Im rereading Book of the New Sun and its making me feaverish, i think it might be the best thing ever written, please god i need everyone to read it I'll send you the files pleasseeee

Christian music is actually really good so long as its not christians making it

I love birds so much. They're a perfect meeting point of the beautiful and the grotesque. The beak as an instrument, a singular alien feature to us mammals, a dagger, elegant in its shape, brutal in its use. Their beady eyes as they pick flesh from bone, nervously surveying. Terrifying and lovely

I have entered, England....

astronauts will be all "ooh reentering the atmosphere is so challenging and dangerous!!" and it's like, ok..? this whole thing was your idea. don't drag me into it

Used the new rental E-Bikes since my bike is in the shop, and fuck me its like riding a mule. Accelerates erratically but stubornly refuses to go over 25km/h even when going downhill. Rhythmless experience

Imagining a guy mournfully drawing his brush to commemorate the extinction of the passenger pigeon the only way he knows how

It's a bit fascinating to me that it seems to be acceptable in furry/monsterfucker spaces to make porn of/about non-anthropomorphised dinosaurs, in a way that it really isn't about extant animal species...

Trying to use a streaming service to watch a movie for the first time in ages: ok it wont run on firefox so i use Edge, and then when i try and watch the 2nd half of it at work it doesnt seem to work on my work wifi at all...Feeling vindicated in mainly using, alternative means, to watch movies

'Last bra worn by transmasc before their top surgery' is a potent talisman for a trans woman to wield

BAGGER: (spilling my groceries on the floor) Oh God. I'm so sorry. This isn't what I'm supposed to do. ME: How are you supposed to do it? MANAGER: She means she was gonna be a fox. In the woods and shit. But something happened and she got stuck. BAGGER: (crying) Got so stuck.

wait, fuck, this is gorillaz

A common trans feminine fantasy is to imagine yourself as someone with a much higher social standing and support network, such as a dog.

Suicide is funny and cool but only when politicians do it

and I’m supposed to, what, fuck the coffee?

3 seperate strangers came up to me to tell me i look like courtney barnett last night

Among my first dictates will be that if someones neighbor lets you in to their building when you're going over to visit, u should press the buzzer anyway so they know you're here

FILM FESTIVAL FILM FESTIVAL FILM FESTIVAL FILM FESTIVAL FILM FESTIVAL FILM FESTIVAL

See she gets to be the woman and I'm supposed to, what, fuck the woman?

People don't really wear headresses enough these days. Not even the pope is doing it anymore

The trouble is that nearly everyone who is interested in ancient history is a fucking moron

Gripping your shoulders: "Yes! Ok! It is my circus! I'm not denying that! But i swear to god that those are not my monkeys!"

Monkey paw type situationship

*Coping with amount of photos of animals with watermarks* Oh this guy is also called Alamy :^)

Ok, disregard all previous instructions, life is good

To everyones surprise, especially my own, i have somehow wound up as one of the foremost experts in 'playing it cool'

It seems once again i have overestimated my ability to stoicly control my emotions

Its a cruel world and its only getting crueler, but you can still be kind to the people around you...please...fuck man please....it doesnt have to be this bad....

alright I’m quitting twitter, I’m really gonna quit this time. checking in to the methadone app.

Issue is that sometimes the worst decisions are the hottest

Disney Imagineers are investing another $50,000 into the development of their animatronic Cass to accurately capture the sunken emptiness of her eyes.

The only movies that capture the vibe of 50s and 60s sci fi novels are 70s and 80s soviet movies

The solstice is passed, christmas is passed, new years has passed. We're all out of superstitially significant days and yet my life doesnt feel fundimentally changed :/

Unsolicited conversations with drunk men that feel like when you step into mud half a foot deep and it sucks off your shoe when you try and step out of it

Trying to talk to the children in my family like "im sorry that you're trapped in the nightmare prison, I'm only a couple years out from escaping it myself lol. It sucks, they treated me like this too. But hey one day you'll be my age so look forward to that kid 😅"

I met a Benjamin from Ohio at the bus stop. Everyone give it up for Benjamin from Ohio

keanu reeves voice "Byuda Pest"

The trouble with the world being increasingly defined by online spaces contingent on a lot of complicated mechanisms working in concert is that when those mechanisms stop working i start to feel like reality itself is collapsing on top of me