i will say lindsey graham being asked by a reporter how mitch mcconnell is doing, answering “i don’t know, i’m going to check right now” and then dying is hilarious

Smoking on that shit that makes you Gary for the rest of your life

Just a reminder. I'm always surprised how many people aren't aware of this. #Libraries

shirt that says ask me about my gun i use to shoot people who ask stupid questions

It's finally here: Lola's Familiars Steam page is now available! The game has been in development for over a year and I couldn't be happier with the result so far!! Wishlist Now! store.steampowered.com/app/3804280/... #LolasFamiliars #SummerGameFest #videogames #indiegames #indiedev

just found out about this thing called a bed. you guys have been sleeping on it

back to the future scene where marty pulls out a family pic to see he's fading away but also the twin towers come back one by one and a third one appears

john sims, harry dubois, and arthur lester are three sides of the same coin

shout out to the dollar store clerk in north dakota who said “don’t worry about it, you’re good, girl” but really emphasized the “good girl” part of it in response to me asking if i could sleep in the parking lot. you’re the goat but also wtf were you cooking and how did you clock me like that.

i think it’s very telling that most “(streamer) highlights” videos are like 20-30 minutes but jerma ones are minimum 1 hr. i’m not sure why it’s saying but it’s telling.

Dr Bronner’s Adds “Lubricant” to 19-in-1 as April Fools Prank, Millions Hospitalized

im scampering around the forest eating up all the oral rabies vaccines to save our glorious raccoons from autism

tv at the bar playing The Masked Singer, muted

-Hey Fred, give me a pizza with partial beef! Partial beef. -And hold the sauce. Hold the sauce? -And hold the cheese! -HOLD THE CHEESE!? EY JIMMIE GET ME A HALF BEEF WITH NUTTIN’

they don’t make shitboxes anymore, only shitblobs. these cars are gonna age and break and they won’t even look cool and rectangular while doing it.

star banging shield

“if shit sucks, hit da bricks” isn’t enough. i think a better adage is “if you don’t like it, change it. if you can’t change it, ignore it. if you can’t ignore it, make it impossible for it to ignore you”

guess who found $2.43 today

whitest guy ever insists he’s chinese bc he was born in China, Maine

is Advetures of Tintin (2011) a mecha anime?- the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate

i’m not one for boxing but it is nice to see jake paul and andrew tate both get the shit kicked out of them in the same weekend

i wanted more kei trucks in the us but not like this

can this horrible machine were trapped in the belly of bleed to death a little faster? i wanna get OUT

death grips tiny desk concert. see that wasn’t so hard. no ai. you just imagine shit. any image created would just ruin the perfect image in your mind. sometimes less is more

(explaining an american car to a european) yeah so imagine if you were sitting in the back seat while driving,

new conspiracy, his neck “didn’t just do that,” it was a vampire biting him. we just couldn’t see it because all the cameras used mirrors.

mob front business that can’t hire any employees because they keep saying it’s like a “family” and it’s setting off toxic workplace alarm bells in gen-z

they are not “my” circus or “my” monkeys. we are a performer-owned cooperative, the monkeys own the circus as much as i do.

bisexual? is that twice a sex or once every other sex?

she zuccing on my chini til im bred 🥴

before i looked up the lyrics i could’ve sworn it was “am i all alone with my feudal lepers” in End of Dramamine and i was like yeah that makes sense. he’s saying he’s surrounded by diseased peasants

oh i can kinda do this one #pixelart

hello, foot fetish artist? i would like to commission some signalis fanart

burn (1/7)

i save all my empty pill bottles and fill them with mike & ikes so whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced i can dramatically pop a couple and pretend to calm down and freak out whoever was annoying me. i don’t actually do this but it makes for a good bit.

the worst part of getting new computer is that you have to sign in to gmail approximately 20 times. and then you have to sign in to everything that isn’t gmail.

marketing myself as an “elvis impersonator” and then when i get hired i just play dead in their bathroom

going thru the free christian bumper sticker site to make silly cut-up poems and i can’t even think of how to improve this one.

applying for jobs again

going through the anti-suffrage posters from history class

objects i’ve shoved up my arse

Blue Jay in flight I very rarely paint birds in flight because getting the feathers right is always such a challenge! But I’m so pleased with how this piece turned out #birds #birdart #bluejay #digitalart

hardware stores love me for my legible notation and organized tables

i hate this. my first iphone had 16 gb storage total, and about the same amount of base features. the math isn’t mathing. what’s in there. remove it.

seems like it sucks to be Abu Dhabi. you're a major city in the UAE and all people seem to do is say "oh that's where you send Nermal"

the gorilla has to get lucky 100 times, we only have to get lucky once

i’m gonna gaslight r/battlejackets by making a jacket with all fake bands and when i get called out for it say that they’re all just so obscure you’d never heard of them before.