Big win tonight, loads of good stuff over on @arseblog.news for your post-game perusal. We'll have an Arsecast for you tomorrow too, so please join us for that!

Arsenal 3-1 Bayern München. Another Manuel Neuer midfield disasterclass.

Arsenal have played 19 games so far this season in all competitions. They have won 16, drawn two & lost just one. They have kept 13 clean sheets, failed to score in only one game, netted 42 goals & conceded just seven. And all this despite having between three and seven players out simultaneously.

ANOTHER BIG EUROPEAN WIN IN THE BOOKS ✅

Harry Kane's total contribution tonight was diving on the ball a couple of times because he couldn't hack it. Stick to the Bundesliga, son, you're out of your element here.

Sorry, people who follow me based on the politics and human rights stuff, I am an absolute arse when my football team is playing. Normal service will resume shortly. Thank you for your patience.

Tottenham have now conceded 9 goals in their last two matches.

Bayern Munich have been beaten for the first time this season. They went 18 games without defeat until the visit to Arsenal.

chat, is that good?

What do you say, the best team in the world?

Liverpool have now conceded 7 goals in their last two matches.

This is true Arsenal 'eritage 👍

Full time analysis

I am not a religious man, but the way that Timber, Noni, Saka, and Eze show their love to a higher power, I might just be starting to believe 🙌

S T A T E M E N T .

See you in the next round of the Champions League, fellow qualifiers (nobody apart from us). Fuck you, losers (Spurs and Liverpool).

My wife and I do not have any children, but she has been informed that if we do, Declan Rice is being named as their godfather.

"Ooooh, Mikel Arteta calls his subs 'finishers' now, isn't that silly!?" HOW DOES IT TASTE, YOU SLAGS!?

I love players celebrating early

GOAL - Driouech Liverpool 1-4 PSV Eindhoven Champions League

I would have no objections if Declan Rice wanted to take my wife out for a nice steak dinner and a glass of Merlot.

For a small fee, I will go up behind your enemy, tap them on the shoulder, and then punch them in the liver when they turn round. My job doesn't have any "showy" skills, but I'm really tall and good at punching stuff.

Turns out that after this performance and a few beers, I actually do care about the result tonight and I do hate Bayern Munich. What's the German for absolutely revelling in their misery? Surely they have a word for that...

Geeeeenuinely FUCK Bayern Munich and their spud-faced, Jamie Oliver lite, "I can score goals in a farmer's league" talisman. YOU'VE BEEN SHOWN UP, YOU WANKERS.

If you look up "perfect pass" in the dictionary, there's a highlight of that ball from Ebere Eze to Gabriel Martinelli.

GABI FUCKING MARTINELLI!!!!!! HE'S RAPID! HE'S RUTHLESS! HE'S FUCKING BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUUUUUUCK YOU, BAYERN POO-NICH!!!

Declan F****** Rice!

Liverpool and The Shit getting humped as well. Please, sir, hooketh this directly into mine veins.

Assist as pretty as him ngl

Fully deserved on the balance of play.

The second goal was also for the haters

NONI FUCKIN MADUEKEEEEEEE!!!! ACTUALLY FUCK YOu, YOU SHITE GERMAN WANKERS!!!! CALAFIORI IS FUCKING MINT N'ALL!!! EEEEAT SHIIIIT!

FUUUUUCK MY LIFE. How did that not go in!? I maintain that Declan Rice is the best footballer ever.

Harold Kane; once a cheating, diving bitch, always a cheating, diving bitch... Gary Lineker would be rolling in his grave.

Declan Rice is the best footballer on the planet in the history of footballers playing football. That was a close one, but the man is fucking relentless.

timeline cleaning

Fantastic game so far. I think we've had the better of it overall but certainly not by much. A moment of Arsenal brilliance nearly made it two. A moment of Bayern brilliance leveled the score. Very high level game of football

Raya, Timber, Rice have been our best players with the ball. The whole team has been working their socks off without the ball. Raya’s distribution is 🔥

Took that well. Fuck 'em, but that was a top play. MLS caught napping a little, but we can get back at them.

GOAL - Jurriën Timber Arsenal 1-0 Bayern München Champions League

When it comes to corners, Rice and Saka love whipping balls like Le Chiffre in Casino Royale. (I will not apologise for this analogy.)

THE PASTOR HITS THE BACK OF THE NET WITH A HEADER FROM A CORNER!!! SET PIECE FC! OLE OLE OLE!!!! 1-0 TO THE ARSENAL!!!!!!!!

Saka smacked in the face. Purely accidental, no foul, but he will not like that...

Three of them on Saka and it took Kane diving on top of the ball like Captain America on a grenade to stop him.

Oh dear, Liverpool. What hell hath thou wrought?

Do football ethics matter? To these two they do.

Max Dowman is ridiculous.

[bursts in panting covered in Sharpie]

All level on points 😂