Not even the slightest spark of compassion, concern, or empathy. I'll never understand how people can still look at this soulless parasite and think, "yeah, he's my guy."

For Trumpsgiving, nobody will be able to travel to the dinners people can't afford to host anyway. SO MUCH WINNING.

Should normalize voting results looking like the left vs the right. Land can’t vote. Populations and people vote.

For the newbie writers: this is a current scam making the rounds. The goal is to get you to pay for reviews from a book club that doesn't exist. Don't fall for it. (Extra asshole points to this bunch for pretending to be from a marginalized group.)

It's like everyone's cheering the first faint rays of good political news on the horizon after nine months of utter fucking darkness.

this genuinely feels like a moment history books will look back on where the Democratic Party was forced to either fix its hearts or die

This sort of thing is toxic in that kind of hyper-masculine environment. However the trial turns out, this dude is going to hear sandwich jokes from his fellow Temu Gestapo buddies for the rest of his career.

hey Siri is pepto-bismol safe for face-eating leopards

I know Daylight Saving Time is a pain in the ass, but take heart. It's only until we defeat the Kaiser.

THIS JUST IN: Local Dogs Claim Time Change "Fake News Bullshit", Threaten ASPCA Involvement Over Late Dinner

"Wenn das der Führer wüsste!"

The people on the right who have been accusing liberals of practicing "moral relativism" for decades are now failing the easiest morality tests ever put in front of anyone.

We're just a few weeks away at best from Congressional Republicans just dropping the hard R in public statements with defiant little smirks.

That chyron. "Libs melt down over Trump 3rd term talk". So should you, you treasonous motherfuckers. So should you.

“some people abuse SNAP” your soul is rotten

And everyone with a brain knows that he'd absolutely lose his shit if someone made the news for refusing to live next door to white, English-speaking Christians.

The most laughable part of this is that his meaningless alphabet salad got 89 reposts and 262 likes when that screenshot was taken. It's like those North Korean generals that follow Dear Leader everywhere with notepad and pencil in hand to write down every utterance of their god-king.

Littlest doggo likes to howl, and I've started nicknaming her "Enid" because she's "wolfing out" like Wednesday's roomie. Well, now she gets to look like Enid too because we found the kid's old hair chalk.

"Mr. Mamdani, why did you knowingly lie to your young relative by tricking them into believing that you had amputated their nose when it was in fact your own thumb between your fingers? EXPLAIN THAT."

Even if you disregard the fact that people have called older relatives "aunt" and "uncle" in many cultures since time immemorial, it's infuriating how only liberals are ever held to any standards for language, behavior, and morality by the right-wing media, and pedantically narrow ones at that.

Every time I read about "writer's block", I remember this quip from an unknown source: "My daddy was a plumber, and he never had a day of plumber's block in his life."

There are few things more troubling than a super-rich person using their money and influence to bring about a delusional fantasy that requires Armageddon to happen first.

There is no weapons system anywhere, past or present, in any military, that has a 100% hit rate. None. Anyone who claims otherwise doesn't know what the fuck they're talking about, or they're lying through their teeth.

I'm a level 54 human writer today. Anyone know the level cap for my race/class combo? I lost the manual for this RPG a while ago.

So weird how the Feds are overbearing and trampling on state and local rights constantly when a Democrat is in the White House, but they're all-powerful and beyond reproach or criticism when it's a Republican in charge.

The entire liberal Old Guard needs to be out on their asses after the smoke settles on this regime because they're still treating this like Politics As Usual.

"There are three things that can't be combined: intelligence, decency, and Nazism. One can be intelligent and a Nazi. Then one isn't decent. One can be decent and a Nazi. Then one isn't intelligent. And one can be decent and intelligent. Then one isn't a Nazi." --Gerhard Bronner, Austrian composer

A military that gets its paychecks from private interests is no longer a military, it's a mercenary corps.

Oh my god some fucking tech dingdong posted this on Twitter with the caption "AI games are going to be amazing" totally seriously, you have to watch it. You have to. In full screen.

Local Dogs Have Hardest Lives, Local Dogs Claim

Meanwhile in Moscow, Putin is belly-laughing at the images of the White House with the entire East Wing reduced to rubble.

One of the cool things about pre-ordering hardcovers is the surprise when they arrive months later when you almost forgot that you ordered them.

This is going to destroy what's left of shared consensus reality. The disinformation plague of the last decade will be a light-hearted prank compared to what's coming. Make anyone say anything to mislead the rubes, deny everything inconvenient as AI. It's now all a Make-Your-Own-Reality adventure.

It's also very labor-intensive, and one crafty raccoon can wipe out most of your yield in a single night.

Super amusing to listen to this idiot's "bigger numbers are more better" blathering and then watch MAGA people adding qualifiers to spin the total nonsense into something that isn't a mathematical impossibility. "Biden raised them 900%! He just means he's bringing them down to where they were!"

Random term that just now popped into my head and will probably be the nucleus of a weird-ass story: "Meat jet printer".

Nobody--and I mean nobody--gets a Nazi tattoo by accident.

Once again I have to wonder if those tech companies ever ask themselves who's going to be able to buy their stuff once they've replaced most of their payroll with AI and automation.

I knew the shitshow was going to be far worse than anyone could imagine, but it's still wild to see him turn the People's House into Biff Tannen's Pleasure Paradise in realtime.

Some campaign ads just write themselves.

future grandchild: like shit, from an ass? me in 30 years: Swear to God. Then he demolished the White House

Mit Trennschleifern am Sonntag ins Museum einbrechen und Juwelen klauen, das wäre in Deutschland nie möglich wegen Sonntagsruhe, aber hallo.

When this is over, we can hold the Nuremberg 2.0 trials in that big ballroom before we tear it down.

You write a novel with a scene like that, your readers are going to toss the book aside because the metaphor is too ham-fisted.

If you get an unsolicited email or DM from me: no, you didn't. It's a scam. www.markokloos.com?p=3935

“We are all, how you say, trying to find zee guy who did zis.”

Imagine you're flexing on the libs when everything on that tiny balcony put together can be had with nothing but $100, a ride to Wally World, and shit taste in beer.

Failure to return the shopping cart to one of the cart returns if you are able is a sign of someone who does not value the social contract.

Who robbed the Louvre? Right answers only.